Hey folks, looking for some advice on ways to facilitate in-game gambling in online games. The specific challenge that we face is with any betting games where one might roll a concealed die, make a bet, and repeat. I'm honestly not sure what the rules are for Three Dragon Ante, but think of a game close to a Texas Hold'em equivalent. I'd like the records to be stored somewhere to ensure that everything is on the up-and-up when dice are revealed.
Here is the mechanism I'm looking for: player and/or DM rolls die only visible for them, [save die roll], [pause for discussion on bet], rinse and repeat for as many rounds as necessary.
Does anyone have any specific advice on settings or even websites that can help with this? Currently we're running D&D 5E on Fantasy Grounds, for reference.

Hey folks, looking for some advice on ways to facilitate in-game gambling in online games. The specific challenge that we face is with any betting games where one might roll a concealed die, make a bet, and repeat. I'm honestly not sure what the rules are for Three Dragon Ante, but think of a game close to that or a Texas Hold'em equivalent. I'd like the records to be stored somewhere to ensure that everything is on the up-and-up when dice are revealed.
Here is the mechanism I'm looking for: player and/or DM rolls die only visible for them, [save die roll], [pause for discussion on bet], rinse and repeat for as many rounds as necessary.
Does anyone have any specific advice on settings or even websites that can help with this? Currently we're running D&D 5E on Fantasy Grounds, for reference.

I want to preface that the contents of this post is for informational purposes. I do not condone or approve of any harassments or witch-hunting or the attacking of anybody.
 
Richard Lewis recently did a stream talking about the terrible state of CS esports and I thought it was an important stream anyone who cares about the CS community should listen to.
Vod Link here: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/830415547
I realize it is 3 hours long so I took it upon myself to create a list of interesting points from the stream so you don't have to listen to the whole thing, although I still encourage you to do so if you can.
I know this post is still long but probably easier to digest, especially in parts.
Here is a link to my raw notes if you for some reason want to read through this which includes some omitted stuff. It's in chronological order of things said in the stream and has some time stamps. https://pastebin.com/6QWTLr8T

Intro

• "The last month has convinced me, that we are going to be heading into a dark place for Counter-Strike esports in 2021."
  • "I think I've seen the scene essentially kill itself."
• "For the past 5 to 6 years, we've basically been in a holding pattern of people coming into our game wanting to run it, wanting to run all of the esports and wanting to profiteer and its been sort of a concerted effort to drive them off and push them away."
  • "We're spread way too thin."
• "If Riot don't get involved and stop the scumbags that have moved over to Valorant from getting their feet under the table, Valorant is going to have real problems."
• RL thinks too much has happened all at once for us to do anything except watch it play out, like:
  • Recent CSPPA strike against BLAST
  • ESIC failures and them not being supported enough
  • Teams cheating i.e. coaches/bugs
  • Widespread match fixing
  • The Pandemic
    • "People who try to hold bubble events are so incompetent and fuck up and people get the 'rona and its their fault."
    • "People who say Flashpoint is a bubble is full of shit and is a lie and people are now suffering for that lie."
      • "To save money they let people go home and break the bubble for a week."
      • "Not just Flashpoint peoples decision, they have a partner that handles the production." (hinting FACEIT)
      • "People are trapped in hotels essentially under house arrest because of COVID restrictions and has fucked peoples lives up."
• "It's all too much, all of this incompetence, all of this greed, maybe we ride it out."
  • RL says he has talked to the Riot devs (the ones working on Valorant) and says, "They are so cognizant of all the fuck ups and all the problems we have in Counter-Strike."
    • He continues to say that this is factored into their business plan and that we never had a competitor, but just so happens to have one coincide, when we are at our worst.

CSPPA - Counter-Strike Professional Players' Association

"Who does this union really fucking serve?"

• RL believes that the CSPPA is a mockery.
  
  • He points out the hypocrisy that they wouldn't strike for the pros who were kicked out of ESL Pro League, or for Jamppi or dream3r.
    • He also says ESL paid CSPPA and are racketeering and many other TOs have to pay them to get their "seal of approval"
      • He says they would strong-arm TOs saying "well if you don't give us the money, these guys are so we'll just have to commit to playing their event."
    • Also points out that they will strike against a competitor they are not in agreement with (Flashpoint)
    • RL: "It's what it says about every other time you haven't done it and it's about every time you don't do it now moving forward." "The issues they've chosen to ignore this year alone are embarrassing."
    • Then he points out that there was no strike for Valve qualifiers even if we have no major but Jamppi and dream3r can't play in them.
      • "and Valve have said 'Oh yeah we know actually their stories are accurate, Jamppi didn't cheat, now in a legally binding document. Yep dream3r did have his account hacked in a LAN café', but they still can't play. Where is the fucking solidarity? Gone. Doesn't exist. It's not important [because] it doesn't affect you." "That's what the union does right now, it looks after all the tier 1 people."
• He says the CSPPA doesn't represent all players all the time and has driven a divide where you have the haves and have-nots
  
  • "We have a tier of players that operate with impunity and do not help their tier 2 or tier 3 players out at all." "If you are not a tier 1 player you do not matter, they don't event ask your opinion."
  • He tells chrisJ to admit and own the fact that the reason he didn't speak up during the ESL Pro League debacle is because it didn't affect him
  • "They are looking after some players at the expense of other players. How the fuck is that a union?"
• He says the BLAST situation is a reasonable dispute and supports the players but is not the right time for a strike and have not even identified the correct enemy
  
  • He thinks players are lashing out now due to previous incidents and are upset that BLAST are working with ESIC
    • He stated that CSPPA shouldn't beefing with ESIC and they should be working in harmony
  • He says what they need to do is talk with the teams/organizations that have sold that right to BLAST
    • RL: "Your employers, the people who pay you that massive exorbitant salaries, when you don't stream and you don't do interviews and you offer no value beyond your ability to click heads and you get 25k dollars a month." "Why don't you talk to them about it? Oh right. You're happy to take away BLAST's paper, but you don't want to risk your own."
  • "I am seeing such unbelievable cowardice from the players here with the battles you choose."
  • "Where was the strike action when in the qualifiers for the world championship, there were teams and players engaged in huge conflicts of interest?" "Where was the strike action when your image rights were taken and sold to every league you've ever been in every union type organization you've ever been associated with like, WESA, to your org every time you sign a contract, to the leagues you play in."
    • "Your image rights are essentially worthless now, there's about 10 fucking separate parties that have them, and how many of them are giving you anything for it? Not much pretty much your org by the way."
    • "That's a big issue. Your image is you, your image is your brand. What are you doing about that? Nothing."
• He is also angry at SirScoots who is "popping off" at people on Twitter who all want the same thing, which is 'A unified Counter-Strike scene for everybody, that works for everybody, that has a sustained ecosystem that nourishes everybody.' "We don't have that now."
  
• He also says their rankings are a joke
  
  • "Just so happened, oh look TACO, that very important prominent member of the board, we pushed his team artificially up when they weren't even in the fucking top 20, not by a long shot."
• He also says the ineptitude of the CSPPA cost Flashpoint a monitor sponsor
  
• "Is it really a player association or is it like a fucking agency at this point"
  

ESIC - Esports Integrity Commission

"They have been put in an impossible position."

• RL says that Ian Smith, the founder of ESIC and who was done work in mainstream sports, is a good and honorable man who has dedicated his life to integrity and sports. He takes on both sides, ensuring match fixers are punished, but also doing appeals and ensuring those punishments were fair.
• "ESIC is a tiny organization" and are in need of money, "They didn't run a grift like the CSPPA did."
  • "Saying 'you want our support and you want the players to turn up you better pay us.' They don't do that."
  • "Had startup seed money from MTG and since then they've been pecking shit with the hens."
    • Ian Smith made sure that the money given by MTG (Modern Times Group, parent company of ESL, ESEA, DreamHack) was nothing more than startup money and wouldn't be in debt to them
      • Ian Smith sat down with other TO's not part of MTG and wanted to partner with them. They declined and called ESIC "ESL spies and we will never align ourselves with you"
  • "They only were just able to afford, hiring a PR guy on a full time salary to deal with the press and send out those releases you've seen, this year."
    • "They have a tiny group of staff investigating these things and they have taken on the biggest problems in our scene: the cheating, the match fixing."
• ESIC have had "unprecedented levels of cheating to deal with, because there's something wrong with our scene ever since we went online. There's something wrong with it, everyone's lost their fucking pride and self-respect and they got no passion for it anymore, so they think fuck it, what's in it for me?"
  • He calls out coaches who are talking about players rights when they would rob and steal from them.
    • Also says more coaches being banned are coming
    • He also points out flaws in community's reaction to the punishments to coaches bans: "Half of the cunts still have jobs and some of the cunts got new jobs. We didn't even shun the cheating coaches."
• ESIC have "found I think another 2 or 3 exploits like that one and they are investigating them all right now, it's going on right now."
  
  • "I know that there are going to be more names getting banned, again."
  • "So they're doing that on a skeleton crew while, investigating 3 continents worth of match fixing in MDL and semi-pro level CS." "They're doing this with half a dozen people." "They don't have any money or any help. People barely even fucking cooperate with them, they are treated like pariahs. It's ridiculous."
    • "Why are the CSPPA popping off at ESIC on my Twitter timeline, when you should be working together." "because its all about what's in it in for me." "2020, the online era of CS: 'What is in it for me?' How can I cheat, how can I get my paper, how can I bleed this scene one last time before I fuck off and play shooty shooty bang bang Riot Games babys first fps."
• RL says that in the CIS region, teams have gone to tournaments and have been eliminated multiple times by the same team. We found out they were cheating and those players who lost, have been cut from their roster, careers ended because of cheaters.
  

Stream Sniping

"They're all at it in the online era, they're all at it, they're all cheating, they're all using exploits, probably that see through smoke bug got used a bunch of times"

• RL talks about how there is no integrity from dead (the player), always denying when caught doing something
  • On the topic of 'BLAST never said we couldn't stream snipe': "Lies, BLAST never said you could do that, they had to sort of retcon it." "because what happened after that they fucking started snitching and squealing"
    • "Suddenly you had like, 10 of the top 15 teams in the world, staring into the abyss of being banned for 6-12 months in line with ESIC recommendations."
      • He says that ESIC was put in a tough situation and couldn't enforce the bans because it would have resulted in killing CS. What resulted was, BLAST, ESIC, and teams came together and gave them a warning and told them, in RL's words "don't do this again or you're gonna get got."
        • He then says the top teams brushed this off and didn't give a fuck
        • The new MiBR team playing Flashpoint, that wasn't involved in the previous incidents are doing it again (stream sniping). He gave credit to Flashpoint for the quick resolution and punishment and respect for cogu's response to the situation.
        • "ESIC came out and said, once more, 'Guys, zero tolerance from now on.'" RL then got upset at community's reaction calling ESIC "pussies" for their non enforcement and said if we want competitive CS we cant ban the top 10 teams.
• He points out how players have no integrity and will do anything for an edge as long as they won't get detected or banned or it's within a grey area.
• "All of this shit was mad avoidable, even in the pandemic era."
  • He talks about why aren't we filming them. Why aren't there representatives for leagues and tournaments making sure players aren't cheating?

Match Fixing

"How many years have we let our scene be fucking pillaged by these greedy cunts?" "We just let it happen."

• RL says that gambling and skins betting which existed in moderation was "accelerated and blown up by the Call of Duty greedy fucks."
  • "Never forget TmarTn was on the board of EnVyUs." "His website, CSGOLotto, they had a bunch of off-the-books sponsorships." "NBK promoted them. People forget."
• "Those people who had access to the skins, go to the players" "Even people like s1mple, best player in the world, even he scammed knives and skins off fucking fans."
• Owners of skin casino sites would approach pros and lend them skins to use in tournaments and possibly keep them after reaching a deal
  • Players would tip off inside info about matches and teams in exchange for skins. Info such as: roster changes, how they played in scrims
    • They would use this info to bet and subvert the odds on their sites. "That happened religiously, I can't even tell you how many times it happened."
      • "I had access to the biggest database of information, from an inside betting circle in NA, and it would take information and screenshots from other pro players, who were feeding them info in exchange for money or skins."
        • "Some of these players are still playing." "Incredibly, there are players still in the CSPPA today, complaining about the BLAST recordings, that were embroiled in this murky shit back then."
• RL also says that there were tournaments where teams contrived with each other, who should throw, who should win.
• "There's a handful of people that are trying to fucking clean it up, and you think you get something over the line and you see something like the CSPPA and it's run by corrupt fucking chuckle heads, and now you've got another corrupt body you have to fight on a fucking daily basis, it's demoralizing."
  • "It's too far gone. Our entire semi-professional scene is compromised."
• "It's rife guys, I'm not going to lie any more. It's not just China, it's not just Russia, it's here, it's NA, it's Europe, it's Australia, so much more than you think, so much more than we can prove."
  • "I get sent chat logs all the time […] and they're morons, these players, short-sighted, amateur, morons and they're doing it on WhatsApp." People would get cut from the bets because they want to make more money, then they leak the logs. He says, from the chat logs, they spread "little" bets across every site they can (400 to 1k dollars) to prevent shifting odds
• He says the scumbags who've fucked off to Valorant will do the same there if Riot doesn't do something and says Valorant "is an esports scene heading for a very early fall based on the sheer volume of scumbags that are already there."
• "That's tier 2 CS in a nutshell these days. They know they're never going to play in a major, so what's the punishment?"
  • "All of these tier 2 fucks that are fixing games now they are like the fucking mafia compared to iBuyPower" "These guys are working with organized criminals to fix entire seasons worth of games. That's what's going on in your tier 2 CS."
• "I'm literally being told that there are players fixing games at all levels of Chinese esports and motherfuckers with guns are turning up to team houses and stuff."

