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Album of the Year #20: Lil B - The Hunchback of BasedGod

(Note: This review exceeds Reddit’s 40,000 character limit for text posts so three additional comments are posted in this thread with the rest of the review. Sorting comments by “old” will bring them up for you in order.)
 

EPISODE I: THE HUNCHED BACK MENACE

 
Welcome to Old BasedWorld
Hurried crowds, sparse synths and ringing cathedral bells in the streets of Old BasedWorld set the scene for our journey. High above the town in the Old BasedWorld Cathedral, a young man with a hunched back dreams of a brighter tomorrow.
 
Staring Out My Window
“The only way you could really feel this pain is from the BasedGod” – From this opening line along with the somber instrumental accompanying it Lil B makes it clear that this project will be different from the hyphy material he’d been releasing since Black Ken. The BasedGod’s stirring musical backdrop allows Brandon to reminisce on the times he spent as a troubled youth staring out the windows of Old BasedWorld’s Cathedral (as pictured on the album cover), dreaming of a normal life with the rest of the citizens across the bridge in San Francisco New BasedWorld.
 
The Many Sides of a Genius
Using a compilation of voicemails taken directly from Old BasedWorld’s only working phone, Lil B uses these messages to convey his own message. The people leaving these voicemails were clearly important people in Brandon’s life and, one could say, are some of the “sides of genius” that helped him develop into the man he is today. It continues the album’s narrative of a brilliant soul whose talent and ambition are unnoticed by the outside world, with only those who are closest to him recognizing the genius within.
 
Ain’t Gon Pick Up
One of the people leaving a voicemail on “The Many Sides of a Genius” mentioned how Lil B never picks up his phone, so it’s only appropriate that the next song has B discussing why he chooses not to answer the phone in Old BasedWorld’s Cathedral. It also ties back in to the theme of unrecognized talent, with Brandon stating in the chorus “I ain’t gon pick up, nobody gives a fuck so I don’t give a fuck”. References to stomach pains and Crohn’s disease further highlight how B is feeling “sick to [his] stomach” of being disrespected: by the end of the song, the listener fully understands why Lil B wouldn’t be interested in picking up his phone.
 
Hunchback of BasedGod
One of the album’s great conceptual triumphs. Lil B states from the jump that this song is meant to be a set of instructions for the Hunchback of BasedGod for his eventual descent from his perch back into the town of Old BasedWorld and beyond. It’s still unclear whether or not Lil B himself is the Hunchback, the BasedGod, the Hunchback of BasedGod, or none of the above: the abstractness allows the listener to form their own perceptions and create their own story. Again, there’s a continuation of themes from the previous songs, with further references to stomach pains and issues of self-worth and meaninglessness coming from Lil B: with so much pain in this world, is it even worth it for the Hunchback to enter society? By the end of the song, Brandon affirms that it is, stating, “Do it and don’t just watch/ Step in the game and have fun/ We all townspeople, we one/”. As such, the Hunchback leaves the cathedral, passing through the cobblestone streets of Old BasedWorld while hushed onlookers stare silently, as he ventures out towards New BasedWorld.
 
Berkeley San Francisco Its the BasedGod
This song is delivered from the perspective of the Hunchback, as revealed in the first line of the first verse: “I got the hunched back from all the depression”. Themes of struggle from the previous tracks reemerge, but you get the sense that the Hunchback is beginning to build up his self-esteem, boasting how he refuses to conform to the looks and expectations of the other townsfolk. He also seems to have gotten past the lack of recognition that was hindering him on “The Many Sides of a Genius” and “Ain’t Gon Pick Up”, as he proudly exclaims, “Who cares if I’m famous?” This gives the Hunchback the confidence to finally travel across the bridge he so often observed from his cathedral window. The townspeople are stunned: the Golden Gate BasedWorld Bridge had been badly damaged and decayed for decades, with no one daring to cross in the fears that it would collapse. But the Hunchback’s persistence leads him to make it across unscathed.
 
Outer Mission Music
With his feet firmly set in New BasedWorld, the Hunchback visits the colony of Outer Mission, a tight-knit community of New BasedWorld inhabitants who are unsure of how to react to their visitor. Lil B spends much of this track describing his interactions with the colony’s locals, which include Justin Timberlake, Alex Rodriguez, and Lionel Messi as tribe members. He also manages to make the situation surrounding the identities of his disparate personalities even more confusing, stating, “Lil B, I’ve seen him in public/ Is that the Hunchback of BasedGod, or is that the BasedGod? It’s BasedGod/” Will we ever know the difference?
 
Wake Up Get High Go Back to Sleep
In spite of a renewed sense of confidence brought upon by his decision to leave his old life behind, not all is perfect in the Hunchback’s mind. On this joint (pun intended) he harkens back to his days in the cathedral, where he would spend his mornings smoking heavy doses of marijuana in order to numb the pain of his seclusion, often to the point of losing consciousness. It’s also worth noting that the only weed that grows naturally in Old BasedWorld is mids, so the Hunchback would need to smoke a significant amount to achieve the desired effect.
 
Video Game That I Still Play
The irony in the title of this song is that the “video game” the BasedGod is referencing here is in fact a metaphor for his own life’s journey. As he so aptly states during the chorus: “My life is like a video game/ It’s been so weird, but I still play”. The fact of the matter is, Lil B could have chosen to rage quit this game of life long ago, but his perseverance has brought him to a new place of inner peace within the confines of New BasedWorld, even if the townsfolk are still unsure of how to respond to their new neighbor.
 
