VooDoo Rooftop Nightclub & Lounge Rio Las Vegas

Shakira with her Latin Grammys for Best Female Pop Performance AND Best Female Rock Performance
In September of 1998, MTV’s Total Request Live made its debut and the Video Music Awards celebrated their 15th edition, the same month that Hole’s Celebrity Skin, Marilyn Manson’s Mechanical Animals and Jay-Z’s Vol. 2… Hard Knock Life made their splash in the Billboard 200, all while Aerosmith’s I Don’t Want to Miss A Thing debuted at number one in the Hot 100 (and remained for the entire month) and Rush Hour ruled the box office in its way to become a sleeper hit and a classic. Of course all of this was in the United States, all while thousands of miles below another pop culture phenomenon was taking place, I’m talking of course about the release of Shakira’s forth studio album and her magnum opus: Donde Están Los Ladrones? (Where Are the Thieves?), which turns 20 this week.
Long before Ladrones, Shakira debuted at the tender age of 13 with the low budget 1991’s Magia (Magic), a collection of songs she wrote between the ages of 8 and 12 and some other tracks written by her producers. Two years later, Peligro (Danger) followed with even less input from the singer and songwriter. The experience of making those two albums was frustrating for Shakira, as she didn’t have any choice when it comes to production or sequencing of the tracks, and as a result the albums received a very tepid critical response and bombed, selling around 1000 copies each, with the latter being barely promoted at Shakira’s request, as she moved into a bigger label and started working on her second debut album: Pies Descalzos (Bare Feet), released in 1995. The song ¿Dónde Estás, Corazón? (Where Are You Love?) was a hit when it was released as a single for a compilation album earlier in that year, which allowed Shakira to have the creative control she always wanted. The resulting album sold over five million copies worldwide (including over 500,000 in the US) and was praised by critics, who finally perceived that she fullfilled her potential as a performer and writer. After a successful international tour and a string of hits like Estoy Aquí (I’m Here) and Antología (Anthology), Shak was ready to move forward and conquer the world… however she need to find someone that could help her break into new markets.
Cue to Emilio Estefan.
The ICONIC album cover
Emilio wasn’t just the husband of Gloria, but also the hottest producer of the Hispanic market at the time and the man responsible of launching the career of Enrique Iglesias and Thalía (and also Gloria, of course), and as such he was the most capable person to move Shakira into the next phase of her blossoming career: Worldwide domination. Shakira caught Emilio’s attention and immediately offered himself to work on her next album, but Shakira only agreed to if she was given full creative control of the record, conditions that Emilio accepted.
The title of the record was inspired by one of Shakira's trips to the capital of her native country Colombia. At the El Dorado International Airport in Bogotá, after finishing her Tour Pies Descalzos, part of her luggage was stolen, including a briefcase that contained all the lyrics Shakira had been working on for the album, which forced her to work from scratch, not before she suffered from writer’s block, resulting from the impotence of the robbery itself: “I came to the conclusion that there are all types of thieves. A thief is not just a person who takes a physical object that doesn't belong to him or her. There are thieves who steal feelings, space, time, dreams, and rights”.
The album cover, a picture of her with dirty hands and messy, colorful Medusa-esque braids, was inspired by the two interpretations of the album’s title: the literal “Who are they? What are they looking for? Where are they?” about the thieves and the more figurative one about how no one is free of guilt: “from that point of view, we all have stolen at one time or another, myself included. The dirty hands represent the shared guilt. No one is completely clean, in the end we are all accomplices”.
Ladrones is mostly a Pop record, with Rock en Español (an umbrella term to refer to several kinds of rock music made in Latin America from the 80s onwards) influences and elements of Disco, Mariachi and Middle Eastern music spread through the record. Sonically, it has been compared to her contemporaries of the time like Alanis Morissette and Meredith Brooks, with the only similarities being the fact that all of these singers weren’t exactly traditional pop stars and they played guitar-tinted pop songs.
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The tracklist
This is more apparent in the opening track and lead single Ciega Sordomuda (Blind, Deaf-Mute), which starts with Mariachi instrumentals before introducing a more standard dance loop and guitars as its background sounds, all while Shakira sings the iconic opening lines:

I run out of arguments and of methodology every time that in front of me your anatomy appears

A sarcastic and humorous track about the consequences of falling in love, Ciega was a huge hit when it was released, reaching number one in basically all of Latin America charts and the Billboard Hot Latin Tracks (a first for Shakira), aided by its surreal music video; and was also a critical success, considered one of the best Latin songs of the 90s and one of her signature songs. And with the iconic opening and the mariachi/rap bridge it’s easy to forget how iconic the chorus itself is:

Stupid, blind, deaf-mute, clumsy, useless and strong headed
It’s all I have been because of you I have became
A thing that doesn’t do anything else but loving you
I think of you night and day and I don’t know how to forget you

As a curiosity, a full mariachi version was recorded as part of her Unplugged album just two years later.
The second track is the rockier and angrier Si Te Vas (If You’re Gone), about how Shakira feels that her lover is planning to leave her for a “witch, ugly piece of leather” and she warns him what might wait for him if she decides to leave him:

A new broom always sweeps clean then you will see the worn bristles
When wrinkles cut her skin and cellulite invades her legs
You will return from your hell with the tail between your horns imploring one more time
But by then I will be a million nights far away from this huge city, far away from you

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Lyrics from the second and third track of the album
The bipolarity continues with the third track and fifth single overall Moscas en la Casa (Flies in the House), a video-less tender acoustic-guitar-and-handdrum-driven ballad about the Shakira’s sadness suffered after her relationship fell apart and how she has to let herself go, while she continues to wait for him to come back. Inspired by her troubled relationship with Puerto Rican actor Osvaldo Ríos, 16 years her senior, the heartbreaking yet simple lyrics details how are her days without her lover:

My days without you do not have any nights
If any of them appears it is useless to sleep
My days without you are a waste, the hours have no beginning or end
So short of breath
So full of nothing
Unusable scrap
Trash on the floor
Flies in the house

