Just yesterday I hit free twitch turbo partner on twitch after roughly 5 months of streaming (somewhat) consistently. Today I'm hoping to share some decent advice and give my own (learned) opinion on some of the frequent yet not always useful tips shared around here.
Before writing this I did a cursory search through the subreddit for frequently asked questions so hopefully this answers most of the ones that I myself have any experience to answer.
My simple request: I'm not going to be posting any links to my stream or anything but if you go out of your way to find it please don't follow/subscribe to the channel unless you are genuinely interested. Thanks big boss.

Should you stream?

If I have to read another thread or comment of a person asking if they should stream I am going to scream. What do you people expect to hear? Yes, please stream the world needs you, you will be rich beyond your wildest dreams and have all the clout to have ever been cloutted.
I know people who usually type out questions like that probably don't read posts but here is a hack I've used to answer my own dumb questions through out the years. Say that shit out loud and respond to it like someone asked you the question. Nine times out of ten, you end up answering it yourself and on the off-chance you actually don't you should have a more actionable question.
Example: Instead of asking "should I stream?" you end up realizing the only thing holding you back is having no mic or something. The question then becomes "I want to stream what's a good cheap mic?". Which is a lot better and doesn't make people want to pelt you with rocks.
For those of you who ask "should I stream or is it a waste of time?" please, I BEG YOU, stop. Most of the shit you do is a waste of time, you either want to stream or don't. Make a decision based on that.

Webcam, do you need one?

This question is asked so often that I see it every time I come on the subreddit. Unsurprisingly, the answer is always the same as well, yes you do.
However I disagree.
I have never streamed with a webcam, not a single time, yet I'm still here and somehow managed to get partnered.
Now, I know why every one parrots the same advice, it is because the people making tip threads, youtube videos, etc., all say to use a webcam. Harris Heller said it once and I'm pretty sure that was enough for the people who copy and paste what he says in text threads here to become their mantra.
The truth is, all that matters is the content. Ask yourself do you do/want to do a lot of react/just chatting content? If so, you probably want a webcam since your content will focus around reacting to content. Lirik doesn't use face-cam because his content is his gameplay and commentary, not his face. Corpse literally blew up and is famous for not showing his face (even though he is still a personality).
I know the whole "Lirik doesn't use a face cam" argument is going to be met with people saying "exception not the rule!!!" but seriously, just use your head. Half the people you watch probably don't need face cams. MoonMoon probably doesn't need a face cam, Critikal didn't have a face cam until he already had over a million subs on youtube, schlatt didn't either, Dream doesn't, AdmiralBahroo doesn't, almost every DBD streamer I watch doesn't, just think for yourself.
The point I'm trying to drive home here is not just that a webcam isn't required, but also you need to look at what you want to create and decide for yourself.
Edit: I saw someone say somewhere that you need a webcam for sponsors. That's cap. I've had a sponsor and nobody has seen this ugly mug.

Equipment in general

People like saying that they need this this and that before they start streaming. This is just stalling. Until last month I hadn't owned a desktop PC my whole life. Before that it was just laptops and using my phone to read chat or look up things. You obviously need SOME equipment to start, i.e. a computer and some form of internet connection, but that doesn't mean you need to pick up a shure, a streamdeck, 4 monitors, 6 consoles, and whatnot.
Here is my setup. Keep in mind I literally just upgraded this last month after saving up for several months:

• Blue Yeti: Hell ya baby got a free game with it too so I'm for sure pleased with this purchase. Edit: I recommend shopping around for mics since the yeti isn't as much of a "get this for streaming" mic as it once was. Plenty of good options out there for cheaper
• Two BenQ monitors: Like I said, I was using my phone for chat but that got old fast. These monitors are cheap and 144hz. There are some color issues but eff it I barely notice anymore
• Streamer PC from NZXT: My old laptop was from 2016 and made editing literal hell. Averaged 3 crashes every time I would try and render (and the renders took about an hour). Upgrading to this was the most worth purchase I've ever made. Also, the streamer PC got upgraded since I purchased, so you can grab a 2070 instead of the 2060 ti like I have :)
• Red Dragon Keyboard and Mouse: I'm a cheap ass so when I see light up peripherals for like 40 bucks total I am sold.
• Earbuds: Legit don't know the brand. I stole them from my sister like a year ago. I prefer these over a headset anyway since I don't want that gamer dent lmao