I Rather Die Then Go Home
At the end of the previous song, the Hunchback makes reference to an incident where he visited the Café Au Coquelet, a boutique restaurant in New BasedWorld. Upon his arrival, he received a similar reaction to those he used to receive in his homeland: “I go to restaurants, people stop smiling”. While some of the townspeople have begun to appreciate his presence, many of the other New BasedWorld residents still recognize his outsider status and continue to shun him as a result. This song is B’s response, with a firm affirmation that he would rather die than have to go back to the life of isolation he led in the Old BasedWorld Cathedral, where he wasn’t really living life to begin with. That said, the song’s mistitling of based comrade The-Dream’s original line of “I’d rather die than go home” as “I rather die then go home” leaves the Hunchback’s true intentions up for interpretation.
 
Crying in the Club
After finishing a five-course meal at the boutique, B ventures out to the party district of New BasedWorld, where he surprisingly gets admitted to one of the most exclusive night clubs in the land. As he observes the scene, the crushing reality of the differences between himself and the other clubgoers becomes apparent. A single tear is shed, followed by another, and another, until the BasedGod is in a state of full-blown emotional distress. In spite of his condition, he makes it known that he isn’t ashamed of wearing his heart on his sleeve, openly admitting in the chorus: “I don’t really care if I hurt myself, I don’t really care who sees”. This unyielding display of raw emotion brings the music and dancing to a halt. All eyes are now fixated on the strange being with the tear-stained T-shirt and the disfigured spine. He lets out a desperate plea: “I just want a hug…” To the surprise of the Hunchback, the residents of New BasedWorld collectively embrace him, looking past his outer deformities to recognize the beautiful soul that exists within. Historians would later acknowledge this moment as the primary catalyst for the BasedWorld Revolution™.
 
 

EPISODE II: THE COLD WARS

 
Voyage to Berkeley California
Meanwhile, down in the town of Old BasedWorld, the townsfolk slept restlessly, their dreams invaded by shadowy fake based figures digging away at their souls. Every day, people would wake and stare at the Old BasedWorld Cathedral. Why was the Hunchback not ringing the bells that had kept the evil spirits of the fake based realm out of their lives? It was then they realized that the Hunchback had crossed the sacred bridge and ventured to New BasedWorld. Frantic to reconcile with the gatekeeper they had long taken for granted, a group of the townspeople decide to bravely seek out the BasedGod in the hopes that he will return. However, they recognize that crossing the BasedWorld Bridge is something no mortal man is capable of doing and living to tell the tale. Using a secret map rumored to have been drawn up by Captain 66 himself, a group of citizens board a modest ship to cross the San Francisco BasedWorld Bay on a warm summer’s eve. Will they survive? Only time will tell.
 
Across the Sea
And here, ladies and gentlemen, we are presented with the greatest plot twist this side of the Fingerpoke of Doom: It turns out Lil B is not actually the Hunchback and/or the BasedGod after all.
 
Perhaps we should have known all along...
 
Indeed, unbeknownst to the townspeople (who themselves had just assumed all three entities were combined as one person), Lil B has remained in BasedWorld all along in disguise. About halfway into their journey across the Bay, Lil B’s resentment towards his shipmates and their longing for the Hunchback’s return gets the best of him, and the violent persona exhibited on tracks like “Murder Rate” and “Domestic Violence Case” overtakes Lil B’s natural pacifist tendencies. In a fit of rage, he attacks them, “knocking them off the boat” into the shark-infested waters and keeping all of the remaining LifeVests to himself. B himself recognizes the consequences of his actions, ending the song by saying, “This darkness… It’s scary.” Nonetheless, he refuses to be stopped in his mission to visit New BasedWorld and confront the Hunchback all on his own.
 
Where Is the Potion
Having arrived on the shores of New BasedWorld, Lil B ventures into town. Knowing that the only way to find the elusive Hunchback is through the townspeople who may have caught a glimpse of him, he travels to the aforementioned nightclub, with floors still drenched in the BasedGod’s tears from earlier, asking, “Where is the potion?” The response he’s given comes in the form of several bottles of liquor, which quickly dispel any notions of anxiety or self-doubt that may have stopped Lil B from completing his mission. A few of the club’s premium members willingly show him the spots around town where they had spotted the Hunchback, but any further clues of his whereabouts are hard to come by. Before they know it, they find themselves at one of the many riverbanks in New BasedWorld, where a celebration of the BasedGod’s glory is in full swing.
 
Riverdance
This instrumental is what Lil B and the clubgoers heard as they made their way to the bank of the river. Speaking with more of the natives, Lil B learns more of the Hunchback’s travels and experiences in New BasedWorld and begins to put the pieces together in his mind for where the BasedGod may be headed next.
 
Wolves and Snakes
As Lil B continues to plot his course, the BasedGod, who has just finished eating a salad on his way to the colony of Chaddick, senses a disturbance in the Based Force, feeling as though him and his hunched back may be in grave danger. He ponders on the wolves and the snakes that he was forced to deal with in his past life and reflects on the growth he’s experienced since leaving the dreaded, darkened halls of the Cathedral. In spite of this, he can’t help but shake the feeling that, like in the proverbial rear-view mirror, one of these wolves and/or snakes may be closer than they appear…
 
Meeting on UC Berkeley Campus Today
Undeterred, the Hunchback makes his way to UC Berkeley, New BasedWorld’s sole institution of higher learning. After giving a spirited 90 minute lecture on the power of positivity (modeled after previous lectures at such high class institutions as NYU,Carnegie Mellon and Princeton), the BasedGod is greeted by a mass of adoring students at the university. The male students beg for the BasedGod to fuck their bitches, and said bitches are more than willing to oblige. In a grand spectacle, the Hunchback has consensual sex with all 1,000 of the college’s female attendees while this instrumental blares out of speakers across the campus, being awarded with a trophy as a result of his success.
 