Shakira light up the mood a little bit with the forth track and single No Creo (I Don’t Believe) in which the dance loop, the unusual instrument (in this case an harmonica) and the rap bridge returns, as she sings about how she believes in nothing and nobody except her lover… ok, this one is a basically a reprise of Ciega Sordomuda, and it doesn’t help that the video shares footage with Ciega’s one (maybe both were shot back-to-back, who knows), but it still slaps:

I don’t believe in Venus or Mars
I don’t believe in Karl Marx
I don’t believe in Jean-Paul Sartre
I don’t believe in Brian Weiss
I only believe in your blue smile
In your crystal look, in the kisses that you give me
And no matter what they say
Only you know well who I am and that's why my heart is yours
Only you bend my reason and that's why wherever you want I go

Another global hit for Shakira, the song also became the first single from her Unplugged album just one year after its release as a single from Ladrones.
Inevitable is the fifth track and third single overall, a song which had always remind me, musically speaking, to a The Bends-era Radiohead track. The songs showcases Shakira exposing herself as an imperfect lover who might have cheated before, who doesn’t shower on Sundays and cries at least once a month (especially when it’s cold) and yet she still loves her guy so much that it’s willing to change everything and fix herself, everything just for him to come back:

I have always known that it’s best when it’s time to talk about two to start with oneself
You probably know the situation
Here everything is getting worse
But at least I’m still breathing
You don’t have to say it
You won’t come back
I know you so well
I will think about what to do with you later

Inevitable, which was used alongside scenes of its music video for a Pepsi campaign, is more famous for being Shakira’s first foray into English singing, as a rewritten version was performed in the Rosie O’Donnell show (followed by an interview hosted by Gloria Estefan) and the ALMA Awards as a duet with Melissa Etheridge. The songs was another top 5 hit of the album and have been performed in every tour ever since, albeit with a small alteration since 2011: The lyric “and I don’t know nothing about football (soccer)” is now “and now I know about football (soccer)” as a tongue-in-cheek reference to her relationship with Gerard Piqué.
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More lyrics!
Even through it was only a radio single in a limited number of countries, the sixth track entered Shakira’s canon as her most controversial track: Octavo Día (Eight Day) is also the first track on the album that doesn’t deal with the subject of love, instead it revolves around the idea of God leaving us behind and what would happen with humanity afterwards. In some ways, it can be compared to Joan Osborne’s sole hit One of Us, however the song’s social commentary leaves behind any comparison it can be made to the theme song to Joan of Arcadia.
The song begins with God creating Earth in six days and taking a break from everything in the eight day by going “for a walk in outer space” just to come back and “find everything in a hellish mess” which leads Him to became just “another unemployed of the rate that is growing non-stop annually”, since then “there are those who have seen him walking alone in the streets” while “waiting patiently for someone with whom at least calm he can converse”. In the second verse, God “in the absence of occupation or excessive loneliness” leaves us behind as He went to another place, and left us with no other choice than to “worship Michael Jackson, Bill Clinton or Tarzan” as Shakira laments how our poor God “does not appear in magazines, that he is not a model, or an artist or from a royal family”. The chorus delves into social critique as Shak casually mentions how, in the meantime of this godly mess, “this world just keep spinning unable to being stopped; and here below, a few play us like chess pieces” while she’s “not the kind of idiot that lets herself convince” from stuff that even a blind men can see.
The rock track, winner of the Latin Grammy for Best Female Rock Vocal Performance, gained more notoriety during the Tour of the Mongoose (2002-2003), in which a very controversial background video played during the performance which showed Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush playing chess (with some of the musicians using Fidel Castro and Richard Nixon masks) just for players to later substitute the chess pieces for nuclear weapons, all while the Grim Reaper is controlling them like puppets… surprisingly she didn’t received the Dixie Chicks treatment and her career survived barely unscratched. In a later statement Shakira mentioned her reasoning for such a controversial performance:

“I think that we see war as a virtual thing and we even get to believe that bombs fall on top of cardboard cutouts and stuff like that, they don't. They kill real people, real children, real mothers and millions of innocent people. I come from Colombia, which is a country that has been under the whip of violence for more than four decades, so I've seen the consequences of war and I've seen the psychological damage that it does in a society.
And I think that we're never ready for war. I just feel that there are always pacifist solutions, and I think that the leaders know the exit to the conflict, it's just that sometimes they don't want to use them, they just want to continue playing their little game of power. And I feel that us people have the responsibility and also the obligation to demand to our leaders to give us the pacifist solutions. […] I might be sounding like an old fashioned hippie, but I believe in pacifist revolutions and I think that we have to look for those solutions, otherwise there's no way to survive in this world. In the First World War, 13 million people were killed. In the Second World War, 40 million people were killed. I think that if a third war takes place, nothing is going to be left on the face of earth […] Not always do the governments represent their people. Not always do the governments make the right decisions, because the governments are controlled by just a few, and those few do not always represent faithfully the ideals of the people.”

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Shakira performing Octavo Día at her MTV Unplugged concert
In the seventh track, Que Vuelvas (To Come Back), Shakira let us breathe after such a heavy track as a pulsating and pounding bass line, another dance loop and a guitar accompaniment guides us through a journey in which Ms. Piqué wonders what would happen to her now that her lover, Ríos once again, left her. It’s very straightforward, sure, and kind of unambitious, but there’s a small element that elevates this deep cut above your average filler: the structure.

VERSE 1: It established the basics of the track right away.
PRE-CHORUS: It builds up to some anthemic chorus.
VERSE 2: Shakira blueballs us as another verse kicks instead, which shows us another perspective of the elements established in the first verse.
PRE-CHORUS: It’s here once again.
CHORUS: It finally appears and it kicks harder thanks to the buildup.
VERSE 3: The history of the previous verses continues to move forward.
CHORUS: Instead of just reprising the chorus, Shakira give us a surprise and changes the last bar to connect directly to the bridge.
BRIDGE: This short interlude is used by the narrator for catharsis, with some tension being liberated after so much angst.
CHORUS: Now the chorus comes back followed by a fade out which makes us wonder what’s going to happen next with our narrator… will she move forward? Will he come back to her arms?