North America

"Everyone in NA has left we've lost a continents worth of support during this pandemic and Valve haven't said a fucking word."

• RL says the Call of Duty "goblins" that destroyed CS for years are the same people who are now trying to leave CS. "The nerve to treat a game where the fans, and the community, and the TO's were nothing but good to you." "To just kick the players out now and go and leave and say 'It just doesn't make financial sense.' Oh you'll slither back when we have a major though for them stickers won't you."
• There's a cascading effect in NA where people don't bother with CS anymore and people like Chaos suffer.
• He says NA team owners are incompetent for always wanting it easy and always wanting a guarantee on their investment without skill or nuance.
  • RL says he would be able to market a team correctly and would have a good ROI and also points out how TSM wouldn't even be bothered to tweet that their team, which was one of the best in the world, was playing at the Major.
  • He also says not all NA owners are like that, compliments and respects Jason Lake who nearly lost everything to keep Complexity going.
• He then calls out the incompetence in Infinite Esports when they acquired OpTic Gaming and bought an Indian CS team.
  • He says HECZ is not to blame here and that they couldn't tell forsaken was cheating when it was so obvious.
    • They measured his reaction time to the likes of dev1ce and s1mple
    • When an enemy showed up on his screen he won that duel something like 44% of the time
    • "was like the number 1 player in the world statistically"
    • He brought a laptop to their bootcamp and refused to use the high end PCs that hey provided
• He respects Andy Miller (NRG CEO) and HECZ but says that the attitude of not being able to easily monetize their teams is "piss weak" and there needs to be a risk.
  • He says Chaos EC shouldn't be cutting their roster and should be competent enough to be able to figure out how to make money off their team.
• He says there are still opportunities in NA and people are panicking and pulling out, and says Valorant will be the same if not worse.
  • He also says "bums" who couldn't even get out of groups in NA competitions, are making crazy money in Valorant and says it will continue to inflate.
• He also said that he heard rumors that EG (Evil Geniuses) are done.
• He also thinks that the rumors of a Valve franchised league from before was sparked up from "these lazy fabled weak NA fucking team owners basically trying to see if Valve would bite at the hook if it was dangled and they didn't"
  • Slasher says NA team owners are really in favor of franchised leagues because they want to make more money. "Most of the powerful team owners right now are on board with ditching this third party organization structure, or they are trying to play this power politics with all the TOs, and that is contributing to a lot of the problems there"
• RL says that Riot has proved they can run a franchised league (LCS) and will be profitable in 2021 which is what a lot of team owners care about and says the competition will only serve to snatch people away from CS.
• RL continues to say, "I am so sick and tired of what we have done to this scene, I am just exhausted with it." "I think we have legitimately fucked it, I really think we have. I think we're staring into almost like a CGS (Championship Gaming Series) wasteland in NA." "Counter-Strike esports is a fucking joke."

Talent

"TO's have treated CS talent like absolute human garbage for years now."

• RL says that people like Sean Gares and ddk switching over to Valorant isn't for financial reasons because they are making less over there.
• He points out that TO's can't even give talent a 3 month in advance calendar.
• Because of the pandemic TO's won't hire certain people and some people are working more hours for the same money.
• He says we as a community don't respect journalists enough which is why we don't have good journalists.
  • He also says DeKay is leaving the scene soon and that Thorin is close to leaving also
• He says he had to talk a caster down from quitting and was struggling to find reasons.
• He says that DreamHack told Vince they would hire him but not if he wants to stick with dusT and says that this is the norm in esports. "Constant leveraging of people against each other." and says this is why we don't have a talent union.
• New gen casters are getting put into shit situations and the community's reaction to them is adding fuel to the fire
• He says the reason Moses left was because of the terrible conditions
• He says that Anders had to constantly leave his family and kid because someone fucked up or broke promises and had to constantly tell his kid to their face that "daddy can't be home this weekend."
• He says that esports has always been a lie to sell you this dream, "Meanwhile there's about 2% of the cunts getting all the checks."

Valve

"Anything that Riot does, is better than Valve's inaction"

• Slasher says that the larger aspect of esports as a whole compared to other entertainment mediums and Valve's lack of inattention are the bigger problems. He continues saying that the fact that Valve let their game be ran as an esport, they need to take on the responsibilities of it.
  • Both Slasher and RL wants Valve to take control but not on the level of Riot Games, there needs to be a balance.
• In case it was ever a question: Gabe Newell has been to 0 CSGO Majors.
• RL calls Valve out saying they could have done something during the gambling era.
• He says Valve used to come to the majors, but doesn't think they do anymore.
• RL had met with Valve at the Cluj-Napoca Major and had tried to appeal iBP's indefinite punishment and had also gave Brax's life story:
  • A recent family member passed away, they had lost a lot of income, they had to live in trailer, iBuyPower did not pay any salaries, and was pressured by family to make money who didn't support his career.
  • RL said that Valve told him, "How dare you try and make us feel guilty." "We shouldn't feel bad about enforcing the only thing that matters that we need to make players afraid of: cheating and match fixing"
  • RL also tried to share other info about match fixing and nothing came of it
• RL points out that Source 2 or a new engine is not something you will want based on the experience of transitioning from CS 1.6 to CS:S. "Valve's track record with brand new engines being launched, not fucking great from what I remember."
• Slasher says "If there is anything the community should do, is pressure Valve to hire a community manager."
  • They say that we need a commissioner, a community manager (not the person who runs the Twitter who posts memes all day), then we need to have a circuit
• RL reiterates that Valve doesn't care about CS esports and says they need to change the culture at Valve to make them care about CS esports
  • Slasher says a systemic problem is making it so working on CSGO would be a bad decision for you as an employee for Valve
• He also hasn't talked to Valve in ages and have sent over bugs and cheats and doesn't get emails back anymore
• Slasher says we should be directing attention at the developer leads, pointing out Ido Magal, if he even is still the project lead
  • RL thinks that Ido and Brian are the only people that "vaguely even give a fuck about CS" and were the only people that RL recalled that actually read Reddit and paid attention from time to time
• "It is really fucking precarious. Somebody has got to step the fuck up and start giving a shit"
  • Slasher suggests org owners, with CSPPA, with ESIC, with TOs have a concerted effort against Valve
• "Riot Games are doing better things than Valve in the esports space" which is something RL didn't think he'd say.
• "People who used to be talent, working with unions, arguing with other talent, when the unions fucked them over, can't understand their perspective, TOs fucking over broadcast talent, broadcast talent wanting to leave and go and work for orgs, orgs having no money, Valve might take coaches away because all the coaches are cheating, ESIC has about 4 people in a fucking call doing the investigations, everyone thinks they're spies for ESL, ESL are just the evil fucking overlords wanting to rule the scene and will just somehow, like cockroaches outliving a nuclear bomb, and Valve are in a fucking holiday in Hawaii thinking about the next Dota character because they don't give a fuck about us."

Closing Statements

"We've peaked. If we want to sustain and exist, now is the time to figure it out. No esports lasts as long as this, we've already done 8 years. We've already broke the records. We have got to figure out a way to coexist and drive the negative forces out and we need to do it as a collective and we're not doing that."

• RL compared the Counter-Strike scene to the people on the Titanic who ran around with guns robbing people while the boat was sinking.
• "We have given up on being a respectable esports scene." "We are now a conduit to make money for those who want to just milk it, just have one last ride, one last roll of the dice. It's done." "What a fucking mess. What have we done to our fucking scene?"
• "There's just too much self-interest driving all of this." "I don't see a way we stop the dominoes." "When it's that bad, when there's that many dishonest people that ESIC have to come out and say that if we punish them all there's no one left. What does that tell you?"
• "How many opportunities have we had to clean house? How many times have we said, 'this must never happen again', and another scandal." "The entire skins betting operations was the biggest criminal conspiracy in esports ever executed and no one has been punished for it." "The people who could be driving that don't want to."
• "Right now people are fans of those organizations because the scene has value. It is worth being a fan of Astralis because they are excellent at Counter-Strike. It is worth being a fan of s1mple because he is the best player in Counter-Strike, maybe the exception of ZywOo. If the scene is devalued, if the scene loses its meaning, those things lose its meaning too, and people will leave, people will stop tuning into the games. I have seen it happen in multiple esports, this is not my first time at the rodeo. I am getting big Brood War vibes right now and I don't like it."
• "The role you play in all of this as fans, as viewers, as listeners, as consumers of esports content, it's absolutely imperative that you know who the good guys are. It's absolutely imperative that you use your voice. It's absolutely imperative that when things are bad, you know who, at least, is trying to make them good, and you have to apply your criticism to the right targets."
  • He continues saying it's no good in continuing to attack ESIC and saying how they are bad, ESIC have it hard
• He says CSPPA are on the right side of the argument on BLAST but have been on the wrong side of many arguments many times.
  • "If you are not willing to stand along side the weakest member of the union, with the least amount of influence, and the least amount of power, then it is not a union at all and you shouldn't pose as one." "You wanna serve a bunch of special interest do it, everyone else in esports fucking does, but do not pose as something you are not." "We love the players. I've been fighting for players rights for as long as I've been able to, but the CSPPA is not what we needed."
    • "They are not applying the pressure to the right people, they are not fighting the right battles, they are not helping their weaker members."
• He says what orgs have done by keeping or hiring coaches is bad. "When you give up on holding an appreciable standard, you've lost the scene" "Competition matters, rules matter, punishments matter, achievements matter, excellence matters" "If you start stripping that away, you have nothing" "You guys need to take that knowledge and apply it sensibly."
• "Valve has sold you all down the river, they sold everyone in the esports scene down the river, tournament organizers are selling their talent down the river. Don't hate on them for sounding tired after a 16 hour day. Don't hate on them because the hype for a matchup they've seen for the 20th time in the past 3 months, they can't be as excited or it sounds contrived. Support your guys, they're there for you, these are your people."
• "This community has got to start acting like one for the first fucking time. Just put the petty shit away, let's try and fix this fucking scene while we still have one to save."
• "You can't rely on Valve, you can't rely on ESL, you can't rely on the CSPPA, you can't rely on anyone." "Once again, it's gonna be the likes of us, the amateurs, the people who give a fuck, rolling up our sleeves and grafting." "I'm old and tired and I don't want to have to do it again. People need to pick up the torch and do it."
  • "Like Michal did, like Dudenhoeffer did. You see something wrong, fix it. You see somebody doing something wrong, call it out. If you think something could be better, let people know."
• "Vote with your wallets if you're not happy with the direction Valve goes in. If when we do get to the Major, they serve up another subpar, same old bullshit stickers and signatures package again, do not buy it."
  • "You're a powerful block and if you use it correctly we can fucking avert this disaster."
• "I'm not doing another year in this broken, bust-up fucking scene, where everyone is miserable, everyone is broke, everyone is tired, and everyone is trying to fucking rob everyone else, blind, while the fucking people who are meant to be protecting you, are just fucking enhancing it and lining their own pockets."
  • "I'm not doing it anymore and you shouldn't want to do it either."
• "I stand by every fucking thing I said. I mean it, because this game fucking matters to me, this scene fucking matters to me. I put my life into this, my adult life, and to see it in this state is fucking sad."