Artistic or Autistic
Elsewhere in New BasedWorld, Lil B attempts to strategize his next move. However, planning the escapade is made difficult thanks to B’s second most potent Internet distraction after his Twitter feed: Reddit. Going through a series of faked based comments on the hiphopheads subreddit, Lil B is particularly struck by a comment suggesting that he may in fact be suffering from the neurological disorder autism. The assertion is an eye-opening moment for him: after all, the elevated levels of lead found in Old BasedWorld’s drinking water had been a concern amongst the town’s scientists for years, and his own behaviors and thought patterns seemed to align relatively well with the common symptoms of the condition. After a brief moment of solemnity, Lil B realizes that his immaculate catalog of music has been made possible because of who he is, and if he is autistic, it is an essential component of his artistic output. This song is the result of this revelation.
 
Free 03
Our story continues as the BasedGod chooses to use his newfound fame and glory to give back to the New BasedWorld community. He begins volunteering at the New BasedWorld Penitentiary, espousing his worldview and giving advice to the inmates on how to make positive contributions to society after they have served their time. One particular inmate catches his eye: a fellow hip hop artist named 03 Greedo, who was arrested a few years earlier in a drug trafficking scheme. The Hunchback’s conversations with the young man have a profound impact on him, and in the weeks and months to come, Greedo becomes the model prisoner for other inmates to aspire to be, with intentions of joining the ministry upon his release. The BasedGod, proud of what he was able to accomplish, promises to dedicate a song on his new 50 song mixtape to Greedo.
 
Rhode Island
Rhode Island, officially the State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations, is a state in the New England region of the northeastern United States. It is the smallest U.S. state by area, the seventh least populous, but is also the second most densely populated. Rhode Island is bordered by Connecticut to the west, Massachusetts to the north and east, and the Atlantic Ocean to the south via Rhode Island Sound and Block Island Sound. It also shares a small maritime border with New York. Providence is the state capital and most populous city in Rhode Island.
 
As Rhode Island is located on the opposite side of the continent from Old and New BasedWorld, it has nothing to do with this story other than this brief mention of its existence.
 
I’m Depressed Again
While the Hunchback is continuing to make great strides in improving the lives of the people in New BasedWorld, he continues to be fazed by an ever-growing sense of something troubling being on the horizon. A dark evil is emerging that he cannot foresee, and he worries that by the time he learns what this evil may be, it will be too late. This sends the BasedGod back into a spiraling depression, one not felt since the last day he had spent alone in the cathedral. He warns his closest confidants of the impending doom, saying, “Real talk… Feel it through your heart. Feel it through the spirit. You can feel it through the dark, cold as ever.”
 
Café Au Coquelet
At the same time as the Hunchback is experiencing this sense of dread, Lil B has made his way to Café Au Coquelet, one of the first spots in New BasedWorld that was graced by the power and the glory of the BasedGod. Lil B immediately detects the Hunchback’s prior presence in the vicinity: all of the restaurant’s guests are acting unusually positive and based towards one another, and the only dish that anyone has ordered over the past week has been the clams casino. Lil B also recognizes that the music playing in the background of the restaurant (the instrumental that is this song) was created by the BasedGod. Enraged, he stands up on the restaurant tables and begins to lambast the townsfolk for having fallen for the lies and deceit of a false prophet. He dictates a new philosophy, beginning by disposing of the food everybody has already ordered and teaching them how to cook for themselves. Before long, the entire restaurant is cooking to “Like a Martian”. A growing sect of New BasedWorld begins to emerge in objection to the Hunchback’s teachings, with Lil B and the swag movement as their new leader.
 
Downtown Berkeley Protest
Back in the colony of Berkeley, the BasedGod is gathering his followers together for a celebration of optimism and goodwill unto others. His new instrumental track plays as the Hunchback’s followers enjoy the festivities. It is at this moment that the BasedGod feels a searing pain encompass his entire being, and he recognizes that this is the moment he has been fearing for the past few weeks: the evil has arrived. A mass of residents from the other New BasedWorld colonies have descended upon the party with torches and handguns. Dressed in pink shirts, tiny pants and Vans sneakers, they march to the center of the crowd in unison, yelling nonsensical phrases such as “Figaro!” and “Martha Stewart!” as the frightened followers of the Hunchback look on. At the front of the mob is the leader, the enigmatic Lil B. He flashes a slight smile at the BasedGod, who stares directly back into the eyes of his former student. As the crowd of pretty residents begin to hurl insults and grievances towards the based residents, Lil B raises one hand, and the noise stops. Then, he begins to walk away. B’s worshipers follow him out of the city square in silent unison. Many of the Hunchback’s flock wonder if this is the end of the madness. However, the BasedGod knows deep down inside that this is just the beginning.
 
 

EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE BITCH

 
Bring the BasedGod and Lil B Gifts
This is a Cold War, and we know what each side is fighting for. The New BasedWorld citizens have been divided into an even split, with half of the townsfolk (now calling themselves the “Task Force”) following the ways of the Hunchback and the other half (now calling themselves the “Bitch Mob”) committing themselves to the teachings of Lil B. In a frantic attempt to prove the superiority of one leader over the other, the townspeople begin to bestow luxurious gifts and rewards upon their idols in an attempt to make one appear more grandiose than the other. Lil B relishes in his newfound fame, gladly accepting a plethora of PlayStation 2 and Xbox 360 games from his fans, along with a fully registered copy of FL Studio to allow him to produce beats on the same level as the BasedGod. Meanwhile, on the other side of the village, the Hunchback seems uncomfortable embracing his new role as a worshipped deity. Having become accustomed to people ignoring him or being flat-out disgusted by his appearance, the adjustment to now becoming the leader of thousands of men is one that is not made easily.
 