Of course this reading might be too extra to some people, especially because the songs sounds suspiciously similar to Estoy Aqui, but I can’t really stand the fact that this songs its ‘this’ close to be filler, especially given its placement in the album.
The following track is Tú (You) is Shak’s signature ballad and one of her most emotional and vocally demanding tracks. Although it begins as a declaration of unconditional love, it suddenly turns into another track begging her lover to not leave her again:

I give you my waist and my lips for when you want to kiss
I give you my madness and the few neurons that are left
My faded shoes, the diary in which I write
I give you my sighs, but don’t leave me again
Because you are my sunshine, the faith with which I live, the power of my voice, the feet that I use to walk
My love, you are my desire to laugh
I will not know how to say goodbye
Because I can never live without you

The self-penned track, issued as the second single of the album, reached number one in the Billboard Latin charts and several other Latin countries. Because of the difficulty of singing this track live, Shakira retired the full version after the Tour of the Mongoose; but brought it back for her set in Rock in Rio and the El Dorado World Tour, albeit without the second verse.
The title track's lyrics
The title track, Dónde Están los Ladrones? (Where Are the Thieves?), is second non-love song on the album. The harmonica comes back in the guitar-driven song which criticizes the politic and social reality in South American nations at the time of the album's release:

They have seen them out there, seen them on the rooftops, walking by Paris, condemning in the courts
With dusty nose, wearing a tie or blue jeans, you've seen them all on the covers, with nothing more to say

However, in a plot twist, Shakira points to finger toward herself in the chorus:

Where is the murderer?
Maybe there, rolling around the neighbor’s courtyard
and what will happen if it’s them?
And what will happen if it’s me
The one who plays this guitar or the one who is singing this song

Going by the song’s verses, everyone who had benefitted of the social inequity is part of the problem, it’s not enough to just point fingers. While 9 of the 11 tracks in the album are about love, the small glimpses we get from the Woke Shakira in this 2 sole tracks shows us that she’s far from being another average man-hater indie rock girl of the 90s like some of her peers… it’s not just the looks or the music, it’s how she portraits this sensibilities from different perspectives that makes her one of the greatest of the decade.
Unfortunately for us, we reached the closest this album has to a filler track: Sombra de Ti (Your Shadow), a subdued mid-tempo ballad in which Shakira feels how a previous relationship keeps haunting her. Lyrically speaking, this track is amazing, featuring some of the greatest metaphors and lyrics in the album (“You must know that there are pieces of your mouth spread out all over this place and that I stumble every day with another old memory and a new gray story”) and the best opening bars in any heartache song ever (“I'm going to let my guitar say everything I do not know how to say myself, or maybe I should wait for this jeering clock to finish planning my ending”) but… the sing-talking in the verses and the way she sings the chorus sort of takes me away from the track… I mean, any other Latin pop girl would murder for this song as her first single in any given album, but in this particular album and surrounded by so many amazing tracks it just falls somewhat flat for me.
The album closer: Ojos Así
Fortunately, Shak decided to close the album with one of the greatest tracks of her career: Ojos Así (Eyes Like These), a middle eastern bop, which was released as the fifth single of the album. In the song, Shakira songs about how she has seen some amazing (“a heaven without Sun”, “a river made of salt”), unique (“a Saint in prison”, “an abandoned ship in the desert”) and weird (“a woman passing under her camel”) stuff, and yet, she still hasn’t seen anything as striking as her man’s black eyes:

I ask Heaven only one thing, that in your eyes I can live
I have wandered around the entire world and I have come to tell you just one thing
I travelled from Bahrein to Beirut, I went from the North to the South Pole
and I never found eyes like those, like those that you have

The most impressive aspect of the track is the fact that Shakira actually sings in Arabic in several portions of the track, sometimes aided by an all-male chorus of course:

ربُ السماء , فيك رجائي (rb alsama' , fik rajayiy) (Lord of heaven, in you my hope)
في عينيها أرى حياتي (fi eayniha ‘araa hayati) (In his eyes I see my life)
آت ِ إليك من هذا الكون (at 'iilayk mn hdha alkun) (Coming to you from this universe
*)*أرجوك ربي .. لبي ندائي ('urjuk rabiy .. labi nidayiyun) (Please, My Lord)