Hello everyone; you may know of the new, OSR-focused magazine Knock! which is currently accepting pre-orders for a second (& final) printing after their initial, highly successful Kickstarter.
Many of the articles published in Knock! #1 are drawn from the blogosphere, so I went ahead and collected as many as I could. About half of the random tables are unique to Knock! #1, so I did not find any web sources. A few articles also eluded me, although I tried to provide links to the authors' sites when related info was available online.
Overall, the magazine provides a lot of unique art and other elements such as maps and interactive portions which can't be duplicated by the blogs listed here. With that being said, I was surprised by how little original content was included in the magazine, and also how long ago some of these articles were published. Knock! is currently calling for articles for the second edition (Knock! #2), so it will be interesting to see if they continue publishing the backlog, or focus more on new & original content.
Without further ado, the list:

1. What I Want in an OSR Game: http://swordandscoundrel.blogspot.com/2017/10/what-i-want-in-osr-game.html
2. A Comparison of Old and New D&D: http://the-city-of-iron.blogspot.com/2011/05/comparison-of-old-and-new-d.html
3. Monster Design from Classic: The Lich - https://www.bastionland.com/2018/12/monster-design-from-classics-lich.html
4. Does Energy Drain Suck? - https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/251466/Echoes-From-Fomalhaut-02-Gont-Nest-of-Spies
5. Wizard Weaknesses - http://whatwouldconando.blogspot.com/2016/12/wizard-weaknesses.html
6. Get your Gear! – Random Table
7. The Retired Adventurer Is… - http://whatwouldconando.blogspot.com/2017/07/retired-warriors.html
8. Dungeon Checklist - http://goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2016/01/dungeon-checklist.html
9. What Kids’ RPGs are Missing – Ben Milton / Questing Beast
10. Wandering Monsters Should Have a Purpose in Wandering Around: https://tenfootpole.org/ironspike/?page_id=1201
11. Hit Die Are Meant to be Rolled - based on: http://dragons.ie/thinking-about-hit-dice/
12. 20 Gunpowders – Random Table
13. Naming My Game - http://questingblog.com/adventure-game-vs-os
14. Expose your Prep - https://www.bastionland.com/2018/07/expose-your-prep.html
15. Encourage Scheming - https://www.bastionland.com/2018/09/encouraging-scheming.html
16. Why Setting High Stakes Matters - https://www.failuretolerated.com/why-setting-high-stakes-matters
17. What’s the Deal with Igor’s Hump? - http://talesofthegrotesqueanddungeonesque.blogspot.com/2012/06/whats-deal-with-igors-hump.html
18. Some Ways of Killing D&D People - http://whatwouldconando.blogspot.com/2018/11/some-ways-of-killing-d-people.html
19. “Rulings Not Rules” is Insufficient - http://goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2016/02/osr-style-challenges-rulings-not-rules.html
20. My Goblins Are… - Random Table
21. The Labors of Hercules as OSR Obstacles - http://questingblog.com/the-labors-of-heracles-as-osr-obstacles/
22. What Do the Monsters Want? - https://www.failuretolerated.com/what-do-the-monsters-want
23. Save vs. Actual Death? - https://magickuser.wordpress.com/2019/12/09/save-vs-actual-death/
24. RPGs as Emotional Gambling - http://cavegirlgames.blogspot.com/2019/02/rpgs-as-emotional-gambling.html
25. Leaving Kansas - http://cavegirlgames.blogspot.com/2018/03/leaving-kansas.html
26. The Danger of Skills - http://swordandscoundrel.blogspot.com/2017/10/osr-project-2-danger-of-skills.html
27. 1d6 Thieving - https://tsojcanth.wordpress.com/2010/03/20/1d6-thieving/
28. Duels - http://cavegirlgames.blogspot.com/2018/06/duels-in-osr.html
29. 8 Statues Encounters – Knock! page published here: http://merrymushmen.canalblog.com/archives/2020/01/17/37948151.html (h/t u/WhatDoesStarFoxSay)
30. The Overly Thematic Dungeon - http://beyondfomalhaut.blogspot.com/2017/02/blog-overly-thematic-dungeon.html
31. D12 Dungeon Geniuses - http://roll1d12.blogspot.com/2012/09/dungeon-geniuses.html
32. Better Treasures – based on http://tenfootpole.org/forum/index.php?threads/magic-items.145/#post-2243
33. It’s a Trap! - https://magickuser.wordpress.com/2020/01/01/its-a-trap-to-roll-or-not-to-roll/
34. What Happened in 1266? - http://talesofthegrotesqueanddungeonesque.blogspot.com/2016/09/what-happened-in-1266.html
35. Impact - http://goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2017/10/impact.html
36. My Aesthetic is Pathetic – based on Monster Man podcast: https://www.listennotes.com/podcasts/monster-man/special-episode-the-pathetic-IxKma13Dc_ and this article: http://drbargle.blogspot.com/2013/02/the-old-school-is-pathetic-rant.html
37. D20 Hooks – Random Table
38. D20 Magic Helmets – Random Table
39. The Tapestry and the Mosaic Box - http://beyondfomalhaut.blogspot.com/2018/08/blog-tapestry-and-mosaic-box-on-scope.html
40. Liven Up Those Corridors - http://graphiteprime.blogspot.com/2019/07/liven-up-those-corridors.html
41. 34 Good Traps - https://www.bastionland.com/2018/08/34-good-traps.html
42. Useless Magic Loot - http://elfmaidsandoctopi.blogspot.com/2012/12/useless-magic-loot.html
43. Borderlands - essays on the famous D&D setting by Nicolas Dessaux (Hobgoblin.fr)
44. 8 Variants of the Caves of Chaos – same author as above (Nicolas Dessaux)
45. Monster Derangement Syndrome - http://roll1d12.blogspot.com/2018/09/effects-of-monster-derangement-syndrome.html
46. I Eat the Body - https://magickuser.wordpress.com/2019/12/12/i-eat-the-body/
47. 12 Magic Blades - http://merrymushmen.canalblog.com/archives/2020/01/14/37940358.html
48. Sewers of Misery – Random Tables from Elfmaids & Octopi. All tables organized here: http://mutationapocalypse.blogspot.com/p/blog-page.html
49. Complete the Dungeon
50. Complete the Encounter
51. Just Use Bears - https://talesofthegrotesqueanddungeonesque.blogspot.com/2016/08/just-use-bears.html
52. Map Portfolio
53. New Player Classes
54. New Monsters
55. Adventures

Postscript: I was disappointed to notice a few typos in the magazine during my review for this post. I used the video read-throughs by Questing Beast and Chris McDowall, so I don't have a physical copy, but the errors were still apparent. One example is the sub-header on the "Better Treasure" article, where "worth" is typo'd as "forth." The Table of Contents also doesn't entirely match the actual article titles as published. I hope this is something that the Knock! team improves for their second edition.

1What retiring early is like

It's fucking great.
I wake up happy, I do pretty much whatever I want during the day, I go to sleep happy.
I indulge my limited passions and hobbies, I plunge down fascinating rabbit holes of knowledge, I bugger off to places for months at a time (harder with Brexit, you xenophobic malcontents), I spend time with people I want to. I feel smug.
I don't have an alarm waking me up, I don't need to take any shit off anyone, I don't burn 90 mins a day on a loud bus screeching stop announcements at 90db in my ear.
In the summer I sometimes pop over to the local greenery, have a pint and meal, read a book, soak up the sun. Great stuff.
My phone is always on silent. It can wait.
People occasionally ask me “what I do all day”. If your imagination is so limited, living in such an incredible time, with so much at your fingertips, that the question even crosses your mind, then carry on working and bitching about it, you don't know how to be happy.
“Scipio used to say that he was never less idle than when he had nothing to do “ - Cicero, On Duties.

2How to get there

2.1Difficulty modes

2.1.1Easy mode: Get free university education, get a good job, buy a cheap house

Not too difficult if you were born in 1972. Easy mode is now disabled in the UK. Maybe available in foreign versions of the game, such as in Greece or Denmark.

2.1.2Medium mode: Don't have kids

I swear to god, I have been pretty lucky not to accidentally father a crotch goblin, and believe me, little Goocho often vetoed my brain. Use contraceptives. Notice how all the shit hole countries don't give women control over their reproduction.
If I had foolishly crapped out a kid, I would have had to work another 10 years at least I reckon. Ugh.
Borrow kids to play with them, and return when they start crying.

2.1.3Hard mode: Have kids

Look, if you are spending 100k or whatever to raise a kid I don't know what to tell you, at least you got laid eh?
I hope you enjoy working like I didn't. Seriously, if you have a job you like, great stuff, things will be much easier for you. The impetus to leave it won't be so great. The point of all this is to be happy after all!

2.2Control your costs

Filling your house full of nonsense is consumerism at it's worst.
I practice a kind of minimalism. So I don't own a freezer, a cooker or a dish washing machine. Guess what? They will never need repairing or replacing! But I do own an amazing OLED tv, a solid speaker system, loads of films and books. Minimalism is a whole other subject, and attracts the mentally ill who take it to extremes. Spend money on a decent mattress you fools.
Subscriptions are death by a thousand cuts, and will weigh you down. However Netflix and Amazon Prime are great. Shades of grey.
Screw charities, charity workers get paid salaries and you are supposed to give for free? Nope. Begging scum. “it is only the price of a coffee”, bitch please, I pay 10p a cup for my lovely coffee.
Pay your taxes. Don't be a leech on society.
Live in a small house.
Aldi is great.
If you don't get married, you can't get ruinously divorced, .
Insurance is generally a scam, if you are drunkenly fucking up so regularly than you need your phone insured, sort your life out.
You really need that car? Hmmm. If you are driving to the supermarket and paying for the gym, you are an idiot. Those two cancel each other out.
Only unhappy people play the lottery.
Buy a decent phone for £200, pay £5 a month for service. You think iFruit users will look down upon you? Comparison is the thief of joy.
DIY accomplishments are mentally rewarding, great exercise and cheap – or you can throw money at a problem to make it go away, this is the point of money after all, we sell and buy time with it. Before I buy anything big, I ask myself, is this worth x days sitting in an office for​?
Spend your money how you like, I am not your mum.
Enjoy what you have.

2.3Plan a little

Write down (don't guess) how much you spend a month over a couple of years.
For investments, assume inflation cancels out general increase in non distributing equity value. This is all a rough guessing game anyway, don't pretend it isn't.
I think there are two ways to look at when you can stop working:

2.3.1Cash drawdown per month until death

If you assume you are going to die around 85 (actuarial tables available online), divide your cash + private pension wealth + state pension amount will pay you until age 85 by the number of months left to live, this tells you how much you can spend a month before you die. Sounds like enough? Investment appreciation means you might have more than that.

2.3.2Cash dividends per month

You have a lumpsum of wealth. Flexible uk pension rules means you no longer need to take the annuity gamble. 4% returns a year seems conservatively doable. Can you live on that? Means you die with a load of cash. Stash it in your silk lined coffin.

2.4Play it safe, but not too safe

Assume laws and taxes will change. Don't count too much on that state pension.
If the NHS falls ill itself, you might need some cash to go private. Good luck getting that hip surgery in the next 12 months post covid!
If the stock market takes a 10% dump, you must still sleep soundly. Don't live too close to the edge.
Assume and hope your parents will spend all their wealth on themselves, having a happy end of life in an old folks home. Points off as a human being for relying on your parent snuffing it for free money.
What if your body conks out and you start shitting yourself and have to pay 4k a month to be served Dickensian gruel in a nursing home? Trust in the societal safety net? Work another 5 years just in case? Keep a cyanide pill by the bed? Sell your house I guess? I'm rolling the dice on this one. Maybe dancing in VR and these 50 degree Victorian terrace stairs will keep me fit (or kill me).

2.5Personal Story

Went to Uni, got a Computering degree, got a job I liked, autistic-ally worked at it, got paid lots of money, bought a house at 26 for 48k, parents threw in 10k to get rid of me, paid off the mortgage in 30 months.
After 8 years in said job, started to dislike it, took 6 months off work. Worked another 2 years before I got made redundant, 15k for doing nothing? Yes please!
Worked about half the time from age 32 to 46 as Contractor scum, in jobs I generally disliked or eventually hated. Had 2-3 years between jobs. Snatching retirement chunks from the future. I figured, why leave retirement until I am too old to enjoy it? Took around 3 months to get a new job each time, I didn't care, I loved not working!
Played casino blackjack for a couple of years for ~8 hours a week, made £12k. Shuffling machines have stopped all that now, was bored of it anyway.
Decided at 40 I had better get a pension, threw money at it when working.
So at 46, when I walked out on the pathetic management at my last gig (FIS Birmingham, you see when you are retired, you really don't have to give a shit!), I had worked for a total of ~15 years, thoroughly enjoyed not working and was sick of working.
At 47 I realised maybe I don't actually need another job? Started paying real attention to my finances.
At 48, I have 110k cash & 140k pension = 250k. 4% a year dividends = 10k a year. I can live happily on that.
£800 a month is enough. I spent £350 a month in December and January, had a great time. Will get a PS5 when available, boiler is bound to break eventually. It all evens out.
My state pension fortells a sickly £117 per week. Meh. Forgive me for not factoring that in too much. Who knows where I will be in 20 years? Hopefully sleeping in late without an alarm clock.

Hi DMs!
I'm looking for some gambling mini games for an upcoming casino scene. Issue is, most of the ones I can find suit much better for in person games where they're rolling real dice (like liar's dice, poker and blackjack variants, etc), I can't find much that would suit online play where your rolls are displayed for everyone to see. I know there is an option to hide rolls, but it does lack the final reveal moment that an in person game would have.
Any advice on potential gambling minigames I can run over roll20?