Body Shaming
The opposing sides of New BasedWorld’s population quickly transition from honoring their respective leaders to creating smear campaigns against the opposition. One of the Bitch Mob’s most talented computer hackers manages to secure nude photographs of the Hunchback and distribute them online, highlighting the embarrassing weight gain that the BasedGod has endured over the past 5 years. The Hunchback is at first distraught upon hearing the news: “Why are they body shaming me? Why would they say all these mean things?” It is only when the BasedGod taps into his creamy center, where all the gooey happy-lovin' goo sits that allows him to be the nicest, most compassionate person he’s ever been, that he’s able to let the world know that he will not fall down so easy. He releases this song on his MySpace as a rebuttal, saying, “There's no reason to bully people and make fun of folks”. The Task Force immediately lauds the song as the perfect response to the scandal, while the Bitch Mob lashes out at the lack of trap drums and celebrity-based adlibs.
 
Stopped Talkin’ But I Still Rap
“So self-conscious, you feel me?”: Despite the approval of his comrades, the BasedGod is unable to shake the ever-persistent sense of self-hatred that is being exacerbated by the actions of the Bitch Mob. He feels his mind regressing to a prior state of fear and insecurity akin to that of his days spent in isolation in the Cathedral. Deep inside, the Hunchback finds himself in the midst of an existential crisis: how can one speak on the benefits of positivity and self-love when one does not truly love thyself? What would the consequences be of allowing this negativity to manifest itself in real time? Surely, an admission of hopelessness would spell defeat for the Task Force, allowing Lil B and his army of pretty townsfolk to rule the land for all eternity. But it would also be hypocritical for the BasedGod to continue to preach the Gospel of Based when his mind is not in a based state of being. In a move that would prove to be one of the most shocking of the Cold War, the Hunchback gathers his followers in the town square to announce that he will be taking an oath of silence until peace can be found between the two factions of New BasedWorld, capping off his decree with the debut of his ‘final’ song, “Stopped Talkin’ But I Still Rap”. The crowd gasps and devolves into hysteria, with thousands pleading for the Hunchback to reconsider, rightly worried over what would become of the based movement without the voice of its sole originator. But the BasedGod is persistent. He silently walks through the crowd, hugging each of his based brethren (and consensually face-fucking some of the females) before departing, possibly for good. Some time after midnight, he successfully crosses the Based Bridge and returns to Old BasedWorld, making his way back to the Cathedral without a single soul noticing his presence. He travels to the deepest, darkest depths of the Cathedral’s caverns, located miles beneath the Earth’s surface, where he begins an indefinite period of contemplation and meditation. This sequence of events would prove to be a milestone of the BasedWorld Revolution™, and would be forever immortalized in the cover art for the Where Did the Sun Go? mixtape.
 
Intermission
It was a bad time for both Old and New BasedWorld. The Hunchback just stayed inside his Cathedral and he never came out. People said his brain was infected by fake based devils. The Task Force hurt the most of all: without their leader, they crumbled and succumbed to the will of the Bitch Mob. Lil B’s tyrannical rise to power was all but complete. In the months that followed, he would expand his territorial control, conquering the villages of Albany and East Oakland and even sending troops to claim regions of land as far away as Hawaii and Nepal.
 
Nearly a full year after the disappearance of the BasedGod, Lil B’s armies waged war on Old BasedWorld. The BasedWorld Bridge was destroyed, leaving Lil B and his followers (who controlled the naval fleets) as the only ones who had access to both sides of the territory. After taking most of its citizens hostage and establishing a new structure of government with Lil B at the helm, the Bitch Mob began to formulate its Ultimate Bitch Plan to capture the Hunchback. One night, they rushed the Old BasedWorld Cathedral, setting it ablaze and burning the once-iconic structure to the ground in the hopes of finding the charred body of the BasedGod buried underneath the rubble. When they failed to retrieve the body, the contingent of pretty boys and girls was ordered by Lil B to venture underground, as an ancient prophecy had foretold the Hunchback’s journey to the center of the Earth. Armed with assault rifles of all varieties, they began their descent into the depths of the caverns.
 
However, the deeper they traveled, the more they became disillusioned by their actions, and the actions of their once-beloved leader Lil B. They did not realize that the closer they got to the Hunchback, the more they were swayed by his righteousness and his way of being. Soon, they were no more than a few hundred yards from locating the BasedGod. It was at this moment that they had a great awakening, recognizing the error of their ways and freeing themselves from the spell that had been placed on them by Lil B. They abandoned their mission, instead choosing to return to the surface without the Hunchback. Lil B, furious at the group’s reluctance to complete their task, began to chastise his former followers, and prepared to issue one of his infamous curses upon them, one which would result in certain death. Having become completely overwhelmed with the guilt and the shame of their exploits as part of Lil B’s army (and also acknowledging the fact that none of them would ever win an NBA championship now without signing to Golden State), they instead turned the guns Lil B had given to them on themselves, committing mass suicide on top of the remains of the Old BasedWorld Cathedral. Thousands of Old BasedWorld onlookers stared in paralyzing shock as the sound of hundreds of guns discharged at once. What followed was several hours of silence, as Lil B, covered in the blood of his former troops, coldly stared at the mass of dead bodies, trying his best to process what had just taken place.
 