The Latin Grammy nominated, MTV VMA winning music video aided the song into becoming a huge hit in Latin America and arguably her signature 90s song. The track, which also won the Latin Grammy for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance, actually has an (inferior) English version called Eyes Like Yours, with an unreleased video and everything, featured as the last track in 2002’s Laundry Service. This English version helped the song to become a moderate hit in Europe and a smashing hit in Romania of all places.
The album Dónde Están los Ladrones? was a huge critical hit when released in 1998: Rolling Stone declared that it was ‘hard to imagine a singer barely into her 20s having written and recorded such an inventive set of songs’, MTV declared that Shakira ‘represents the kind of eventuality for which Alanis Morissette, Bob Dylan and Beck are all precedents’, Sputnikmusic called the album ‘the gem of Shakira's discography, and one of the best Spanish pop releases of the past decade’ and the NPR put it above Taylor’s Fearless, Mariah’s Daydream, No Doubt’s Tragic Kingdom and Fiona Apple’s Tidal, among others, in their list of 150 Best Albums Made by Women. Ladrones was nominated for a Grammy in the Best Latin Rock/Alternative Album category, gave Shakira a Songwriter of the Year award in the BMI Latin Awards, a World's Best Selling Latin Female Artist at the World Music Awards and 5 awards out of 8 nominations at the Premios Lo Nuestro between 1999 and 2001 including Pop Album and Pop Female Artist.
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Shakira with an ACTUAL Grammy
After its release, Ladrones was an immediate success in Latin America selling over a million copies a month after its release, however that success didn’t immediately translated elsewhere: in the United States it debuted at #141 in its second week of release (it didn’t sell enough to chart at first) and next week peaked at #131, although it spend a total of 11 weeks atop the Billboard Top Latin Albums chart; in Europe the album was a commercial disappointment and only reached above the top 75 in the Spain charts. Ladrones is Shakira’s second best-selling album worldwide with over 10 million copies sold (below Laundry Service’s 15 millions), including around one million copies in the US (being certified Platinum), which makes it the 9th best-selling Latin album in the country, one position below Shakira’s own Fijación Oral Vol. 1.
In order to promote the album, Shakira performed across the world in different events and TV shows: Miss Colombia 1999 in her native Colombia, Con T de Tarde in Spain, Laura in Peru, Domingo Legal and Domingão do Faustão in Brazil and Premios Lo Nuestro and Latin Grammys in the United States, among others, all in a one year period as she prepared her next release: Her MTV Unplugged album.
Recorded in the Grand Ballroom in New York just ten months after the release of Ladrones, Unplugged was her first live album and basically served as an extension and complement of the Ladrones era as 10 of the 11 tracks in the live release were from the Ladrones album with Si Te Vas being substituted with early single Estoy Aquí. Unplugged was a huge hit (selling over a million copies worldwide) and was a critical success in English-speaking markets, winning an actual Grammy, not a Latin Grammy, but a real Grammy for Best Latin Pop Album, the third Unplugged release to win a Grammy after Eric Clapton and Nirvana’s albums.
Her first of many live albums: MTV Unplugged
After the release of Unplugged in February 2000, Shakira embarked in her second international tour, Tour Anfibio (Amphibious Tour) to promote both the live album and Ladrones. In The Tour Anfibio she performed for a two-month period (between March and May) a total of 21 concerts in 12 countries, including four dates in Argentine’s Luna Park (playing for almost 40,000 people), 3 dates in the United States (in San Diego’s Valley View Casino Center, Anaheim’s Honda Center and Miami’s Miami Arena, all with capacities for over 10,000 people) and a sole date in Colombia. Despite the short duration of the tour (it had less than one third of the dates of her previous tour), it was a commercial success.
After the inicial success of Ladrones, Gloria Estefan tried to convince Shakira of releasing a English translated version of the album, offering to translate herself Ojos Así to show it could be done (hence she was credited as a writer in the English version released later), which made Shakira start doing it herself… that was until she decided to better start anew and give herself some time to study the language, subsequently the sessions that were supposed to start in January of 1999 were cancelled and Shakira wouldn’t start working in the Ladrones follow-up until the next year, writing English tracks with a "dictionary in one hand and a thesaurus in the other"; the resulting album was Laundry Service and we all know how that turned out and what happened afterward.
Shakira during her Anfibio Tour
Donde Estan Los Ladrones? Is a fantastic listening from beginning to end, with every track offering something unique: either an iconic lyric, a moment of musical brilliance or a shocking combination of both, with the sudden realization that she was just 21 when the album was unleashed to the world; Ladrones is very obviously a 90s album, but that’s not a detriment to how enjoyable and relatable it is up to this day, and how well and tightly produced it is. Despite lacking thematic cohesion, it doesn’t need it (not every album has to be The Wall) to shock and awe with its sonically delicious palette of Latin rock pop sounds and poetic lyrics. Each track (with an obvious exception, a 7/10 for me) is at least a 9/10 with several tens in the middle.
As much as I love Shakira, I’ve always though it was a shame that this was her creative peak… not that she isn’t still great but none of her later albums have reached the same heights, although several of her subsequent tracks are obviously deserving of their acclaim and even some albums have come somewhat close of Ladrones.

Ive made an easier list below, and a way more in depth after that

1. 70’s Era Blaxploitation Film set in Harlem/Cali
2. Modern Day Mexico and South America, assassinating drug lords
3. Spanish Conquest of the Aztec Empire
4. Russian Revolution
5. Mars colony in the future
6. Dynastic/Gunpowder Age China
7. Indian Empire
8. War on Terrorism in Iraq
9. English colonization of Australia
10. Balkans and Ottoman Empire during Skënderbeu’s Rebellion
11. Greaser Assassins vs Soc Templars in Urban 50’s America
12. World War 1
13. Holocaust and World War 2
14. 80’s Beverly Hills High School Coming-of-Age Movie: Karate Kid
15. The British Isles during Medieval Times
16. Roman Republic/Empire
17. Go to a drug lord’s secret chinese island for the cia under the guise of a martial arts contender in his yearly contest (Enter the Dragon: The Game)
18. Noir Gangland, NYC during Roaring Twenties, Jazz Age, Prohibition Era, Great Depression
19. Mongolian Empire
20. Zombie apocalypse set in Canada (for the snow)
21. Cold War in Moscow, Berlin, London, Dallas, Cuba
22. All of North Korean history
23. Feudal/Empirical Japan
24. Slasher film genre set in the 80’s with you as detective
25. Ancient Greece
26. A Modern Day Criminal Underworld (like John Wick)
27. American Civil War
28. Vietnam War
29. Viking Age in Norway, Iceland, Greenland, and Canada
30. Post Apocalyptic Wasteland (Mad Max)
31. Wild West and California Gold Rush