For those of you who are probably saying "GROSS A PRE-BUILT" remember that part prices are actual aids right now, not to mention the availability of even finding good parts. If you have the cash go pre-built that shit is amazing.
My recommendation:
Stay with your shitty set-up as long as possible but make sure to pick up a good mic first. Big streamers (looking at you Ludwig) shit on the Yeti, but straight facts all you need is to EQ that shit a lil bit and nobody will bat an eye. You don't have to pick up the Yeti (there are lots of cheaper options) but that's just the one I and many others have gotten since it is reliably a good ass mic.
Audio <- chat engagement <- pc upgrade

YouTube

How many people have to tell you bums to focus on YouTube before you do it? Twitch sucks ass. I'll say it, i'm brave. No discoverability, especially to those of you at the very bottom. Make a goddamn YouTube and start pumping out videos, it is not hard.
Ludwig made a power point on how to be a streamer that talks about a few things but the most important point of all was what he said on creating content for stream/YouTube. This isn't the exact timestamp but it do be close: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/896089267?t=01h24m14s
That advice is coming from a top streamer who also has over a million subs on YouTube by almost exclusively taking twitch vods and editing them for YouTube.
As for getting views on your videos here is my advice from my personal experiences:

• Thumbnail and title are important but there are outliers that can thrive without doing shit. One guy I saw has their most watched video (over 250k views) with a title like "[game] [character] gameplay" and the literal default thumbnail that youtube makes. AND to top that off it was just a VOD from their twitch channel.
• Audience retention matters. There is a reason massive YouTubers have these weird zoom in pans and flamboyant gestures all the time. Lots of movement and noises keep our tiny attention spans happy and frequently cutting is usually the key to success, although don't overuse it. I do very light edits and have been growing but that's more of my personal preference rather than a growth strategy.
• Respond and engage. If you have one comment on your video and they are complimenting you, why aren't you responding? This is by far the easiest way to get someone to continue to engage with you and trust me, that is the most important thing in the algorithms eyes.

My understanding of YouTube

So obviously, clickthrough rate and audience retention are the things that are constantly brought up when talking about gaining more views and what not, but I am fairly comfortable in saying that there are other metrics that you should be paying attention to.
Let me hit you with a something that would make Dream shake in his boots. I don't subscribe to anyone on YouTube. *gasp*
The reason for that being, I almost always have the videos I want to see on my home page. I never have to go, "wonder if x YouTuber made a video" since YouTube knows I watch and enjoy their stuff. The question for most people being, how does YouTube know what people like and how does it suggest it to them? Basically, by seeing how often people engage with your content AND also what type of content you create. (although keep in mind, youtube tries to throw new videos at you a lot as well, these are usually in-line with content you engage with though)
For engagement, think of it as like affinity points in a video game but in reverse. Before you get to bang that smoking hot sim, you got to woo them. Every time someone likes your video they get a point, every time they comment they get two, every subscription counts as like 10, watching an entire video might be 20, etc. Obviously, these are made up values but I hope you follow what I'm putting down here. Once they get enough points you start showing up more in their home page.
I know this because I have a different account on my phone that doesn't have the same suggestions as my main account because I watch different things on my PC than my phone. However, I do like to look at the comments while I'm taking a dump or something. Problem was, my videos were rarely every recommended. I solved this easily by liking a couple videos. I didn't even watch them, just liked and read comments. LITERALLY NOT EVEN SUBSCRIBED AND I GET NOTIFICATIONS ON MY PHONE SOMETIMES WHEN A VIDEO DOES WELL!
In other words, by getting people to like and comment on your videos you are almost guaranteeing they see future videos from you.
Now, keep in mind, engagement is only a small portion of the whole pie. And even though you might engage with a content creator often, there is still a chance you miss some of their videos because of one other reason, the content's genre.