 

EPISODE IV: A NEW HO(PE)

 
The Waterfront West Berkeley at Night
Meanwhile, on the other side of the Bay, most of the former Task Force members still remaining in New BasedWorld have all but accepted their fates, purchasing clothing that is too tight for them to wear comfortably and listening to the government-approved “Cooking Music” playlist on a constant loop. A small contingent of Hunchback loyalists remain, holding private meetings in the basement of the Café Au Coquelet and listening to the “Based Music” playlist in shrouded secrecy. Upon learning that Lil B and a commission of his troops had left to invade Old BasedWorld, the few remaining Task Force members felt it was safe enough to worship the Hunchback out in the open one last time. As most of the Bitch Mob members who had crossed the BasedWorld Bay with Lil B had come from the village of West Berkeley, the BasedGod’s loyal comrades choose the village’s Waterfront area as the gathering place for the ceremony. Unbeknownst to any of the group’s members, the mass suicides in Old BasedWorld were taking place at the exact same time as the celebration in New BasedWorld was commencing. The Task Force members rejoice, harmoniously singing the BasedGod’s favorite songs of worship: “B.O.R. (Birth of Rap)”, “The Age of Information” and “No Black Person Is Ugly” are belted out towards the heavens. Suddenly, the youngest of the Task Force’s members (who goes by the name of u/insabnma) feels a twinge underneath his bare feet. He looks down at the ground and notices that he has stepped on a golden USB drive, encrusted with diamonds and embroidered with the word “BASED” in all caps. The curious group of based boys and girls procure a laptop and, upon plugging the drive in, are amazed to find a .zip folder of 13 unreleased instrumentals credited as being produced by the BasedGod. Even more amazingly, the first song is entitled “The Waterfront West Berkeley at Night”: the exact place and time of day that they are performing their ritual. The Task Force members ecstatically listen to the new music, with several being driven to the point of involuntary orgasm. Throughout the night, word spreads throughout New BasedWorld of the drive’s existence, and suddenly, the followers of the Hunchback have a renewed sense of hope.
 
Games of Berkeley and Magic Cards
The next evening, thousands of Task Force members, old and new, join together in the town square of Berkeley, the last place that the Hunchback was seen alive. A Task Force party has commenced, with various games being played and the Based Music playlist blasting from the colony’s speakers. As it is nearing midnight, the townspeople are each given a magic life card, rumored to be the same life cards that were discussed in the BasedGod’s legendary philosophical diatribe [“Life on Earth”](). At the stroke of 12, the second of the BasedGod’s 13 secret instrumentals is played, as the crowd enthusiastically chants “Thank You BasedGod” along to the beat. The expectation is that the Hunchback will hear their prayer and reemerge by the end of the song. However, this was not to be the case: the instrumental ends, with the BasedGod nowhere to be found. For a moment, the Task Force is disheartened, wondering if the signs pointing to a return of the Hunchback were too good to be true. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, a shooting star flies across the Berkeley sky, the brightest and most brilliant star that anyone in the colony has ever seen. It continues to arc across the northwestern skyline and appears to land in the village of Albany, a formerly based territory which has been overrun with members of the Bitch Mob. The Task Force is again filled with a renewed sense of hope at this discovery, as they courageously follow the signs that could lead them to the Hunchback’s holy ascension.
 
Walking Through Albany California
Upon arriving in Albany, the Task Force members notice a contingent of Bitch Mob members huddled around a large crater, approximately one mile in diameter. Evidently, this is where the shooting star had landed. One of the senior members of the tribe is examining the star, which, contrary to its once large and brilliant appearance, has been reduced to the size of a small rock. Several Bitch Mob members now make their way into the crater to examine the fallen star. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, the once-dead star explodes into thousands of pieces, each piece shooting out towards the heads of a Bitch Mob member (though some less fortunate members wind up getting hit in the balls). When the star touches each member, it instantly uploads the third of the BasedGod’s secret instrumentals directly into their cerebral cortex. The Bitch Mob members are at first displeased at the lack of poorly mixed 808s and rattling hi-hats, but soon after, they begin to comprehend and enjoy the BasedGod’s alternative production style. Once the song has finished, they have all been converted into full-fledged comrades of the Task Force. The Berkeley delegation of Task Force welcomes their new brothers and sisters into the fold, and the group marches on to spread the word of the Hunchback’s return to the other villages.
 
The Sound of Being Bullied
While this is all occurring in the BasedWorld territories, something else entirely is beginning to unfold in the far away kingdom of Detroit, Michigan. Teejay Witherspoon, the Bitch Mob’s certified rarest hacker, leans back in his chair and slyly grins. His successful exploitation of the BasedGod a year ago has proven to be a major turning point in the young man’s life. His notoriety has allowed him to start a rap career of his own, with several music videos on YouTube having gone viral throughout the past 12 months. His loyalty to the Bitch Mob has been unquestioned, and he has since been promoted to a senior position within the fold. As he clicks his way through a darkweb laundering scheme one evening, he leaves to take a shit and, upon returning to his computer, notices that a mysterious golden USB drive has been plugged into the laptop. Only one file exists on the drive: an audio file entitled “The Sound of Being Bullied.flac”. Teejay curiously loads the file into VLC, and the instant the song begins, he is assaulted with a rush of crushing despair and depression. The title of the song spoke for itself. Teejay is experiencing the totality of the Hunchback’s negative emotions that had been fueled by his prior actions, but even more intensely, and as the emotions begin to amplify, he next notices that his physical being is being affected as well. His body is shaking uncontrollably, his skin is beginning to peel, his eyes are popping out of his skull. After four minutes and seven seconds of agonizing torture, his entire being bursts into flames, unable to handle the power of the BasedGod’s wrath. The song ends.
 
No Longer Afraid of the Dark
It’s dark. The air is still. The ground is hot. Water drips from the ceiling. The Hunchback, in a deep state of reflection, hasn’t moved a muscle for over 12 months. His shriveled body has been starved of nourishment and exercise, but fortunately, his weight gain has had the positive effect of having enough fat stored to keep him alive. The amount of based energy needed to have maintained this state of being has aged the BasedGod considerably. He has been devoid of almost any sense of perception for at least a few months. A faint glow radiates from his being. He has concentrated his powers to what was thought to be an unattainable degree of positivity. Before his extended withdrawal from society, the negative side of the force was something that the Hunchback struggled to put out of mind. At the level of based he now encompasses, the light of positivity is too grand for the BasedGod to fail. He is no longer afraid of the dark. And that’s because the dark no longer exists. The cavern has been filled with his based radiance. And the Hunchback is almost ready to return and spread this radiance throughout the land.
 