Greetings reddit. I finally managed a the first game of our new season which was a breath of fresh air. Granted it was only the very beginning of the season so far and single game at that, but it was excellent to try the new rules. This is actually a draft for a write up for our league page and after I get the stats and player names in hand I will plug them in and add more small details here and there, but you should get the drift. It was a terribly exciting match and had us sweating bullets for much of it.
Match Report: Comets at Ichor Coughers
It was a beautiful day for the opening game of the second season of TOLL blood bowl. And the weather was perfect. The two teams: The Altdorf Twintail Comets (Human, CTV 995 KGP) versus the Tollheim Ichor Coughers (Vampire, 1000 KGP). DA COMMISH' looked on in pride a single tear rolling down his cheek.
This was also the first game to be played (Officially) on the brand new astrogranite pitch, although judging by the detritus and refuse, it certainly appeared that there had been a few pick up games or at least a small scale brawl before the actual kickoff proper.
Lady VonZasswhippen and Magnus the Magus, coaches of the vampires and humans respectively, look on over the proceedings leading up to the coin toss.
As league tradition dictates, Vampires (IRL Coach: DA COMMISH') may not successfully call any coin toss and the tradition starts strong in season two as the Comets elect to receive the ball at the start of the first half. The ball is kicked deep, and the cheering fans being spurred on strongly by the single cheerleader for the Twintail Comets which was enough to awaken an inner energy in a blessed statue of Nuffle which granted (HUMAN CATCHER PLAYER) confidence and ability beyond what he is used to temporarily gaining the PRO skill for the match. Immediately Doom and Gloom begins to spread around the Vampire bench fearing that Nuffle is against them so soon. But Nuffle giveth and Nuffle taketh away we all know.
Early turns in the half see the Comets grabbing the ball and making quick progress up the pitch almost taking it into the endzone. This "fresh" Vampire team, having not stepped gilded boot onto the pitch in decades or perhaps even centuries(?) spent much of their time raging at the sun when it dared to peek from behind the clouds and their thrall minions as well. Their sheer ferocity left one or two thralls eating dirt and more than a few openings for the quick moving humans who practiced often in the off season, to make progress forward. Luckily their fangs weren't so strong as to do any permanent harm to their semi-willing minions.
The comets do as their name suggests and they speed in taking the biscuit as close to the basket as possible but the vampires, Lord Chesterfield the Emboldened (Vampire Blitzer #1) in particular, mount a last minute defensive assault stopping the rush and even managing to take out the Nuffle-blessed (HUMAN CATCHER) knocking them out cold and loosing the ball in the process. And thus began the scrum to get the ball back.
Humans, despite losing their blessed catcher, press forward and manage to get ahold of the ball in an absolute rush to get to the endzone trips up over his own feet dropping the ball on the line as if each one was a glaring eye of Nuffle themself looking down on the match.
Vampires again recover the ball and begin to sweep back and lay a few key blocks, but the humans continued to fight back. Humans get the ball again, and again in their eagerness to reach the end zone as soon as possible going for it with all their vigor slip up and drop the ball again. Both the Vampires and Nuffle's will playing serious defense and barely keeping up against the relentless assault by the humans.
The Ichor Coughers decide that enough is enough and by now more of the other vampires and thralls have come in to support the assault in the end zone and they begin to push back using the last of their resolves and team training as the game becomes an all out wild show.
Vampires hold on but struggle to gain ground and Altdorf's finest fight back but skulls prevent the way on a key block giving the vampires the desperate chance they need to prevent the touchdown with almost certainty and Nuffle willing, score one of their own!
Lord Chesterfield the emboldened looses an absolute smiting beam of a pass which is almost caught if not for the interference of a human lineman causing a turnover as the final seconds ticked down. But the ball was out of the red zone in either case as the half slowly reaches its conclusion. Humans fight back laying down blocks leaving the vamps only enough wiggle room to throw a single vanity pass for a completion giving (VAMPIRE) the first SPP of the game.
The half closes at a standstill, zero to zero.
Second half opens with a human blitz no doubt feeling like the pressure is on as the ball is kicked to the vampires. They kick it shallow and move in lightning quick managing to recover the ball even before the first turn of the second half. Needless to say the Vampires were stunned as again Nuffle seemed to be showing favor to the humans. But not stunned enough to prevent the will to fight back! The action and excitement of the humans trying to get the ball ended up leaving the ball carrier out in the open. The Vamps didn't waste any time capitalizing on the situation putting the lonesome human down, recovering the ball quickly and getting into an early position.
Humans lay down heavy blocks as thralls are KO'd left and right filling the dugout with unconscious bodies putting immense number pressure on the vampire team, but they still held the ball. For now. Eventually humans come in hot with the blitz and the vampire ball carrier is toppled near the sideline just within the human half of the pitch sending the ball flying as a melee begins to ensue around the ball with vampires, thralls, humans, and an ogre vying for control. Hard pressure from both sides as players pile into the mass of violence.
Vamps being slower to join the fray in support of the previous ball carrier began to slowly push humans towards the sidelines. And (INJURED HUMAN) even ended up in the crowd, no doubt those cheering for the Tollheim Team, dealing grievous injuries which will see (HUMAN) missing the next game. The melee around the ball continued to heat up. Eventually humans break free with a smart pass to an (OPEN HUMAN PLAYER)open player and easily outrun the one or two Thralls outside of the melee and score a quick touchdown. +1 SPP to (PLAYER) and +3 SPP to (PLAYER) for their efforts.
1 to 0, Comets in the lead kicking once again back to the Vampires on their turn 6.
Vamps receive the ball safely and press forward towards the halfway line not wasting any time as the clock is working against them. Despite terrible pressure due to a great number of their knocked out thralls still out cold, they begin to run the ball forward for a final last chance to score before the game ends.
Humans see what is coming and spread their defence out into a wide pattern covering any and all players who could potentially make it into the end zone and receive a pass as the Vampire ball carrier was poised to deliver. The final desperate play for the touchdown involved one Vamp blitzing through his blocker and getting into position to receive the ball. Then the Thrower (VAMP WHO THREW) needed to manage a dodge away from pressure, and maneuvered into throwing position sending another beamer of a miracle pass just between two defenders into the waiting arms of (VAMP WHO SCORED TD) and tie the game on their turn 8. This still left a single turn left for the Comets to do something when the time out whistle was blown during the last kickoff as the ball was a touchback. The match ends in violence despite of it, but nothing came of the senseless(?) violence and the first match is a one one tie. An exciting and wild affair that saw both sides fighting and struggling each turn until the bitter end.
Post Match Reflection: (Epic Ramble warning. TLDR at the end.)
So you can see that it was quite the barn burner. I was playing the vamps and my first turn was a whole lot of failed animal savagery rolls, but I managed to keep it under control and hold off the initial score. Getting blitzed on the second kick off and then subsequently losing like 4 thralls in a row (On my 11 player team!) was absolutely horrendous, but again, I fought through it and Nuffle did me plenty of favors dropping ones and skulls with tremendous timing when my buddy got a little overzealous with his GFI rolls or on super crucial blocks against my ball carrier on one or two occasions.
I remembered why I love the vamps still despite having lots of trepidation with the amount of fuss people were kicking up online. I felt the pain granted, and none of my animal Savagery rolls ended up being fatal so I was certainly lucky in that respect, but more often than not I had one or two vamps standing there without tackle zones when I was getting into crunch time and just needed vamps to go places for the potential gaze. Gaze was crucial, but a gamble all the same. Most enemy players avoided my vamps, even without tackle zones since they are really tough and resource heavy to get 2D blocks on with ST3 people despite being fairly vulnerable. So if a Vamp wasn't really in a strategic spot to intercept blockers, then I would just roll the dice and see if they could squeeze out a gaze, sometimes even after marking two or three other players just to get them in there for the basically free blocks.
AS4+ vs. 2+ is a huge consideration. I am willing to risk the 2+ so once I got vamps deeper within a scrum or group of people I didn't really need to 'babysit' them as much since a 2+ is fairly reliable (Nuffle willing) and usually had one or two team rerolls if I didn't feel like failing and NEEDED that vamp to throw the block. Obviously ST 4 and AG2+ is excellent and they are just so reliable with anything it feels like when they are actually allowed to do things haha.
Managed two accurate passes and caught one of them although I was only 1 off of catching the first attempt which might have swayed the game in my favor honestly. But rerolls got cooked off hella fast. I have 4 RR on this 4 Vamp team and I used them all up by like turn 5 or 6. The multi-RR in a single turn factor is actually quite nice and really lets you make plays when you need them to be made. My friend cooked through his real quick in the first half and he became quite vulnerable to skulls and snakes which ended up biting him a bit. We both learned our lesson a bit and tried to take it easy, but re rolls got used and it was just how it had to be. I was initially very surprised and actually somewhat opposed to the multi-RR per turn change in the rules, but I quite like it now. Also, the humans tossed one 'wildly inaccurate' pass and it ended up deviating only a single square, but if it had been worse would have really changed things. I want to see more of those (From my opponents of course).
Final thoughts:
Vamps rolling a 4+/2+ or knocking down a thrall is what it is. I got lucky and only stunned my thralls, but when the time comes for me to pay the piper no doubt I will have a different opinion on it. Only using them to move/pass/gaze is a part of the game, but that just means you need vamps in good positions from the get go. I ended up putting them on the ends of my LOS so they got those blocks in with a thrall diagonally outside if needed. They put in work on the front line and when bolstered by even one or two other thralls makes for a nice and easy domino effect putting down the opponents whole LOS with reliable two dice blocks.
Vamps failing AS without a thrall is brutal, but not the end of the world. Just gotta know and be willing to take a risk. I did it the first turn to see how bad it really was and had a human catcher moving some obscene amount of squares and pretty much a full cage right past literally my only linebacker because he was mad about blood and sunlight. That sucked, but I bounced back and that same vamp came in for a deadly blitz. Not activating key vamps is still important strategy. I plan on trying to put vamps in position to intercept incoming players like little fly traps and then getting off 'free' blocks since the 2+ isn't as big a risk as the 4+. Honestly, almost treating them like Khemri Tomb Guardians or tree men blocking off the pitch and funneling play into the part of the pitch you want them to go to. Then they blitz/block the ball loose and begin the process of scoring via elf bullshit. (This previous sentence may have just given me my ultimate battle plan going forward and in all honesty is going to become a team mantra. Damn.)
Thralls are done for. But they can throw blocks and should. I need a bench, but made enough cash off the first game so that is easily doable. Thralls that haven't acted yet, but get knocked down, can still get back up! I forgot this until halfway through the game. Take care which way you lay down your 'unactivated, but freshly knocked down' thralls so you don't forget that. It is one of the huge advantages of the new AS knock down style if you don't break armor.
Gaze is still excellent. Use it often if you can spare moving some vamps and have a few thralls at the ready which won't break down your lines of defense/offense. Mentally prepare yourself to just fail the roll everytime and expect thralls to die and then if/when they don't it is just that much better. Then as they break free and go and have fun, thralls race to try and keep up with them. Instead of thralls preceding vampire actions going where they want to be after taking actions, now thralls are playing catch up chasing down vamps after they do their action giving a little more leeway in placement. Thralls that were chasing a "run & gaze" vamp who finally finds some blocking chances can now help out another Vamp who has found themselves left behind or stuck without a tacklezone offering their precious bodies to get them back in.
Thoughts about BB20 in general: Love the multi rerolls. Love the smooth pre and post game phases. Winnings and skilling up awesome. Made tons of cash off of a draw and a single TD each. Enough to buy a new thrall and potentially a cheerleader. Or maybe just get an Apo. Scored a single TD, and two Completions, that with the MVP ended up allowing two of my players to roll a random primary skill up. Buying a another player and skilling up two players after a single game? That is unheard of in the games I play in. This edition is already packing my treasury (As if I would allow it!) and skilling my players up adding great flavor to them, although I am not happy about a 'sure feet' vampire, a thrall with 'kick' will no doubt allow me loads more control going forward. And for ONLY a 10K bump each. When we get a few more games in the inducements are going to be wild. Prayers to nuffle came up in a kickoff result giving pro to his catcher for the game, but I KO'd him right away and that was pretty much that for the game. Still a thrill to see. I am very impressed and pleased with the new edition so far, especially with league play and the post game sequence and what that implied for games going forward. I used to lament silently that it felt like forever to gain even enough SPP to do anything as even getting MVP meant I needed at least one more SPP to skill up before, whereas now my dumb thrall gets MVP (Random is legit imo) and I can roll a random primary skill for them. (As if I would go out of the way to pay more spp/wait/bloat my team for a dumb thrall. The thrall was born to die!) Can't beat that man. Making me care about thralls (At least one of them) is a feat in itself.
Best tie game I have played since the conclusion of the previous season! And offers a lot of promise into the matches going forward for the league. If you managed to read all this by all means comment or ask a question since I am clearly happy to discuss at length about it!
TLDR; Treat vamps like Khemri Tomb Guardians or Fling tree men blocking off portions of the pitch (Or catching fools in their tackle zones) and funneling play into the part of the pitch you want them to go to. Then they blitz/block the ball loose and begin the process of scoring via elf bullshit. Anticipate thralls eating it and treat them not as a gift of nuffle. Rolling AS2+ is riskable without a thrall, while AS4+ is more risky. Don't forget to activate knocked down thralls who only didn't get their armor broken!