Assassin’s Creed: Blaxploitation
Fight against the system as a black brotha (afro hoods, white templars, 70’s Harlem/Cali) just kidding keep scrolling
Assassin’s Creed: Cartel
Assassinate Mexican cartel drug lords. Kind of like Sicario. Parkour through Rio roofs.
Assassin’s Creed: Conquest
You are an eagle warrior in your Aztec community, fighting off rival natives. In your travels, you meet an old man who claims to know about the assassins that came with Columbus. You go meet the assassins and learn their ways in order to defeat the rivals. You learn that conquistador Templars have taken over the expeditions and plan to invade the city of Tenochtitlan. You later visit the seer Nezahualpilli and his omens confirm your fears. You gather your faces and defend your people against the conquistadors. However, the city still falls and surrenders. You fight against Cortez’s forces. You have to defend in the Massacre of Cholula and meet Moctezuma. You are forced to leave your homeland, living in the shadows and assassinating the Spanish from afar. Weapons include macuahuitl, atlatl, javelins, war bow, slings, poisonous blowguns, spear, tomahawk, club, knife, toledo sword, lances, arquebus, crossbows, hidden obsidian dagger. Aztec instruments. You're Eagle assassin outfit consists of a beaked helmet and a long feathered cloak. Quests include scalping Templars, assassinating Templars, saving children, defending the city, stealing weapons, capturing enemies, fighting rivals, looting missionaries, saving Aztecs from slavery and punishment after the colonization. You can climb palaces and boats and temples and pyramids and hunt jaguars. You can also assassinate Pizarro.
Assassin’s Creed: Czar
You are a Cossack assassin during the Russian Empire’s last days. You notice that Nicholas II is keeping people under his complete total rule. You organize revolution in order to restart the Russian government. You assassinate the czar and the czardom is over. You fight in the February and October Revolution. Weapons include bear spear, pick, fork, knout, shashka, falchion, karabela, morningstar, broad axe, sovnya, khanjali, crossbow, and hidden blade. You can climb up the colorful spiral towers in St Petersburg. You can hunt bear in the frozen wilderness. You lead the revolution. Classical orchestra music. You wear a traditional Cossack cavalry uniform with a Russian ushanka. Name could be Zaroff and you can own some hounds.
Assassin’s Creed: Deep Space/Colony
You are an Astronaut Assassin of the Fifth Colony of Mars in 2118. Most of the population of Earth (due to polluted and cancerous air) live in the Fifth Colony, with interplanetary travel being common. The Outer Space Treaty was violated by the New Templars, reformed by the Templar Grandmaster and SpaceX CEO Elon Musk, when you find that they have made a secret hidden moonbase. The New Templars have been building a WMD. You have to infiltrate the moonbase, kill space Templars, and travel the planets in your spaceship shaped like the assassin’s creed symbol. Weapons include the hidden energy blade, lightsaber, blasters, sticky bombs, heat ray, freeze ray, sonic ray, shock ray, portal ray (easy exit, cool assassination, or to pull a Templar through so you won't alert the other guards, like pulling them into a haystack or bush), plasma grenade, lazer whip, power gauntlets (like Jacqui Briggs), circular saw, chainsword, atom slicer knife, harpoons, emp bow and arrow. Soundtrack would be electronic and space opera. You would wear an orange and white thin space suit like from the movie The Martian. The visor would be pointed and can move up and down around the glass like a hood. The astronauts cap is also pointed and the shredded cape would float in zero gravity. You wear a space walk jetpack and the exosuit can change depending on the planet, such as radiation resistant on Earth and thermal on Pluto, Mercury, etc. You can visit any of the terrestrial planets, as well as the kuiper and asteroid belt. Quests include redirecting meteors, assassinating space templars, collecting space trash, visiting a hermit on Pluto, destroy templar weapons, etc. Cool features include leap of faith into a blackhole and coming out of another. You can also climb colony bases and the asteroid belt in low/zero gravity. Danger in climbing in space is flying too high up instead of down. You can perform a floating assassination, and a portal assassination. Spaceship combat will be featured, basically like naval combat from AC4 but in three dimensions. The missions, arrows, distances, maps, and special locations would all be in-game as a JARVIS type AI inside of the assassin suit. Should be 3d if that is even possible. Based on Star Wars, Star Trek, The Martian, and other space operas.
Assassin’s Creed: Dynasty
You are a Chinese Assassin during Dynastic China. You have to assassinate Templars and parkour in the Forbidden City. Something about the Terracotta Soldiers. Weapons include the fire arrow launcher, deer horn knives, hidden sai, butterfly sword, chain whip, changdao, musket, claw sickle, bow and arrow, jian, oriental saber, shuang gou hook sword, chui mace, emeici darts, fire lance (like in mad max), guandao, staff, hand cannon, ji spear, black powder canister, meteor hammer, pump flamethrower, qiang spear, repeating crossbow, rope dart, nunchucks, wind and fire wheels, stinkpot (to clear an area of enemies and civilians), trebuchet, tonfa, branched sword, roped dragon beard hook, chinese axe, . Traditional chinese music. You wear a long hooded monk robes. You are trained by both Shaolin Temple monks and Assassins. Crouching Dragon, Hidden Tiger type parkour. Assassinate Zhang Fei
Assassin’s Creed: Empire
You are a tech support for Abstergo.com. Jk. You receive a mysterious caller, who orders you to use an Animus. You find out that you're ancestor is an Indian Assassin of the Indian Empire. You have to protect the townsfolk when the greedy Sultan wants to use a genie lamp to accomplish the goals of the Templars. Parkour in the Taj Mahal. Hidden katar, chakram, tiger claws, pata, etc. Traditional Indian music. You wear traditional robes plus a pointed turban. Kind of like the Aladdin movie which is the only thing I know about India
Assassin's Creed: Extremist