Nepal Wants the BasedGod
All across BasedWorld, shooting star sightings have been abound, and thousands upon thousands of Bitch Mob members have been converted to Task Force faithful. Even beyond the traditional confines of BasedWorld, rare star sightings have also been seen in the Bitch Mob’s disparate properties. A star lands in the Bitch Mob’s Nepalian expansion territory. After having its people cleansed with the power of the BasedGod’s sixth secret instrumental track, Nepal adopts a new constitution which entails all of its citizens to embrace the Hunchback’s teachings of optimism and self-love.
 
Taxi Around Town
The streets of Old BasedWorld have been in dire need of repair ever since the Bitch Mob ransacked the colony, but that doesn’t stop Travis, one of the land’s only remaining horse-drawn taxi drivers, from making a buck. One evening, he picks up a mysterious hooded figure in one of the town’s more dangerous districts. The man enters the carriage, greeting the driver with two words: “Hello, Travis.” The driver says nothing. The horses begin their trek through the streets, passing by a row of burning buildings. Travis breaks his silence. “It’s lit,” he says. “The buildings, that is. There’s only a few Bitch Mob members left at this point but they always blow these things up.” The figure feels more comfortable speaking to the driver: “I hear you got the nomination”. It dawns on Travis that this person must be almost exactly one year behind the times: has he ever even heard of Cardi B? Regardless, he plays along. “Straight up. Won’t be long now.” The figure smiles, quipping, “Well, I hope you win.” He then proceeds to remove his hood. Travis looks back and momentarily gasps. His composure returns soon thereafter. Unsure of how to proceed, he attempts to continue the conversation. “I… I read about you in the papers… How are you?” Knowing he’s referring to the suicides, the figure replies, “Oh, it’s nothing new, I got over that.” They sit in silence for the remainder of the ride. Soon, the horses come upon their destination, the edge of the BasedWorld Bay. The figure gets out of the car. Turning to Travis, he asks, “How much was it?” Travis is nearly speechless. He lets out one final Auto-Tuned “So long………..LA FLAME!” and the horses gallop off.
 
Berkeley California Before Lil B
A massive cleaning project has commenced throughout Berkeley. The townspeople have nearly all been converted to followers of the BasedGod by this point, and in a unanimous vote, the colony’s leaders choose to rid Berkeley of any and all trace of Lil B and his formerly effective propaganda. Murals are whitewashed, statues are torn down, and portraits are removed from public spaces as the eighth of the BasedGod’s 13 secret instrumentals is played on a loop. The many books proclaiming Lil B’s omnipotence are collectively burned to ash in the town square. Even saying the name “Lil B” is punishable by fine of up to $30,000, equivalent to the amount of money Lil B had charged for features (in contrast to the Hunchback’s extremely generous $0.01 minimum fee for a verse). The townspeople are once again a tight-knit unit of based human beings living their best lives. It was just like Berkeley California before Lil B.
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Pexuu Vrasro - Butler/Security Head/Ex-Shadow/Ex-Knight of the Sith

Name: Pexuu Vrasro Weight: 104kg/230lbs Age: 63
Species: Zabrak Hair: None but a short close cut beard. Height: 6'3"
Sex: Male Eye Color: Blue Faction: Independent
Personality: A quiet man to say the least, says what he means and means what he says. A melancholy feel can sometimes seem to hang about his person if he is not careful. Often seemingly quite open with those that he works with and those near to him, but there is something he keeps close to the chest. A burden that he carries with him to current day.
Appearance: He stands rather tall, though will make an effort to not look imposing in his stance. His eyes are a soft blue color, giving what could be a fearsome visage a friendlier feel. His right arm is a lovely creation of tech and art, cybernetic in build and rather well matches his general work attire, with a grey black finish. Clothing would be a fitted suit, though he will not wear the suit jacket unless it is an official setting, typically will be wearing his vest, clean pressed button up and slacks. He is powerfully but efficiently built, his muscles like iron from years of training and fighting, and he walks smoothly and purposefully. The horns that crown his bald head are stark white at their base, each coming to a black point. There are a few scars here and there on him, but none to discomforting, the look of a person that he seen their fair share and come out the other end.
The suit is actually a recent change of pace for him, but it is welcome compared to his prior attire. Now that he is working aboard The Ace of Staves, there is a certain level of professionalism that is to be expected.
Strengths: A consummate fighter to the core, given not only his background from when he was trained to be a Jedi Knight, but also his bevy of undercover work as a Shadow, along with almost twenty years of mercenary work mixed in has made him a rather capable individual. His style of combat is rather straight forwards, brutal and to the point, but efficient. There is no over-zealousness but also no wasted movement, perhaps in a way it might look smooth, like running water. If you were to ask him though, he would say that it is his drive, his will to succeed that is his most valuable asset. Vehicles will break down, weapons will jam, plans will go awry, but no matter what, as long as he has had the will to push onward despite the pain and difficulty, Pexuu knows he will succeed.
Weakness: His greatest flaw is the fear of his past, in a way it bears down on him, perhaps it is what drives him so hard to succeed, the idea that he lost so much. That he lost a part of himself, something he can't quite remember, but he knows it was vital. That and more, many a night he will wake from the nightmare of his past, and the phantoms in his dreams haunt him to this day. The specters that nip at his heels, all of it he bears, and one day, it might just be that which bears him down. Till he is stuck in the muddled murky water of his past, unable to step forwards.