This sub is innundated ad nauseum with fantastic ideas for new content that would help refresh this game we all love, everything from captaincy updates (yes pls) to new Tall Tale ideas, Wrold Events, Boss encounters, and more. But one thing I think that would bring a ton to the minute-to-minute mundanity of the game, specifically in those down time minutes is table games in taverns or on ships.
There is a historical basis for games played on sailing ships, as well as dozens of card/dice/table game systems in lots of popular video games, including ones similar to SoT like Read Dead Online.
The games can also be adopted in-game as a reward as well. The system I envision is a side quest handled by the various tavern-keepers around the SoT. The Keeper will have a specific game that they want to bring to the tavern but don't have the rules sheet/dice/game board etc. They charter you to find them, and in exchange you unlock the game for yourself and your crew to play in the tavern and on board your ship.
On your ship, after you unlock your first game you unlock a new addition to all your ships: a games table, where much like voyages your crewmates who want to play can vote to play any of the games you've had unlocked. You could even add a bit of gambling to the mix, with small gold wagers being added to spice things up (never game-breaking amounts, but enough to keep things interesting).
I envision this system being most used during long ocean voyages, particularly merchant ones or the emissary quests where you spend a LOT of time sailing from island to island, or across wide swaths of ocean where there isn't much to do but stand watch, trim sails, fish, or play instruments. Thats a handful for 1-2 players depending on the ship but on a 4 person galleon theres often lots of downtime between locations. You could also play other crews in games in the taverns, potentially for larger amounts of gold or even specific loot wagers like mermaid gems or captains chests or the like.
Games would obviously need to be playable with at least 2 people, but some examples include Liars Dice; Crown and Anchor; Uckers, as well as your usual poker or even checkers/chess!

This is a depiction of a typical day where I am severely lacking rest and cynical about online UCLA. Nothing out of the ordinary. I wonder if any of you relate. Let me know if you do.
Enjoy I guess lol
My first memory of the day is the blur of my miserable phone screen; me straining to read the time, me scrambling to switch off the alarm, me cursing in my head for the obligatory morning headache.
When my inner tirade about waking up is over, I take another look at my phone because my brain obviously didn't register what time it is the first time I checked.
Nine...
Nine thirty-five...
Huh. That's a nice number.
Nine thir—?! F***!!!
I go off on another inner tirade and almost slam my foot against the corner of the wall jumping out of bed. As I leap down the stairs I tell myself I hope there hasn't been a clicker question already.
My laptop can't be slower to boot up. I imagine a million different Shakespearesque insults for its speed and meanwhile let my muscle memory fly through Chrome, CCLE, the also-slow-as-heck Duo 2FA app, and Zoom.
"You run thyself more sluggishly than a goodly rotten Cupertinoan Apple," I mutter at my computer as I put on my earphones.
"This meeting is being recorded."
I sigh. "Whatever."
My professor is in the middle of going over logistics of the next few days for the class. Phew, no lecture content missed yet. No clicker questions, either. My classmates almost all have their cameras off; the seemingly endless array of high-school-portrait-like profile pictures or ALL CAPS NAMES stared back at me.
"Today is really not the day," I think, my mind still clogged with the exhaustion from yesterday's share of Zoom University.
I check GroupMe to see i have 317 notifications across more than a reasonable number of group chats. I am thoroughly annoyed, and a slight anxiety creeps in that those notifications are for a quiz or homework assignment that I completely missed. I would later find out that, surely enough, I completely forgot an assignment due last night, but that is a grievance for later. I scroll through all of the new messages without reading them just to clear the notification bubble.
The professor's voice is hardly a whisper in my ear at this point. I open a browser and play my obligatory chess game against a computer—my personal favourite way to ignore lecture when there is nothing important going on. I crush the AI that supposedly has 300 rating points more than me despite me using the disadvantageous Ware opening as white. Unamused, I see that a clicker question is open, and choose an answer that seems reasonable. It is less than fifteen minutes into lecture and I am already dozing off.
The lecture proceeds unceremoniously, with students bugging the professor in the chat with questions that (1) are blatantly answered in the syllabus, (2) were explained no more than 10 seconds ago, or (3) have literally nothing to do with the class. My notebook lies in front of me, its only evidence of use being today's date scrawled on the top line. It otherwise lies empty—a canvas waiting to be painted on, a jungle waiting to be explored, a story waiting to be told. But alas, it is merely a college student's underused notebook which, like yesterday, will likely go untouched. I realize then that I have done more writing on my planner for my next assignments than on my notebook. Hilarious.
My next lectures are just as unmotivating, sapping energy but yielding no returns. If my life was the show Shark Tank, the investors would scoff at me and say "I'm out" before I could even make the complaint that I am tired. That's alright. I'll find someone else to pay me zero dollars for a 100% equity in my entrepreneurial scheme of converting time into exhaustion.
It is 3:00 PM. I realize I haven't eaten yet because I had zero worthwhile gaps between my classes the whole day and I woke up too late to snag anything before my first lecture. And yet, I do not feel hungry. My mental chemical balance is so degraded I cannot feel hunger as intensely as I should. Instead my inner alarm screams "SLEEP! SLEEP! SLEEP!" endlessly; rather charming, I'd say.
My last lecture is over but my grievances do not end there. I don't even try to think about all of the BS assignments I have due by the end of the day. In a stroke of ironic revelation I laugh at how as a high schooler I went on Khan Academy at the cost of no dollars to get practice on algebra, while now as a college student I go on arguably worse hodge-podge collections of websites for $5K to "learn."
"Learn." What a concept. I try to remember a single fact from any class I took last quarter. "...Well, I learned I clearly cannot manage my time better at home compared to on campus."
I wave my metaphorical white flag of surrender for the day and let out a long, satisfying yawn. It's mid-afternoon but my immune system believes I am currently in the Greenwich timezone. It's really a wonder that I have not caught COVID from my likely seriously compromised bodily health. I make a silent bet to myself that I'll go to sleep at 4 AM that night, all things considered. Who knows how much homework I have? It's a roll of the dice every day. A new gamble every time I log into CCLE. A lottery ticket of no wins and all losses of unpredictable degrees.
Degrees. Things UCLA students apparently strive for. Apparently with enough money down the chute and enough non-UCLA-affiliated crash course videos to boost your short-term understanding, you can snag one. It's a bit of an urban myth. You forget degrees exist until the day before you even get one.
I lean my head and crack my neck and spine. Love that feeling. "Time to take a nap," I say, entirely ignoring the behemoth that is schoolwork that I already know is ahead of me. I fear no behemoth. For now.
I crawl back into bed, sun still high above the horizon, and ignore my ever more confused immune system. It's good to be a virtual Bruin.
I fall back asleep in total peace.
I'd like to note that not all days are like this. I do have good days and I am not a naturally pessimistic human being. I'm actually far more optimistic by nature! This is simply a more-than-ordinary occurrence that I wanted to describe in my own words and record for my future self (and any intrigued readers) to parse through. I don't get to journal or write a lot nowadays because I simply don't have time to, so this was a nice vent. I killed two birds with one stone, having finally ranted to myself and also having revisited my love of language and narrative. (And yet I'm a math major. Whaaaaat?)
If anyone else can relate to the above, hang in there! Reach out if you need to lean on someone, and remember to take care of yourself. Cheers! :)

Hello! First time post here. I've read all the other stories so I'm inspired to tell my own. No, it's not as dramatic as table-flipping players or as interesting as DMs inserting their particular romantic tastes onto the group, but it's nonetheless a cautionary tale for players and DMs.
​
Setting: This game was conducted years ago around 2014 on Roll20. I was just a college kid and I didn't know anyone IRL that was interested in a more serious game. (I'm all for tomfoolery and murderhobo shenanigans, but my friend group made purely meme characters, such as a Cyborg Rocky Balboa and a runaway slave barbarian from the Pizza Pits.) I was on the hunt for something Warhammer 40,000 related, as I've tried Dark Heresy and I enjoyed DMing that. But I just wanted to play. Eventually, after many applications, I did find a group for Only War, a more 'military grunt' style of playing where you're one of millions in the Imperial Guard Army in space (for those unfamiliar)! Introductions were made, character sheets made and approved, and I was eagerly looking forward to it. There were 5 people total in this group and we spoke over voice chat.
DM, a player who I'll refer to as Commando as he played as the weapon specialist, and two players who both were "Operators" (pilots or drivers for the many vehicles in the game). As they worked in tandem within the same vehicle I'll call them Operator Gunner and Operator Driver. Finally there was myself. Hearing that the others were a weapon specialist and the other two were vehicle operators, I wanted to be the Techpriest (because 40,000 years in the future you need a priest to say a prayer to the spirits in the light switch to activate the blessed bulb). I was hyped to play.
Heads up: There were no arguments, and my expectations were not HIGH, mind you. I know that it's a gamble what you'll get with a random group online, but I couldn't help but be excited to play, and all the players seemed mature and knew their stuff!
​
Finally, let's get to the story.
The DM introduces Commando and Myself to the local officer in a camp on a far off jungle world filled with old ruins from human settlers thousands of years before. The camp is bustling with activity as the Imperial Guard rush about preparing to deal with the planetary threat; Orkz. (For the unaware, Orkz are big bulky green gorillas that talk in cockney accents and chop you with their big 'Choppaz!' and outnumber you 100:1)
The officer calls for the Operators to join us in his tent, wherein he states we'll be assigned to work with them as a squad and head the attack on a nearby Ork stronghold. Turns out that while the Commando and Myself are just joining, DM and Operators have been playing these sessions up to six times now. Which may explain the next few things.
We're told that the attack will be in a week and the DM states that if we'd like to roleplay or do anything in that week then we may. Roleplay! Awesome, that's my jam. Though, being new, I waited for my party to say something first. Insert one actual, literal solid minute of awkward silence. I stated that I'd like to take a look at the Operators' vehicle, to see if I can tune it up, and also to know what I would be working with (clarification; Operators in this universe know how to drive the machines, but not how to actually repair it or how it runs in detail, that's my job as a Techpriest). Operator Driver is still awkwardly silent, but he's not afk as we can still hear him doing things at his desk over the mic. Operator Gunner eventually gives me the go ahead, and the DM pulls up the document about the vehicle for me to look at.
Redflags inbound. And to make it clear; I'm not a Lore-Nazi. If it makes the game fun, I'm up for a little lorebending. But I'd also like to be told ahead of time if something is practically lore breaking.
I read the document. "Vehicle: War Walker". I hesitated a moment. I haven't heard of that vehicle before OOCly so I asked the party what a War Walker was? Was it like the common Sentinels? (Humanity's own two legged tanks). The DM replied no, it was a completely new machine. This was a major issue already as in the setting 'new machines' are anathema. Techpriests are heavily NOT for inventing new machines and just keeping the current ones repaired, and it's actually heresy (the kind you get executed for) to go about making new machines, especially without permission. The only thing worse than inventing new machines would be to use ALIEN machines. BUT... Like I said, lorebending for fun? That's alright. So I just keep quiet about it and try to get more details since this is an entirely new vehicle to me. I ask for what weapons it has, if it has had any issues before, if there's anything they'd like me to tune up, and for a visual of it.
They send me a picture of a War Walker. Turns out it wasn't an invented, new machine. It is the other War Walker in lore. An ALIEN war walker. EXTREME heresy. Internally I'm thinking 'oh okay they're just using a picture it's not actually an Eldar vehicle, right?'. To allay my fears I half-jokingly speak up , stating "Woo! Looks like an Eldar walker. I can still work with that." To which Operator Driver finally replied "Yeah, we took the War Walker from the Eldar and we jurry rigged it ourselves to work."
And there goes hope of the theme's setting having any impact. STILL, I stay quiet, and I 'tune it up'. The DM is lacking in telling me what I accomplish other than "you gave it a +1 to accuracy against flying targets".
The next HOUR OF GAMEPLAY is awkward silence. I try sparking conversation, offering to talk to others or to fiddle with their guns and add attachments or tune up. They all pass. During this very awkward hour it seems like some were watching youtube, and two players were (noisily) eating chips or something crunchy in the background.
​
Then the DM finally moves the scene along. "It's been a week, and it's time to assault the Ork Fort!" Now to be fair this next part was entertaining, as we all got together, looked a map of the area, and planned out our assault. This was the kind of thing I wanted. Roleplaying as a tactical unit, having to think out our attack, and then preforming it!
Operators would storm the front of the Ork Fort with their War Walker followed by two squads of guardsmen. I, as the Techpriest, would stick close to them and keep an eye on their machine and give firing support with my gun-arms sprouting from my back. Commando would take another squad down south along up a hill and start laying fire from his suped up sniper rifle. The objective was simple; kill all the Orkz. Easy peasy.
Turns out it was too easy, but only for one part of our group.
We begin the assault, initiative goes Commando, Operators (since they were BOTH in the machine they counted as one turn), Myself, Guardsmen, then the hundreds of orkz inside.
The commando moves and gets 1/3 of the way to the hill. Ends his turn.
The Operators move... and manages to not only reach the Fort with EXTREME speed in a single turn but still have the chance to unleash a salvo of missiles that went about destroying the Orkz guarding the two towers by the gate, and the gate itself. The guardsmen squads and myself are way in the back and it would take us three whole turns to catch up. The DM proceeds to roll for each individual ork, and the Operators roll for each individual damage. 23 orkz, in total, dies. The whole process takes 20 mintues.
My turn. Already seeing that this will not go so great I tell the guardsmen to hurry ahead while I try to go around the side of the fort and deal with any escaping greenskins. I make it 1/3 of the way.
Guardsmen's turn. They move.
Orkz' turn. Proceed with another 20 minutes of Every Single Ork in the Fort mobilizing and charging at the lone War Walker. And not a single attack made against the machine actually damages it.
Commando's turn. He keeps moving. He's 2/3 of the way to the hill now.
Operators' turn. They now are in the MIDDLE of the Fort. Their turn started (and I still remember this clearly) at 4:30pm on my clock. The driver makes evasive moves and rams into structures or other Ork vehicles like Wartrukz. The gunner uses FIVE WHOLE DIFFERENT WEAPONS on the Orkz. Missile salvo. Laser cannons. Bolter cannons. Plasma Cannon. And an Autostubber (basic machinegun). I don't even know how any walker can carry that much. Once again, dice rolls everywhere. The sound of so many virtual dice being rolled over and over again prompted me to lower my volume. Eventually the DM describes that almost half of the Orkz are dead or dying. I looked at the clock.
5:20pm.
A single turn took almost an hour, and no one else has even participated. I remained quiet, as did Commando, and we took our turns. Commando reached the hill due to crits on his acrobatics skills and managed to kill two orkz on a turret. I managed to get to the door. The Guardsmen are still trying to catch up, and the Orkz are still firing on the War Walker. One does manage to get a lucky shot on it with a rocket launcher, but it hardly hurt the Operators.
It was the Operators turn again. A repeat of their last turn occurred, this time only lasting THIRTY minutes, and the fighting was over. When it was my turn again I opened the side gate to see everything on fire and green bodies everywhere. Internally sighing, I took it onto myself to RP again and call HQ to let them know the mission was a resounding success.
The debrief was lackluster as Commando and myself were pretty tired, and the Operators didn't seem into it since they returned their silence like earlier, so the DM called it a night.
There were no future games with them, as it seemed that the DM just up and vanished from Roll20 and no one reached out. This really shot my interest in playing any Only War games, or even any games on Roll20 again, for a while. Thankfully a few months later I gave Only War another shot and actually found an AMAZING game that lasted a few sessions.
So there you go. Not all bad games are dramatic. Some are just really, really, reeaallllyy drawn out and more powerfantasy in the not-so-fun way.