You are a US Marines Air Force SEALS CounterTerrorist Special Forces Black Ops Assassin during the War on Terrorism. ISIS is an Abstergo-funded organization. You have to defeat Abstergo and ISIS while at home and in the Middle East. Quests include defusing bombs, clearing an area, invading the homes of terrorists and assassinating them, foiling a terrorist plot, stopping Abstergo shipments, killing Templars, gathering intel, sniping ISIS, etc. You wear an army fatigue patterned cloak, a backpack, army boots, kevlar armor, and a strapped Army helmet with a tinted black visor. Weapons include grenades, flash bangs, smokes, AK’s, AR’s, sniper rifles, tactical knives, fireman axe, transparent riot shield, dual pistols, and hidden blade. Eagle vision works as night vision. TEMPLARS DID 9/11! You can assassinate people by jumping from a helicopter. You can also interrogate people in cutscenes. You can also use a drone as an eagle. Muslim prayers in the city and dramatic score for war. Winter soldier theme is an extra. Based on movies like American Sniper, Zero Dark Thirty, other war films.
Assassin’s Creed: First Fleet
You are an Aboriginal Australian. Weapons include the waddy club, the boomerang, barbed spears, hidden barbed spearhead. When the first fleet comes, an assassin aboard meets you and warns you of a devious plot back on England. The templars plan to take over the land forcefully from the Aborigines. You decide to buddy up with the englishman in order to stop the templar invasion. The story is split between the Englishman and the Aborigine, allowing you to switch between them in combat, or as backup, just like in GTA V. You eventually kill the Templar, along with his idea of invasion. Outback open world and docks. Enemy ship docking. Traditional aboriginal music. You wear traditional Aboriginal clothes. Assassinate kangaroos and koalas. Helix rift on the Great Emu War.
Assassin’s Creed: Gold Eagle
You are an Albanian assassin. When the Ottomans took over your homeland and stole you from your family, you became a janissary with Skenderbeu. You join his rebellion and leave the Ottomans to rejoin the Albanians and save it from invasion. You fight against the Ottoman to defend the “Land of the Eagles”. Weapons include the curved sword, pikes, axes, long curved sword, bow, javelin, cannons, maces, the hidden stacked blade. You can climb up the castle in Krujë. Outfit underneath is the traditional white linen robes, except the black and red embroidered vest is longer and more like an assassin’s cloak and an albanian eagle and the white cap points down to cover the face. On top is normal scale and chainmail armor and a ram headed helmet that shrouds the face. Open world mountains+castle parkour. Skenderbeu theme from the 1954 movie.
Assassin’s Creed: Greaser
You are a greaser Assassin, and you have 50’s gang fights against the soc Templars. Hidden comb. Based on The Outsiders, West Side Story, Grease, and any other 50’s greaser culture.
Assassin’s Creed: Great War
You are an Allied Assassin during the time of WW1. You hear that Franz Ferdinand will be assassinated by the Templars in hopes of starting a chain reaction leading to a global war, so you go to Bosnia. However, you fail to stop the Black Hand, a Serbian sub-section of Templars, and the archduke is assassinated, leading to the Great War. You can visit cities like London, Paris, Austria-Hungary, Berlin, Russia, and everywhere else in Europe. You enlist in the British army and you are sent to the trenches. Eagle vision can be used to see over the trenches. Weapons include the hidden bayonet, rifle for shooting and clubbing and stabbing, machine guns, grenades, mustard gas, shrapnel shell, mortars, artillery guns, flamethrowers, mines, barbed wire, trench knives, sabers, and pistols. Quests include retrieving a body for a grieving family in Britain, riding in u-boats, having dogfights in biplanes, using tanks, decoding things like the Zimmerman telegram, decorating no man’s land with mines and barbed wire, assassinate Templars, killing the Red Baron in a dogfight, and assassinate German generals. Eagle vision can be used to see enemies through mustard gas and also spot out mines on no man’s land. Your outfit is a black and grey assassin trench coat, including a gas mask connected to the hood, which allows you to go through the mustard gas. Trench assassination can happen where you jump into the trench like an air assassination and assassinate the German Templars. With a biplane you can do a leap of faith with a parachute, dogfight against other planes, or bombard cities. Trenches can also be looted after they have been mortared. Dunkirk and wonder woman theme.
Assassin’s Creed: Holocaust
You are a Polish Jew during the holocaust with Creed lineage. He takes the family heirlooms, his great grandfather’s cloak and blade, with him before Nazis take his mom and the rest of town. He follows them close behind as they are led on a train. The assassin jumps on the train and rides it to camp, without alerting the Nazis. He helps the camp prisoners. However, when trying to steal bread for his mom, a Nazi catches him and he is taken prisoner. Before he is gassed, he escapes and rescues the rest of them. Then he starts a rebellion amongst the prisoners and they burn down the camp. The assassin then goes into Germany as a spy, giving info to e Americans. Once he gets close to Hitler, the war is over. On a mission for personal revenge, he tracks down Hitler in the bunker and kills the whole room, making it look like suicide. Side quests: attack guards stealthily, steal food, find medicine in Berlin, assassinate high officials, help hide Jews, decode messages, learn attack plans. Can use hook blade across telephone wires. Weapons include hidden harpe (sword+hook), mines, hidden pistol, grenade, and rifle (shooting and clubbing). You can also go to Hiroshima and Pearl Harbor. German and jewish songs soundtrack. Based on stuff like Schindler’s List
Assassin’s Creed: Kingdom
You are a Knight of the Round Table, working for King Arthur (in AC, King Arthur should be real, but people think he is fake because of legends and exaggeration and Templars covered it up) as an assassin during Medieval times. The templars and their evil king work to oppress the commoners and gain more of England’s land. You have an assassin’s hood and cloak made of chain mail, and full metal plate armor like knights wear, or Robin Hood type clothes with a low pointed hat and feather. Horses can be ridden in the game and yours has chain mail. Many main quests include castle defense and castle invading. The ultimate goal is to gain more land for your benevolent kingdom, while fending off Templars, saracens, vikings, and huns. Weapons include the hidden broadsword, a huge sword which can retract into your metal armor, cavalry lances,longbows, crossbows, poleaxes, falchion, throwing burning tar jar, war hammer, boar spear, scimitar, throwing axe, cannon, trebuchet, maces, claymore. Eagles can be used to see over enemy castles and leaps of faiths would be from castle towers or cliffs. Side quests include jousting, killing Templars, retrieving stolen goods, saving people from witch trials, and protecting the common folk. When battling Templars, you can jump horse to horse by assassinating them. You can also be captured by the Templars and be put in the dungeons. Poison king’s goblets is another way to assassinate. Trumpeting sounds and the braveheart score. Based on Monty Python stuff, Braveheart, and typical knights in shining armor movies