Backstory

Pexuu was born on Iridonia, a home world of the Zabrak race, but it was not the home he grew to know. When he was still just a babe his parents produced him for testing, and he showed a modicum of force sensitivity. Not much, but enough to garner some light interest from the Jedi there. And so the only home he ever came to know was Deneba, and the Temple itself. From a young age it was clear that he was not terribly adept with the force, much to his teachers mild displeasure. He learned quickly that if others had to work hard to achieve results, then he would just work twice as hard... three times as hard. Whatever it took, he would do, and then some more. He grew slowly, but surely, coming into his own as the years of foundation building began to pay off. He managed to pass his trials when he came of age, though the experience left him changed. If there was anything that he excelled at during his years, it had been his mental and physical discipline. This very fact no doubt allowed him to push through his dangerous trial.
His trials were his most traumatic experience, beginning them he found himself on Tatooine. After the first week of his trial he was traveling across the desert, making his way with Arina, a fellow student and good friend, to the meet up point. When they were attacked by a Krayt dragon, in the ensuing combat he received wounds across his chest and back. Scared to death as he fought, but more afraid that if he failed, Arina wouldn't be able to face it alone, nor would help get there in time to save them, so he fought. Alas, his right arm was caught in the jaws of the dragon midst the fight, his saber dropping to the ground. He felt a saber in his free hand a moment later, and drove it home through the eye of the Krayt without a second thought. With a shudder it fell still, even as he fell away from it missing his right arm. Pexuu was near death, but was quickly rushed to a bacta tank, saving his life. He would wake in the temple a week later, being told that he had passed his trials. Looking down at his scars and missing arm many would have despaired... he just commented that he could now ask people for a hand more often.
Years went by, and he retrained himself from the ground up with only one arm. Master Juvoh was his constant companion as he grew, helping him at nearly every other turn. Remastering Form III: Soresu which he had been quite proficient in before, and then moving on to learning Form V: Shien/Djem So, also know as, 'The Way of the Krayt Dragon'. He continued to build his body strenuously and immerse himself deeper in the force. Coming to find that having to work around only having one arm as a boon to his life compared to being a crutch. He was never more pleased than the moment that he was delivered the pearl by Master Juvoh from the Krayt dragon he had killed. It was a great gift to be given, but one wrought with weight, because that also turned into a welcome to a different lifestyle.
Not long after he became a Jedi Knight his new life began, and it was working with the Shadows in an effort to discover and root out the growing Sith threat. Nowhere was that threat greater than where it, astonishingly, was growing in the open on Corellia. So he set to his task, along with many others working their own routes to their collective goal of infiltration. His own avenue was fraught with danger and near brushes with death time and time again. From when he first landed there under an alias of 'Alf Srunil', to taking on work for people who were no doubt close associates to CorSec and through them, the Payne family. It was during this part of his operation that he started to take greater and greater risks, not only risking bodily harm, but his mind as well. The line between the mission and his own personal goal became more and more muddled as he went deeper.
After months of work he had even managed to finally make his way into CorSec itself. Revealing himself to have some skill in the force had him more or less handed off to the Knights of the Sith. At this point he was in far to deep to even hope of backing out, every now and then he would still get out short messages of what he was doing and his progress, receiving reports back just as sporadically. During this time he was formally inducted into the Knights, showing capability in not only the force but the blade as well from their perspective. It was at this point that Pexuu had made some hard choices, about how much he was willing to risk, how much he would give up to succeed. He let himself go, at first it was just a light slip, but soon he was sliding towards the edge, and it was there where he found the will to do what had to be done. Sinking himself into the mission and what he had to do to get deeper into their ranks he gave into the Darkside. It became his constant enemy, one that tugged at his mind more and more everyday. Pexuu still knew what he had to do, what his purpose was there, and what was at risk if he failed. Day after day, week after week he worked to grow in rank and standing, and so he did, till one day he stood only a few steps away from the very problem that lay at the heart of this new Sith Order. It was not to long after that he received his final order from the Shadows, that he and the few other Shadows that were splintered throughout the Knights had to carry out before the major offensive.
To eliminate John Lightkiller was their mission, Shadows were here and there among the Knights each with their own small goals to complete. He and a few others took on preparations for the landing of the Liberation force, and that would require some... disruption. While the others went about doing their own part Pexuu decided to place himself at a core spot. Quite literally at the main communication center in the midst of CorSec, where the Knights had been handling things since the potential of being attacked had come onto the table. So when the moment came, and he heard that Lightkiller had been struck he made his own move. Detonating preset charges throughout the coms array, along with slaying any left alive within the small inner compound. To ensure that it would sow disarray, a prepared mix of conflicting messages had been sent just before the explosion, which should help to not only jam up communications, but also to delay any reaction the Knights of the Sith could manage.
What ensued after that moment still causes Pexuu's hands to tremble to this day when he thinks about it. The madness of it all... they just kept coming, the blood, guts and bile turned the whole scene into a muddled painting of death. His emotions raged as he fought to live, even though his mind knew his job was done, his body would not have it. With every fiber of his being he wanted to live, to see that he had done right, that what he and his companions had given so much for would come to fruition. It was in that chaos that he lost a part of himself, something important, perhaps it was some last piece of his innocence. The part that you hold on to no matter what, the part that grounds you in a reality where there must always be some good, no matter all the vileness that comes your way. It was in those halls where he had that part of him ground to dust, just as he destroyed those around him just the same. He did what he had to do to survive, and survive he did, but it was not what he had wanted it to be. Pexuu still remembers looking at himself, seeing the anger, the rage, the blood, it was all to much, he was no Jedi, no conquering blade of justice... he was just as dirty as those that he was killing.
He ran, though it shames him to this day he ran, even while the fight raged on around him. In those next weeks of on and off fighting he forced himself to keep moving. His days would go from relative quiet, to murderous combat, and back. He fought with fury brooking on madness at times, but he couldn't stop, not till it was done. The day came that it was over, they had won... the liberation force had fought a bloody bitter battle, but Crixus was slain... and they had won. Yet Pexuu knew in his heart that he had lost just as surely. If he returned to the Shadows, the Jedi, any of them would see what he had become... how far he had fallen, no matter the reason, what he had done was done. So he fled, huddled as a stowaway in a little vessel, away he went, no destination in mind, only to be gone from this planet, to be gone from what he had wrought... from what he had become.
In the years following Pexuu would hide in the outer rim, moving from planet to planet, never staying for long. A month here, a month there, always taking odd jobs, from working as a mercenary, to cooking on shipping barges. He fought the occasional battle and scuff here an there, but since he had left Corellia he had not used the force. Whether it be in large or small ways, the only thing he constantly did was repress it, to push it down and hide it away. He did not want to be found, to have to go back, whether it was his fear of what they would do to him, or even more so if they might forgive him. No, he learned to survive his own way, the Knights of the Sith had given him many things, one being a new right arm. CorSec cybernetics at its finest, they had made him a stunning replacement for the lost limb not to long after he had joined them. He had burnished the CorSec markings off it and buffed them smooth when he had the chance, wanting nothing to tie him to that place or time.
Over the next twenty seven years that was how he lived his day to day. With time the mental wounds he had gained started to heal, but the scars would remain for the rest of his days no doubt. As the years went by he started to make a bit of a name for himself, always quiet but confident, and willing to take on some of the craziest jobs people could imagine. Despite a few set back here and there he managed to push through, to survive and live on. The Galaxy was changing again that was for sure, the Jedi from what he had heard had taken a neutral stance in the current setting. With all the murmurings about trouble brewing here and there about the galaxy, things were going to get interesting. In any event that was really none of his business, right now he was just getting settled in what he saw as potentially a rather long term employment. Having been taken on by the Coppola brothers to be the head of Security on their new, and rather large investment, The Ace of Staves. With that being the case he was more than ready to get to settle down for a while, see the sights, and frankly, let himself relax for just a bit.