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**** * ****
Hussein nudged his brother Iqbal and aimed his chin toward the bar. “Look, a fat, stupid American has finally managed some success.”
Iqbal smirked, “It is the only way the infidels can succeed. They have no education and no skills to do anything useful. They don’t even worship their own God anymore, only money and fame. They will soon learn better…”
The brothers were out enjoying a night of revelry, with a few more planned when they reached the city. The celebrations were a last reward before they fulfilled their mission and achieved True Paradise through martyrdom. Hussein was superstitious and hoped to find success at gambling before they took the great risk that if successful, would help to sustain their cause. They’d grown up in this land of debauchery and foolishness but had been taught from the first to honor their own Beliefs and culture above anything the Americans professed.
Hussein was on roll number five of what he intended to be a short run. He wished to win five times for the Five Pillars of Islam, the name of his cell in the latest great Jihad. He blew on the dice and tossed. The small cubes bounced against the back side of the pit and tumbled end over end as he watched breathlessly. “Another ten!” the barker called. And pushed the winnings toward Hussein. He placed a minimum bet and rolled once more. He had already left the table before the barker called, “Snakeyes! Next roller please.”
He held up his chips triumphantly, “Iqbal, more money from roll number five! I kept the bet in place for five rolls, I left only the minimum for the last roll, it is a Sign! We are fated to succeed. We will meet the others tomorrow, go over the plan, and then have a few last nights to revel in this world…”
Iqbal patted his brother on the shoulder, “There is something I would like more than winning chips. He nodded toward the bar and the attractive and sinuous young local who worked behind it, steadily polishing glasses.
Hussein watched for a moment, unsure whether his brother meant the alcoholic drinks that had been forbidden until now or the woman. Knowing Iqbal, he assumed both. “As you wish brother. Take your mortal enjoyments while you can. She looks a little sullen though, frown, lowered brows, I like the happy ones.”
Iqbal’s serpent-like smile widened, “She will look better when I have freed her from the miseries of the uncircumcised. She will enjoy a real man. Who knows? Maybe I will convert her so that we can meet again in Paradise.” With that, he surged away from his brother and slithered up to the bar opposite the young First Nations maid. “Good evening, I noticed that you do not have many customers at the bar. It seems odd that so beautiful a creature as yourself would not attract more company.”
The woman ignored him, intently focused on her task. He tried again, “Perhaps I must order a drink to remain at the bar? If so, a gin and tonic if you please.”
She continued to polish the glass. He leaned forward, “Did you hear me?” he inquired in an annoyed tone. “Perhaps you have no business because you are surly and unhelpful.”
She looked at him and delivered a smirk that appeared to be far more evil than anything he could ever hope to muster, despite his thin, reptilian lips and predatory mind, “We don’t want customers to linger at the bar, getting drunk and building from misery to anger over their losses. We want them playing… and losing.” She leaned toward him and glared into his own eyes that he normally considered flinty and daunting. “You know about losing, don’t you?”
Hussein noted that the large man at the end of the bar in the “Security” shirt had begun stumping toward them. “Iqbal, perhaps it is time to go look for other entertainment.”
Iqbal ignored him, he was trapped in the serpent’s gaze, like a mouse dropped into a snake’s tank to be devoured while its owner watched with perverse interest. Hussein reached for his brother to tug at his arm but never got the chance. The big security officer seized his hand, drew it to his too wide chest and turned. The weight of the man drew him away from his brother and caused him to spin around so that he ended up facing the goon with his brother beyond the man and in the clutches of the Serpent Woman. The ham-fisted gargantuan continued to twist the hand he gripped until the pressure caused Hussein sever pain. He grunted and bent into the angle of his wrist to relieve the distress. He found himself bent forward and looking up desperately toward the man’s face.
The security staffer smiled, his square, blunt teeth showing dark behind an almost lipless mouth. His wide back and chest, covered in body armor under his shirt made him appear like a monster-sized… Turtle. Hussein felt himself lifted and placed behind the bar. His brother soon slithered over the top and fell to the floor beside him, smiling beatifically. Hussein opened his mouth to scream for help, but a large, blunt fist crashed into the side of his head and he saw stars… seven of them, like the Holy... The fist descended once more, and he saw only darkness.
**** * ****
Fr. Danilo Bayani was immensely enjoying his latest trip to the continental USA. He had visited Hawaii many years ago, and New York City more recently, but this was his first tour of the grand landbound spaces that this country offered. He’d managed to roam so far from his origins in Manila. Now, in his twilight years, he longed to see what he could of God’s Green Earth. All on the payroll of The Vatican while they cleanse the records of those hateful… allegations. The bitter thoughts raced across his mind. Of course he was a sinner, he was only mortal. He’d been expiated of those sins and had paid an enormous price to continue serving in his capacity as a parish priest. He forced his mind to return to the moment and more enjoyable pursuits.
He noted the hirsute and similar appearing pair of men who had gone to the bar and wondered why the Security officer approached them, but his attention was called once more to the round of Texas Hold’em and his table mates. When he again had a moment to look, no one was at the bar, in front or behind… curious, he thought, but he quickly refocused his attention on the fascinating new game he was in the process of learning. He was familiar with Poker, so it wasn’t difficult to learn. He liked the high level of interaction that this version of the old game allowed. He’d done well, certainly gained enough to fund extracurricular activities during the rest of his current sabbatical.
He’d been disturbed by the overall atmosphere of this place when he’d arrived. He did not care for the numerous paintings and sculptures of Ancient Native Deities and Spirits. They seemed to be mostly images of the Dark Beings of various Tribal cultures. He loved to study diverse cultures, but this place was an amalgamation of cultures, built for mutual support by several Tribes in the region. Much of the artwork was schlocky and clearly intended to cater to the garish and sordid tastes of the vapid gambling set. Some part of him did not feel… welcome, as though he had intruded on some private Place, set aside for Other Gods.
He shook off the depressing musings… There are NO Other Gods, he reassured himself. He soon stepped away from the table to take care of personal needs and to decide what he should do with the rest of his night. Perhaps he would visit the White Dove Restaurant & Ballroom on the other side of the hotel lobby from the casino. It boasted a good reputation according to online reviews, even though it was a simple buffet style with a dance floor to one side. He liked the name, it was… peaceful he decided.
He soon had a selection of food piled onto a plate and was seated near the dance floor. The place was sparsely occupied, so his hopes of being able to watch dancers as he ate were dashed. Still, the food was good enough. A little bland, but that was necessary in a place that acted as a crossroads of cultures. There was a spice table at the end of the primary row of entrees. He’d helped himself, yet nothing seemed to attach to his taste buds. The combination of eating nearly alone, having no one with energy around him, and the tasteless food soon had him growing restless. He finished up his repast and left the table to go out to the final section of the complex he had not visited, the River Overlook.
As he passed the table nearest the entrance, he saw a stout man in a rumpled sport coat, who glared daggers at him, eyes focused on his crucifix, the only outward sign of his profession. The man appeared to be so hostile, that he paused for a moment to determine whether he’d done anything to offend the fellow. “Excuse me sir, have I offended you in some way?”
The man looked startled. He was apparently unused to being confronted about his demeanor or behavior. He scowled, “Don’t like that thing you have around your neck. You Catholics are all Hell-bound. No concept of righteousness. Not that you’d understand, you people don’t even read The Book. You listen to your priests and pope and disregard The Word. All the kneeling and ritual prayers in the world won’t save you in the end. Go back to your idols and beads and leave me alone to seek Heaven.”
Fr. Bayani was startled by the vehemence with which the man spoke. He hadn’t been attacked directly for his Faith in years. “Sir, I’m not sure what Religion you practice, but I am a man of God, a consecrated priest of the Holy Church. I assure you that I understand more than most, if not as much as I would like. I meant no harm and wish you a peaceful night.”
With that, he started to walk past the man, but the man rose from his table and pointed his finger, “Your pope is the Anti-Christ, and your Church is a place of Satan! Look to the Bible for your salvation before it’s too late.”
Fr. Bayani increased his pace and continued on his journey to the River Overlook. He would need the peace and tranquility that nature and the sound of flowing water would provide to settle his roiling mind.
**** * ****
Pastor Bill resumed his seat and shook his head, “Fool, doesn’t know that he’s risking his soul, courting Damnation.” He’d had a bad run at the tables over at the casino. His Denomination frowned on games of chance, but he had needed the money. One of his congregation had come up pregnant and they had to get it resolved before the three-month deadline for abortions. He knew that if his wife found out about Carmen, then she would divorce him. He was here to break every major rule that he professed to hold dear each week. His plan for quick money had failed, so he’d visited the bar. Now he hoped that eating would guide him back to sobriety. He had to think of another plan.
Seeing that… priest had annoyed him. Had he not been inebriated, he would never have said what he did, nor stared so rudely in the first place. Yet he wanted someone on whom to vent the anger he felt, that arose from fear and he’d always disliked the papists. If his wife divorced him, if the scandal involving the woman who cleaned the church all week and then occupied the back pew every Sunday ever broke; he would lose his ministry, his livelihood. His degree in Theology would be worthless. He might be able to get a job teaching, at some secular school, but most would not hire fervent Christians like himself.
He stared dejectedly at his plate of food that had contained more spice and flavors than he liked, a shadow passed in his periphery. It was low-slung and blurred just a bit as it loped along the wall. He thought he heard an odd laugh, somewhere between human and… canine? Maybe a little like a hyena might sound, or so he imagined. There was a manic quality to the laughter. A jest that was on him so that only the other Entity knew what it was. It was the wicked laughter of children at play, who’d decided to target a fat kid with glasses. A kid whose parents had been abusive addicts but who later “got right” through religious-based recovery programs. Their faith had led him to his own, but he’d never really lost those early traumas of being unaccepted by his peers and being beaten by people who later professed faith above all.
A mocking whine, definitely doggish, his now sobering consciousness informed him. Something was making fun of him, teasing him from the shadows. He looked around for staff members or other customers but found himself alone. The dining area and the dance floor were deserted. It was odd, there was almost always someone at the buffet service tables. He looked over to the kitchen doors in hopes that one of the employees would burst through with a fresh serving of chicken wings or whatever tray had been emptied. He saw dark figures move past the clouded round windows on the swinging doors and temporarily occlude the bright kitchen lights within, but they were indistinct blobs, and appeared to be focused on tasks of their own choosing rather than service of his needs.
He stood and realized that he was more intoxicated than he’d realized. He immediately resumed his seat and bent forward to regain his balance and bearings… and to swallow his rising gorge. When he sat up again, a dark, shaggy form perched in the chair across from him. The figure was no more than a silhouette, a raggedly hewn shadow. Yet there were eyes. Sinister golden gleams appeared and blinked at him. He heard a heavy, panting sort of breathing and a gust of foul-smelling carnivore breath assaulted his olfactory senses. “Who? Er, what are you doing at my table?” he asked in a mushy, confused manner. Still fighting off waves of nausea.
He could not see it very well in the poorly illuminated dining room, but his impression was that the... Being… smiled at him: a gaping, lolling smile, with a tongue dangling out to one side and sharp canines gleaming. “I thought I would check on you my righteous friend. You seem to be upset, unhappy. You nipped and barked at that other person who shares your Faith. I thought perhaps there was a deeper concern preying on your conscience?”
Pastor Bill had to force himself to think through what this… person? Had said to him. Likely some hippie-dippy weirdo. “That guy was a Catholic priest, we’re nowhere near the same Religion.”
Once more he heard the chortling laughter that was now very clear, “I’m sure you think it’s different. Those of his specific religion, came to these lands many years ago. They were the first of you Christians to arrive. The rest have been simple variations on a theme. The problems began, when your co-religionists assumed that only your God exists; that all of the local Gods and Spirits were instead Demons and Dark Powers. Instead of trying to show that yours is a better Way, you Christians insisted that yours is the only Way. You’ve forgotten that in Ancient Times, people held True to Deities who were attached to local communities or to the land and features around them; geographically and ethnically relevant. You have gone from subsuming and incorporating Older Gods as Angels and Saints, to Demonizing Them, and now in your hubris, to denying Them altogether.” He shook His head. “Too bad really, it creates an Adversarial relationship.” He chuckled at some joke that Pastor Bill was still too drunk to comprehend.
Pastor Bill had grown increasingly fearful as the Voice intoned Its Philosophies. He wanted to refute that Voice, to deny Its very Existence. Yet he feared Its Wrath more than anything he’d ever feared, even the Fires of Hell. Instead of making a stand and arguing his faith, he staggered to his feet and ran, stumbled, blindly toward the kitchen and the pale, ghostly figures within. Surely someone within would save him! The sardonic laughter chortled after him and chased him into the too bright lights, descending into the yips and howls of Coyote even as the doors swung shut behind him. He looked around at the glowing white figures who halted in their various progresses to stare at him. Their eyes! There were none, just empty sockets, faces slack, with gaping, lamprey maws. He heard a new sound as they swarmed him… his own forlorn screams of ultimate agony.
**** * ****
Fr. Bayani stood out on the River Overlook platform and enjoyed the solitude that had so recently left him restless. There were plenty of noises out across the flowing torrent: the water itself, as it passed over hidden objects, fish as they leapt from its embrace to kiss the night air, frogs and insects, and the warbling, mournful sounds of a loon, and the soft sigh of the wind as it passed through the verdant landscape. This is much more peaceful than the White Dove he thought. He had some trouble shaking off ruminations on the verbal assault from the strange, possibly drunken man in the restaurant. He decided that he would pray for the man, that he would one day soon find The True Faith. Sometimes that was all one could do for the short-sighted.
He heard a deep, coughing hiss out in the dark. He was startled but quickly realized that it was an American Alligator, cousin to creatures he had observed in many places around the planet. He was truly content, at one with Nature in all Her Glory… in all the natural splendor of Creation! he immediately corrected himself. A sound impinged on his senses as it slowly rose and obscured the others… it was a lapping sound at first, more like ocean waves on a beach than the banks of a river. Waves, at cross purposes to the flow of the river, slapped at the base of the platform. Soon they sounds evolved into splashes, as if something very large approached the River Overlook platform. He leaned over the rail to have a closer look. Perhaps it was a large water creature or a boat… maybe a ‘gator as the locals called the big reptiles.
He peered down at the dim rippling surface below. At first, he was unable to discern anything but small reflections on the water as it swirled and lapped; then from below the surface, he spotted an eye, a too large eye! It glowed from within with a sickly luminescence akin to that produced by deep growing fungi. As he stared in horror, he saw a mouth gape below the eye, and enormous frog-like opening with no teeth but serrated lips, like some monstrous catfish. As he stared, too much in shock to act, he suddenly felt his body wrapped in strong, leprous flesh and he quickly lost his ability to breathe. The last sight he saw before he plunged over the safety rail was the thin, grey, first light of dawn.
**** * ****
Chief Harry Whitehorse gazed around at his fellow chiefs and Shamans from various local Tribes, “So, are The Dark Ones satisfied once again? Have They sated their appetites on strangers so that our peoples will be safe for another year?”
Affirmative rumbles muttered around the conference room. Red Wolf, a Shaman, spoke from near the back row, “They are not only satisfied but Coyote assures us that the prey people will not be linked with our premises or business operations.”
Most of the fresh mutters sounded pleased, but old Harry had to ask, “Can we trust Him?”
Chortling laughter sounded throughout the conference room and ascended into thunderous yips and howls of hysterical glee.