Assassin’s Creed: Legion
Weapons include gladius, spatha, pilum, bow, slings, hidden pugio, javelin, crossbow, falx, dolabra, dart, onager, scissor, falcata. You are a gladiator, but you are bought out of slavery when an assassin spectator saw you face a bigger enemy through skill and stealth. You join the brotherhood and free the slaves of the Coliseum, freeing your mates. Then you become an Assassin Legionnaire to aid the republic. You have to face Hannibal and a bunch of elephants from the South. You can also assassinate Commodus. Gladiator soundtrack and elephant trumpeting. You wear the Russell Crowe Gladiator fit, or a Legionnaire’s armor. Based on Gladiator
Assassin’s Creed: Martial Arts
Literally just Enter the Dragon: The Game
Assassin’s Creed: Noir
You are an old weary assassin during the Roaring Twenties/Great Depression in NYC and Harlem. The main timeline (1920s-30s) is completely black and white like a noir film. In the past, you used to be a fun naive and stubborn young assassin. On one of your missions, you failed and accidentally revealed the location of your Brotherhood’s base to the Templars, leading to their deaths. Now, you live a solitary life drowned in alcohol and cigars and navigating the world of sex and crime. You decide to take one last mission from a sexy flapper lady for money. You have to use your parkour skills to find evidence and your detective skills to solve the murder of the flapper’s husband. You quickly link this to the mafia. You target many mafia members and corrupt Templar politicians. In the end, the flapper turned out to be a Templar and betrays you. You walk into a dining hall and twenty mobsters come out of the curtains and you get ambushed. A Scarface type battle ensues, but you are eventually put down by a shotgunner. In the present day, you get out of the Animus and realize that the Templar that killed you was one of the founders of Abstergo. You notice his picture in the hall and realize that Abstergo is Templar. You escape the building and assassinate everyone in your path, until you escape by the rooftops. You wear long trench coats and bowler hats, or long coat tail tuxedos with the assassin’s creed symbol as the collar, and drive cars. In NYC, you can climb up brownstone buildings and fire escapes, as well as skyscrapers and construction sites and steel beams. Weapons include the tommy gun, revolver, a cane sword, molotov cocktail, hidden ice pick and grappling hook, baseball bat, mp38 uzi, and brass knuckles. You can jump on top of cars and assassinate drivers, or get close to them in casinos. Imagine inviting a mob boss to dinner, going into the near empty bar, shaking his hand, activating the hidden ice pick, and then putting your hand on his neck and stabbing him cleanly, with no one noticing, and leading him to the alleyway, hiding the body in a pile of trash, and mission complete comes up on screen. It would have a godfather feel and jazz music. You can also visit Chicago, Al Capone, and the Valentine’s Day Massacre. Based on noir films like Scarface, Public Enemy, and Maltese Falcon.
Assassin’s Creed: Nomad
You are a hunnic Assassin during the Nomadic barbarian rule of Mongolia. Genghis Khan. Assassinate Gegeen Khan. Set up nomadic camps. War chants music. Recurve bows and horseback shooting. Genghis Khan and Kublai Khan appear and Attila and Marco Polo.
Assassin’s Creed: Red Star
You are an assassin in Communist Russia. It turns out that after the october revolution, the templars took over and made a communist regime, equally as evil and corrupt as the last one. You have to assassinate templars while staying under the radar of the government. Stealth is extremely important. Being spotted is nearly always fatal. Weapons include sickles, hammers, rifles, AK-47, and the hidden blade. Anthem march music and Atomic Blonde score. You wear a thick, furred Army coat and a Russian ushanka. You are a double spy in the Cold War. Templars try to cause nuclear tension and start the Cuban Missile Crisis. You also go to Dallas to see JFK. Based on Cold War propaganda films like The Hunt for Red October, James Bond films, and also Atomic Blonde. Parkour the frickin berlin wall
Assassin’s Creed: Regime
You are an Assassin in NK. You are the last assassin in North Korea after the Korean War. The reason the assassins are still alive is because of extreme secrecy and it is passed down father to son ever since the Korean War left North Korean assassins isolated from the rest of the world. Your grandfather assassinated Kim Il-Sung, and your father assassinated Kim Il-Jong, but the public never found out. It is your turn to assassinate Kim Jong-Un and hopefully dismantle the government for good and reunite with South Korea. You do this by hijacking the tvs and radios, making the assassination public. Then you must escape the palace, take a village of North Koreans, assassinate the border guards, and cross over through the demilitarized zone to South Korea. You have to assassinate templars while staying under the radar of the government. Stealth is extremely important. Being spotted is nearly always fatal. Weapons include the hidden blade, throwing stars, spear, two section staff, fan, etc. Propaganda sounds and kpop deadass jk. The game is played over all three generations. You wear an old Korean assassin cloak along with a red scarf. Quests include smuggling North Koreans out of the country, destroying cameras, getting food, raiding plutonium factories, assassinating government, and killing the Great Leaders.
Assassin’s Creed: Shogun/Samurai
You are a Japanese samurai assassin during Feudal/Empirical Japan. Weapons include katana, shuriken, hidden kunai and chain, etc. Traditional japanese music. You wear long bamboo armor, ninja robes, and pointed shogun or kendo helm. Your master is cut down by Templars, making you a Ronin. Assassinate Emperor. Based on movies like the Last Samurai
Assassin’s Creed: Slasher
Assassin’s Creed in the slasher film genre. Take place 1960-1990 in suburban towns. The assassin has to find the monster after discovering its victims (plays a similar role as the policeman in most slasher flicks). Assassinate the killer before the last victim. Weapons include standard slasher weapons like Jason’s machete, Freddy’s glove, a butcher knife, chainsaw, noose, etc
Assassin’s Creed: Sparta