Gear:

Knight of the Sith suit: The heavily armored suit was custom made for him. Matched to the reinforced body glove that went underneath, along with the beavy of internal systems built in it was a masterpiece. It is kept tucked away in a large locked case, unused now for many years, though periodically he will take out each piece and do a check up and touch up.
Lightsaber: He still has it, tucked in the same locked case as his old armor, it has gone unused just the same. Since that bloody day... no weeks of blood being split with it, he has not used it in combat. Over the years he would train with it every now and then, but he has yet to be able to use it in combat since.
Echani Vibrosword: At no small expense to himself he managed to acquire this blade, it was something he had made a priority. Burning through a good bit of the credits that he had stored in an off account during his mission back when he was working for the Shadows. The Banking Clan paid well, or at least they had at the time. Using a solid percentage of those funds he had managed to find himself this piece of tech. He was not one to fool himself into thinking there might not be another time that he might have to face Jedi, or Sith, that potentially may be hunting him. Taking precautions was just his way of life, and this blade was another one of many. Over the years since his desertion of the order it has served him well on many an occasion.
General Weapons and Gear: Over the years he has gathered quite a few weapons here and there, back when he was working as a mercenary he would often ask for item and certain weapons as payment compared to cash. This had served him well after the last two decades of saving and collecting. A mix of grenades, pistol blasters, and one Heavy Blaster Rifle that he had customized for his type of work. His favorite pistol to carry when he is working currently is the micro blaster that goes in a holster inside his vest along with a vibro dagger in his right and left boot.
Tea Set: He also keeps a lovely tea set in his personal quarters, it is something he has found to be very calming whenever the stress is getting to him. A bit ashamed about the amount of credits he spent on the antique set, but it has its value clear in the quality of drink he can brew.
Mercenary Armor: A full seal body glove along with some light armor padding and some internal metal weaves for breaking up blaster bolt impacts. This lightweight suit it what makes up his normal combat armor, along with complimenting his style of fighting being light and flexible in build. With a few points here and there across the body to clip on gear, along with it being designed around meshing into his cybernetic right arm so that his helmet can use its capabilities for real time updates about his surroundings. Since starting his work upon the Ace of Staves it has not needed to come out of its case, but in case the ship is ever boarded or the like it is ready and waiting for him in times of need.
Cybernetic Right Arm: The arm that was made for him by the CorSec R&D department was a masterpiece and over the years it has saved him time and time again. The outer shell made of a plasteel weave, along with a mix of internal systems to not only assist him in using it but to help in combat, and in day to day activities. From a pict recorder, motion detection system, the hidden pistol in his forearm, a mirco arc cutter in the pointer finger. He hadn't known it when they gave it to him, but the amount of utility it had imbued into his life he wasn't sure he could do without any more. That aside it was rather beautiful, and after the first year or two it was like he had always had it.

Mk.3 Grasshopper

Pexuu's personal transport, it has seen him through many years, commonly needing to be repaired, but he considers that to be part of its charm. A modest set of weaponry compliments a set of almost over sized engines strapped to it. Along with some of his own personal tweaks, but the most important part is that it has pulled him through thick an thin, sporting its own share of old wounds, and new parts.
Currently: He is just settling into his new, and hopefully long term, job as the Head of Security on board a lovely vessel that has been converted into a Casino by the Coppola brothers. Pexuu still needs to get a lay of the land and feel for the ship, along with everyone he is going to be working with.
submitted by Saintman242 to SWRPmeta [link] [comments]

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