Hi, I'm a mapler who played on Bera on GMS in the mid to late 2000s as a Ice Lightning mage. I think the period I played was called "pre-big bang"?
TLDR: I want to know what to do with old quest items, random untradeable stuff, how to upgrade equipment, where/how to sell things and where to train + more (but those are the main questions!)
To mods: lol btw I've mislabelled my title. If a mod would kindly help me edit it, I'd like it to say "GMS Mapler, I/L Mage from Bera Server from mid-2000s exploring and in need of assistance"
Detail:
I've logged back in after many years to see what was going on, and geez, it is soooooooo different. I've got so many questions. I hope some people can assist.
My inventory is crazily full and I don't know what to do with half my stuff... but I'd like to clear some of them so I've got space to actually do stuff. I'm gonna post my list of questions below, but first, a list of items. I'd just like some advice on what to do with them, and whether there's any value.
First, I'd like some advice on what to do with these items:
Equip

1. Beryl Suit
2. Beryl Boots
3. Dragon Kanzir
4. Red Osfa Hat
5. Eclectic Presto
6. Red Hunter Gloves
7. Blue Czar
8. Bosshunter Gi
9. Dark Manute
10. Pure Gold Engine
11. Purple Mystra
12. Black Neos Pants
13. Red Craven
14. Blue Snowshoes
15. Dark Seraphis

.. and what do people usually do with all their untradeable stuff that is not relevant/applicable to their character??
Use

1. Portable Seisomograph - I recall this had something to do with Omega Sector?
2. Creep Cards (I've got a Red Kentaurus and Brown Teddy cards)
3. Medal of Honor (untradeable)
4. [Mastery Book] Paralyze 20
5. Refined Magnifying Glass (untradeable)
6. Ability Circulator (untradeable) - what on earth is this? It sounds like you're gambling with your stats?!
7. Pinnacle Scroll for Two-Handed Weapon for Magic ATT 20% (untradeable) - ok, I know scrolls do, but.. any value? what do people do for equip and upgrading these days?

Etc.

1. [Quest Item] Ludibrium Medal
2. [Quest Item] Lisa's Recommendation
3. [Quest Item] Heroic Pentagon
4. [Quest Item] Ominous Wooden Relic
5. [Quest Item] Cinammon Chai
6. Basic Spell Essence
7. Fine Spell Essence
8. Magic Note (untradeable)
9. Leopard Stripe Ticket Piece (untradeable)
10. Leopard Spot Ticket Piece (untradeable)
11. Dark Tachion
12. [One-of-a-kind Item] Papulatus Certificate (untradeable)
13. Spell Trace
14. Kaleido Spinner Coupon (untradeable)
15. Artisan Kaleido-Spinner Coupon (untradeable)
16. Mana Crystal
17. Alchemist Stone
18. [One-of-a-kind Item] Time Traveler's Pocket Watch (untradeable)
19. Leather - used to be for making stuff/quests - any different now?
20. Soft Feather - also used to be for quests and making some stuff
21. Rose Clipping
22. Gallant Emblem (untradeable)
23. Monster Park Commemorative Coin (untradeable)
24. Unleashed Coins (untradeable)
25. Cole's Mineral Bag (ok, it seems like it's for storing ores - but are they useful anymore? they were back in the day!)
26. [One-of-a-kind Item] Memories with Horntail

Set-up

1. Underneath the Maple Tree Chair
2. 8th Anniversary Dice (untradeable)
3. 8 slot chair bag (ok, it's pretty clear what it does, but any value in these?)

For the list of items above, I've googled some of them and there isn't a whole lot of information online - or rather, I'm pretty sure some of the information is outdated. For the quest items, they're supposed to be reasonably straightforward - go and find the next NPC and continue the quest, but for example, I went to Scadur in El Nath to try and hand in Lisa's Recommendation. But he doesn't seem interested. I also can't seem to navigate the Quest Log, even though there's a search. Searching doesn't seem to always find the right quest.
Other questions:

• Where how/do people sell things?!?! There used to be the Sleepywood forums, Basilmarket and the Free Market and people spamming on ch1, all of which no longer exist. I can see there's now an auction house? I saw someone mention Discord as well?
• What do people do with untradeable items that they don't want? I guess "it depends" (on whether it's relevant to you), and I know there's SoK. But in the absence of SoK?
• Equipment? Hunt? Buy? How do you upgrade? I know I can pick a wand or a staff. I'm holding a super old Magicodar, but I feel like I'm well well well behind the times.
• Where does a typical level 120 I/L mage train/level? I can see levelling seems way easier. I was playing back in the day of 200 being the max level - and I was around when the first character reached level 200 on GMS. I forgot his character name, but he was some sort of warrior on Scania.

Other observations/comments:

• Seems like Balrog on the Ellinia to Orbis ship is gone?
• The ship to travel from Victoria Island used to be one map from Ellinia in the top right corner. That's changed.
• Orbis tower is half destroyed?
• All the ships to get around don't depart at fixed times, but take a fixed (short) amount of time to travel
• I had a lot of trouble figuring out how to get to Showa Town, but eventually got there via Perry the Pelican above Six Crossway. All the stuff I googled online was outdated. Told me to go to Spinel (I think that was his name), the World Tour dude
• No one has fame? Everyone I've checked out has 0-10 fame.. I mean, it never really did anything, but people used to sometimes trade and buy fame.
• You can have a farm?
• The max level is like, 300? I don't know what it is exactly, but pretty sure I saw some 250+ characters.
• Skill points can be used to max out all your skills. You used to have to make a choice as to which skill to not max throughout all job levels and characters
• Some skills have changed. I don't have magic claw or that single thunder throw thingo anymore.
• You can get skills/buffs from characters on the same account based on their level?
• Reboot/non-reboot? Looked it up. Something to do with a more "free to play" experience vs paying for stuff via Cash shop and NX points etc.
• The game is huuugggggeee now, as in map-wise. I remember when Ludibrium was new... 2007, I think? I think the last town that was released when I stopped was New Lake City or whatever it's called. And Zakum PQ bossing was the pinnacle of bossing at the time. Kerning City PQ was the PQ for level 20-30s. Heard the game is a lot more solo now though. And I also remember when getting married was new. In fact, I even remember the days BEFORE the cash shop existed.

This game feels so super complicated now..!
I appreciate any insight you'll be able to provide! Thanks.