You are a Spartan Assassin. You meet many philosophers, kings, and heroes. You travel to Athens, Sparta, and Crete, where an evil king rules. You are captured in an attempted assassination, and forced to do 12 great deeds for the king, leading to you hunting many animals and heroes. Your last deed is to slay the Minotaur in the Labyrinth. When you come out of servitude, you join the Siege of Troy. You hide in the Trojan Horse, pillaging Troy overnight. However, when you come back, you find your family murdered by the king. You assassinate the king, and then you must escape out of the labyrinth as the guards are on your tail, using a ball of string. Weapons include the kopis, doru, xiphos, javelins, bows, labrys, slings, ballista, greek fire, hidden xiphos, cestus gloves, harpe. Naval combat is included, such as ramming, boarding, and ballista-ing. Panpipes, lyres, and other stuff. You wear common bronze hoplite armor with a long leather skirt and a Greek plumed helmet. You can also participate in the olympic games. Based on movies like Troy and 300.
Assassin’s Creed: Underworld
You are John Wick, who is an assassin, but also an Assassin. John Wick turns out to be in the Assassin’s Creed universe. The criminal underworld is littered with rogue assassins and templars. The high table are templars for example. The only safe ground between them is the Continental. This is going to be basically the modern story of Assassin’s Creed. Abstergo is the founder of the high table. You have to assassinate Abstergo in order to stop the high table in the coming war, all while you are hunted down with billions of dollars on your head by other rogue Assassins. Your doggie is a playable character ha.
Assassin’s Creed: Union
You are a slave of the South during the start of the Civil War. Templars are confederates, who want to use easy labor to construct their new world order, while Assassins are Union and fight for freedom. One day, a band of Union assassins take over your masters land and free you. You decide to join the Assassins in order to free more slaves from the Deep South. You follow Abraham Lincoln and William Sherman and Ulysses Grant across the battlefields, including naval warfare. Weapons include musket, hidden bayonet, saber, artillery gatling gun, cutlass, cleaver, club, and pistol sword. Battle march/slave songs music. You wear a blue assassins creed Union uniform or a top hat and defeat red templars. You can fight off draft riots in NY (like in Gangs of New York) and free slaves from plantations (like in Django Unchained) and march to the sea. You fail to stop a templar, John Wilkes Booth, from killing Lincoln. Quests include fighting battles, fighting naval battles, getting supplies, freeing slaves, saving Lincoln, fighting off the draft riots, saving people from lynching, and send a message. Based on “Gangs of New York” and Django Unchained.
Assassin’s Creed: Vietcong
Fight against Vietcong Templars, liberate prisoners of war, rambo stuff. Based on vietnam war movies.
Assassin’s Creed: Vikings
You are a Norse assassin aboard a Viking longship. You must protect your village from invaders. You also travel to Iceland, Greenland, and Vinland (Newfoundland). In Vinland, you have to defend against Native Americans. Naval combat is included. Side quests include finding lost runestones, raiding a rival camp, and finding new land. Weapons include axe, claymore, hammer, spear, etc. Traditional Norse music and battle horns. Based on the relevant side of Thor movies
Assassin’s Creed: Wasteland
You are a Mad Max type road warrior Assassin after a nuclear apocalypse destroys society, making the Earth a gang riddled wasteland of oil and sand. While on the road looking to scrap by, a gang called the Templars tails you and pushes you off the road. They kill your dog and when they are about to kill you, you're hidden blade pops out and stabs them, making them run away. You chase them on the road for revenge for your dog. You get captured when you find the Capital were the rest of the templars live under the rule of the grandmaster. You escape, but take a piece of eden unknowingly. A whole war party chases you down the road. You have to jump from car to car. Eventually you take over the War Rig, with the grandmaster inside. You assassinate him and blow up the rest of the war party. Then you drive back to the capital and free the impoverished and radiation sick. Weapons include the hidden chrome blade, the double necked flamethrower guitar, sawn off double barrel shotgun, handgun, boom spear, hook and chain, chainsaw, hidden dart gun, wrench, harpoon, and dagger. You wear a torn and tattered black leather coat. Doof warrior and junkie xl music. Quests include scavenging, finding allies, killing Templars. You can jump vehicle to vehicle, doing assassinations this way too. You can climb big big rocks, small small sand dunes, the capital, big monster trucks, etc. Based on Mad Max, Twilight Zone, I Am Legend, etc.
Assassin’s Creed: Wild West
You are a Clint Eastwood-looking assassin who shimmered into the Wild Western boomtown by horse during the time of Expansionism and California Gold Rush. The templars own most of the towns in the area in order to access more oil and gold. You have to defeat corrupt sheriffs, robbers, hostile Natives, outlaws, drunk cowboys, greedy industrialists, and Gold Rush robber barons. You help the oppressed town people. You can fight in duels and saloon fights. You can travel across the West by horse or train, including prospecting during the Gold Rush. You can fire rifles at approaching riders from the rooftops. Side quests include sharpshooting mini games, accompanying a family traveling by wagon, substituting for a man to duel, eavesdropping on corrupt sheriffs, saving people from hanging, finding stolen gold for prospectors. You can also perform a roof assassination, where you use eagle vision to see through a roof, you jump up over the target, break through the wooden roof, and assassinate him. Weapons include a deck of cards to get the enemy’s attention, hidden blades, bowie knives, wrist revolvers (pistol whipping, shooting, and butting), hatchet, bow, lasso, musket, caltrops, sand grenade, and dynamite stick. Your outfit is a Mexican hooded poncho and a pointed down cowboy hat, with coats and leather armor. Western (Dollars, High Plains Drifter, Django) soundtrack. You can meet Jesse James, rob banks with your own gang, meet Billy the Kid. Based on spaghetti westerns like Eastwood films, Django Unchained, The Magnificent Seven. Templars are also interested in the Gold Rush because they believe a piece of Eden to be hidden in California.
Assassin’s Creed: Fourth Wall
You play as an assassin that breaks the 4th wall and holds ubisoft hq hostage until they make all of the games on this list
WW1 Assassin and Templar