**** * ****
Hussein nudged his brother Iqbal and aimed his chin toward the bar. “Look, a fat, stupid American has finally managed some success.”
Iqbal smirked, “It is the only way the infidels can succeed. They have no education and no skills to do anything useful. They don’t even worship their own God anymore, only money and fame. They will soon learn better…”
The brothers were out enjoying a night of revelry, with a few more planned when they reached the city. The celebrations were a last reward before they fulfilled their mission and achieved True Paradise through martyrdom. Hussein was superstitious and hoped to find success at gambling before they took the great risk that if successful, would help to sustain their cause. They’d grown up in this land of debauchery and foolishness but had been taught from the first to honor their own Beliefs and culture above anything the Americans professed.
Hussein was on roll number five of what he intended to be a short run. He wished to win five times for the Five Pillars of Islam, the name of his cell in the latest great Jihad. He blew on the dice and tossed. The small cubes bounced against the back side of the pit and tumbled end over end as he watched breathlessly. “Another ten!” the barker called. And pushed the winnings toward Hussein. He placed a minimum bet and rolled once more. He had already left the table before the barker called, “Snakeyes! Next roller please.”
He held up his chips triumphantly, “Iqbal, more money from roll number five! I kept the bet in place for five rolls, I left only the minimum for the last roll, it is a Sign! We are fated to succeed. We will meet the others tomorrow, go over the plan, and then have a few last nights to revel in this world…”
Iqbal patted his brother on the shoulder, “There is something I would like more than winning chips. He nodded toward the bar and the attractive and sinuous young local who worked behind it, steadily polishing glasses.
Hussein watched for a moment, unsure whether his brother meant the alcoholic drinks that had been forbidden until now or the woman. Knowing Iqbal, he assumed both. “As you wish brother. Take your mortal enjoyments while you can. She looks a little sullen though, frown, lowered brows, I like the happy ones.”
Iqbal’s serpent-like smile widened, “She will look better when I have freed her from the miseries of the uncircumcised. She will enjoy a real man. Who knows? Maybe I will convert her so that we can meet again in Paradise.” With that, he surged away from his brother and slithered up to the bar opposite the young First Nations maid. “Good evening, I noticed that you do not have many customers at the bar. It seems odd that so beautiful a creature as yourself would not attract more company.”
The woman ignored him, intently focused on her task. He tried again, “Perhaps I must order a drink to remain at the bar? If so, a gin and tonic if you please.”
She continued to polish the glass. He leaned forward, “Did you hear me?” he inquired in an annoyed tone. “Perhaps you have no business because you are surly and unhelpful.”
She looked at him and delivered a smirk that appeared to be far more evil than anything he could ever hope to muster, despite his thin, reptilian lips and predatory mind, “We don’t want customers to linger at the bar, getting drunk and building from misery to anger over their losses. We want them playing… and losing.” She leaned toward him and glared into his own eyes that he normally considered flinty and daunting. “You know about losing, don’t you?”
Hussein noted that the large man at the end of the bar in the “Security” shirt had begun stumping toward them. “Iqbal, perhaps it is time to go look for other entertainment.”
Iqbal ignored him, he was trapped in the serpent’s gaze, like a mouse dropped into a snake’s tank to be devoured while its owner watched with perverse interest. Hussein reached for his brother to tug at his arm but never got the chance. The big security officer seized his hand, drew it to his too wide chest and turned. The weight of the man drew him away from his brother and caused him to spin around so that he ended up facing the goon with his brother beyond the man and in the clutches of the Serpent Woman. The ham-fisted gargantuan continued to twist the hand he gripped until the pressure caused Hussein sever pain. He grunted and bent into the angle of his wrist to relieve the distress. He found himself bent forward and looking up desperately toward the man’s face.
The security staffer smiled, his square, blunt teeth showing dark behind an almost lipless mouth. His wide back and chest, covered in body armor under his shirt made him appear like a monster-sized… Turtle. Hussein felt himself lifted and placed behind the bar. His brother soon slithered over the top and fell to the floor beside him, smiling beatifically. Hussein opened his mouth to scream for help, but a large, blunt fist crashed into the side of his head and he saw stars… seven of them, like the Holy... The fist descended once more, and he saw only darkness.
**** * ****
Fr. Danilo Bayani was immensely enjoying his latest trip to the continental USA. He had visited Hawaii many years ago, and New York City more recently, but this was his first tour of the grand landbound spaces that this country offered. He’d managed to roam so far from his origins in Manila. Now, in his twilight years, he longed to see what he could of God’s Green Earth. All on the payroll of The Vatican while they cleanse the records of those hateful… allegations. The bitter thoughts raced across his mind. Of course he was a sinner, he was only mortal. He’d been expiated of those sins and had paid an enormous price to continue serving in his capacity as a parish priest. He forced his mind to return to the moment and more enjoyable pursuits.
He noted the hirsute and similar appearing pair of men who had gone to the bar and wondered why the Security officer approached them, but his attention was called once more to the round of Texas Hold’em and his table mates. When he again had a moment to look, no one was at the bar, in front or behind… curious, he thought, but he quickly refocused his attention on the fascinating new game he was in the process of learning. He was familiar with Poker, so it wasn’t difficult to learn. He liked the high level of interaction that this version of the old game allowed. He’d done well, certainly gained enough to fund extracurricular activities during the rest of his current sabbatical.
He’d been disturbed by the overall atmosphere of this place when he’d arrived. He did not care for the numerous paintings and sculptures of Ancient Native Deities and Spirits. They seemed to be mostly images of the Dark Beings of various Tribal cultures. He loved to study diverse cultures, but this place was an amalgamation of cultures, built for mutual support by several Tribes in the region. Much of the artwork was schlocky and clearly intended to cater to the garish and sordid tastes of the vapid gambling set. Some part of him did not feel… welcome, as though he had intruded on some private Place, set aside for Other Gods.
He shook off the depressing musings… There are NO Other Gods, he reassured himself. He soon stepped away from the table to take care of personal needs and to decide what he should do with the rest of his night. Perhaps he would visit the White Dove Restaurant & Ballroom on the other side of the hotel lobby from the casino. It boasted a good reputation according to online reviews, even though it was a simple buffet style with a dance floor to one side. He liked the name, it was… peaceful he decided.
He soon had a selection of food piled onto a plate and was seated near the dance floor. The place was sparsely occupied, so his hopes of being able to watch dancers as he ate were dashed. Still, the food was good enough. A little bland, but that was necessary in a place that acted as a crossroads of cultures. There was a spice table at the end of the primary row of entrees. He’d helped himself, yet nothing seemed to attach to his taste buds. The combination of eating nearly alone, having no one with energy around him, and the tasteless food soon had him growing restless. He finished up his repast and left the table to go out to the final section of the complex he had not visited, the River Overlook.
As he passed the table nearest the entrance, he saw a stout man in a rumpled sport coat, who glared daggers at him, eyes focused on his crucifix, the only outward sign of his profession. The man appeared to be so hostile, that he paused for a moment to determine whether he’d done anything to offend the fellow. “Excuse me sir, have I offended you in some way?”
The man looked startled. He was apparently unused to being confronted about his demeanor or behavior. He scowled, “Don’t like that thing you have around your neck. You Catholics are all Hell-bound. No concept of righteousness. Not that you’d understand, you people don’t even read The Book. You listen to your priests and pope and disregard The Word. All the kneeling and ritual prayers in the world won’t save you in the end. Go back to your idols and beads and leave me alone to seek Heaven.”
Fr. Bayani was startled by the vehemence with which the man spoke. He hadn’t been attacked directly for his Faith in years. “Sir, I’m not sure what Religion you practice, but I am a man of God, a consecrated priest of the Holy Church. I assure you that I understand more than most, if not as much as I would like. I meant no harm and wish you a peaceful night.”
With that, he started to walk past the man, but the man rose from his table and pointed his finger, “Your pope is the Anti-Christ, and your Church is a place of Satan! Look to the Bible for your salvation before it’s too late.”
Fr. Bayani increased his pace and continued on his journey to the River Overlook. He would need the peace and tranquility that nature and the sound of flowing water would provide to settle his roiling mind.
**** * ****
Pastor Bill resumed his seat and shook his head, “Fool, doesn’t know that he’s risking his soul, courting Damnation.” He’d had a bad run at the tables over at the casino. His Denomination frowned on games of chance, but he had needed the money. One of his congregation had come up pregnant and they had to get it resolved before the three-month deadline for abortions. He knew that if his wife found out about Carmen, then she would divorce him. He was here to break every major rule that he professed to hold dear each week. His plan for quick money had failed, so he’d visited the bar. Now he hoped that eating would guide him back to sobriety. He had to think of another plan.
Seeing that… priest had annoyed him. Had he not been inebriated, he would never have said what he did, nor stared so rudely in the first place. Yet he wanted someone on whom to vent the anger he felt, that arose from fear and he’d always disliked the papists. If his wife divorced him, if the scandal involving the woman who cleaned the church all week and then occupied the back pew every Sunday ever broke; he would lose his ministry, his livelihood. His degree in Theology would be worthless. He might be able to get a job teaching, at some secular school, but most would not hire fervent Christians like himself.
He stared dejectedly at his plate of food that had contained more spice and flavors than he liked, a shadow passed in his periphery. It was low-slung and blurred just a bit as it loped along the wall. He thought he heard an odd laugh, somewhere between human and… canine? Maybe a little like a hyena might sound, or so he imagined. There was a manic quality to the laughter. A jest that was on him so that only the other Entity knew what it was. It was the wicked laughter of children at play, who’d decided to target a fat kid with glasses. A kid whose parents had been abusive addicts but who later “got right” through religious-based recovery programs. Their faith had led him to his own, but he’d never really lost those early traumas of being unaccepted by his peers and being beaten by people who later professed faith above all.
A mocking whine, definitely doggish, his now sobering consciousness informed him. Something was making fun of him, teasing him from the shadows. He looked around for staff members or other customers but found himself alone. The dining area and the dance floor were deserted. It was odd, there was almost always someone at the buffet service tables. He looked over to the kitchen doors in hopes that one of the employees would burst through with a fresh serving of chicken wings or whatever tray had been emptied. He saw dark figures move past the clouded round windows on the swinging doors and temporarily occlude the bright kitchen lights within, but they were indistinct blobs, and appeared to be focused on tasks of their own choosing rather than service of his needs.
He stood and realized that he was more intoxicated than he’d realized. He immediately resumed his seat and bent forward to regain his balance and bearings… and to swallow his rising gorge. When he sat up again, a dark, shaggy form perched in the chair across from him. The figure was no more than a silhouette, a raggedly hewn shadow. Yet there were eyes. Sinister golden gleams appeared and blinked at him. He heard a heavy, panting sort of breathing and a gust of foul-smelling carnivore breath assaulted his olfactory senses. “Who? Er, what are you doing at my table?” he asked in a mushy, confused manner. Still fighting off waves of nausea.
He could not see it very well in the poorly illuminated dining room, but his impression was that the... Being… smiled at him: a gaping, lolling smile, with a tongue dangling out to one side and sharp canines gleaming. “I thought I would check on you my righteous friend. You seem to be upset, unhappy. You nipped and barked at that other person who shares your Faith. I thought perhaps there was a deeper concern preying on your conscience?”
Pastor Bill had to force himself to think through what this… person? Had said to him. Likely some hippie-dippy weirdo. “That guy was a Catholic priest, we’re nowhere near the same Religion.”
Once more he heard the chortling laughter that was now very clear, “I’m sure you think it’s different. Those of his specific religion, came to these lands many years ago. They were the first of you Christians to arrive. The rest have been simple variations on a theme. The problems began, when your co-religionists assumed that only your God exists; that all of the local Gods and Spirits were instead Demons and Dark Powers. Instead of trying to show that yours is a better Way, you Christians insisted that yours is the only Way. You’ve forgotten that in Ancient Times, people held True to Deities who were attached to local communities or to the land and features around them; geographically and ethnically relevant. You have gone from subsuming and incorporating Older Gods as Angels and Saints, to Demonizing Them, and now in your hubris, to denying Them altogether.” He shook His head. “Too bad really, it creates an Adversarial relationship.” He chuckled at some joke that Pastor Bill was still too drunk to comprehend.
Pastor Bill had grown increasingly fearful as the Voice intoned Its Philosophies. He wanted to refute that Voice, to deny Its very Existence. Yet he feared Its Wrath more than anything he’d ever feared, even the Fires of Hell. Instead of making a stand and arguing his faith, he staggered to his feet and ran, stumbled, blindly toward the kitchen and the pale, ghostly figures within. Surely someone within would save him! The sardonic laughter chortled after him and chased him into the too bright lights, descending into the yips and howls of Coyote even as the doors swung shut behind him. He looked around at the glowing white figures who halted in their various progresses to stare at him. Their eyes! There were none, just empty sockets, faces slack, with gaping, lamprey maws. He heard a new sound as they swarmed him… his own forlorn screams of ultimate agony.
**** * ****
Fr. Bayani stood out on the River Overlook platform and enjoyed the solitude that had so recently left him restless. There were plenty of noises out across the flowing torrent: the water itself, as it passed over hidden objects, fish as they leapt from its embrace to kiss the night air, frogs and insects, and the warbling, mournful sounds of a loon, and the soft sigh of the wind as it passed through the verdant landscape. This is much more peaceful than the White Dove he thought. He had some trouble shaking off ruminations on the verbal assault from the strange, possibly drunken man in the restaurant. He decided that he would pray for the man, that he would one day soon find The True Faith. Sometimes that was all one could do for the short-sighted.
He heard a deep, coughing hiss out in the dark. He was startled but quickly realized that it was an American Alligator, cousin to creatures he had observed in many places around the planet. He was truly content, at one with Nature in all Her Glory… in all the natural splendor of Creation! he immediately corrected himself. A sound impinged on his senses as it slowly rose and obscured the others… it was a lapping sound at first, more like ocean waves on a beach than the banks of a river. Waves, at cross purposes to the flow of the river, slapped at the base of the platform. Soon they sounds evolved into splashes, as if something very large approached the River Overlook platform. He leaned over the rail to have a closer look. Perhaps it was a large water creature or a boat… maybe a ‘gator as the locals called the big reptiles.
He peered down at the dim rippling surface below. At first, he was unable to discern anything but small reflections on the water as it swirled and lapped; then from below the surface, he spotted an eye, a too large eye! It glowed from within with a sickly luminescence akin to that produced by deep growing fungi. As he stared in horror, he saw a mouth gape below the eye, and enormous frog-like opening with no teeth but serrated lips, like some monstrous catfish. As he stared, too much in shock to act, he suddenly felt his body wrapped in strong, leprous flesh and he quickly lost his ability to breathe. The last sight he saw before he plunged over the safety rail was the thin, grey, first light of dawn.
**** * ****
Chief Harry Whitehorse gazed around at his fellow chiefs and Shamans from various local Tribes, “So, are The Dark Ones satisfied once again? Have They sated their appetites on strangers so that our peoples will be safe for another year?”
Affirmative rumbles muttered around the conference room. Red Wolf, a Shaman, spoke from near the back row, “They are not only satisfied but Coyote assures us that the prey people will not be linked with our premises or business operations.”
Most of the fresh mutters sounded pleased, but old Harry had to ask, “Can we trust Him?”
Chortling laughter sounded throughout the conference room and ascended into thunderous yips and howls of hysterical glee.