Content Genre

You might have noticed this phenomenon on various different creators YouTubes, but sometimes they create a video that bombs. Usually, this happens when they create something outside of their niche. This could be as simple as changing games, or as radical as changing the entire direction of the channel. Even if you engage like crazy with a creator, if they change the content enough, you won't get that shit recommended to you.
This is the main reason some creators have several channels and why some even get pigeonholed to one type of content. The reality of it is, if you build your audience on one piece of content and then want to change it, you will be fighting an uphill battle. One of the best ways to fight that is to diversify early OR better yet, emphasize your personality over the content. Jschlatt shits views and he does whatever the hell he wants really. Same goes for jacksepticeye, markiplier, Ludwig, Critikal, XQC, and numerous other creators.
That being said, doing one game/genre isn't a bad strategy either. A metric fuck ton of OfflineTv's videos are the same game. DisguisedToast played Hearthstone on repeat, then switched to TFT, THEN switched to among us, and his videos absolutely kill. Valkyrae is one of the biggest streamers period and all she does is play/upload among us and rust. Then of course we have all the minecraft streamers too.
It's really up to you to decide, but I'd recommend going towards personality content since that allows the most flexibility.

Other Social Media (Twitter, IG, etc)

Lots of people here seem to think that they don't have time to do YouTube or some other BS they think up as an excuse, so they think that twitter, instagram, tiktok, etc are all ways to grow. Trust me, they are not good ways to grow.
These are all stupid treadmills that trick you into thinking you're doing something when in reality you aren't moving the needle by much if by any at all. Posting ten dumb tweets and reposting memes on IG seem "productive" if you frame it in the light of "content creation" but the two people that see all of these things don't really give a shit. Spend that time working on a video for YouTube.
Don't give me this "I don't have time" bullshit. Do small videos and work yourself up, become better and faster. Perfectionism is a cute word for procrastination.
Ok, now that I took a shit on them so hopefully, you won't grind on them all day, these are still ways to grow and are important. Having multiple platforms for fans to communicate and engage with you is always a good idea, but don't spread yourself so thin early on when nobody knows who you are. Prioritize the thing that will get eighty percent of your results.
I personally have a discord for people to come and chat in. Thing is, I had no intention of doing so because I don't really use discord that much. The only reason it exists is that people kept asking for it in the comments on my YouTube videos so I made one.
TL;DR: Don't put the cart before the horse :)
Edit: Oh ya I forgot to mention. TikTok is trash for growth. I won't mention names cuz that's probably toxic(?) but there is someone signed on luminosity who has 690k TikTok followers and 95k YouTube subscribers who barely cracks 100 views on Twitch and has a hard time getting over 1k on YouTube. So don't go thinking TikTok leads to immense fame ya darn kids

Hosting/Raiding

Getting hosted/raided means actual jack. I remember pretty clearly when I had like ten viewers, I got hosted by someone with twenty-five or something. I think only one person ended up saying anything in the chat to me about it and although some stayed for the entire stream, by the time I went live again I lost all of the people who were in the host. This seems to be something others have mentioned as well, you won't retain almost any views from hosts/raids.
Edit: Please do try raiding/hosting or otherwise networking with other streamers at least once. Your mileage may vary and it could end up blowing up your channel. Who knows?
Edit edit: Having something that you can do during the stream is huge when getting hosted/raided. Most of the time, if not all of the time, a streamer is ENDING their stream and sending viewers to you rather than timing it for your own content. So if you are doing something uninteresting or are in the middle of something you are going to get less retention than if you did something crazy to impress the newcomers. In other words, having a strategy for hosting/raiding growth is key.

Speaking on stream

This seems to be something a lot of people struggle with on Twitch since so many people ask how to do it when nobody is watching/chatting. Coming from someone who had this problem, the answer is pretty simple, talk for the content not the chat.
What I mean by this is you should be focusing on your content more than the chat. Since I play games, what I do is just say some shit about whats happening on screen and sometimes say something that is hopefully funny. Pick up a garbage item? Say something about how garbage the item is, ez.
If you're streaming to NO VIEWERS you shouldn't be streaming to stream anyway. What you should be doing is making a YouTube video in the hopes of getting viewers to watch your stream. The only way to do that is to have good content planned out that should effectively act as your script. Again, Ludwigs stream on this is good (it'll probably be a video soon) so make sure to check it out.
A more recent problem I've had was just how much I engaged with chat (suffering from success I know). When I went to edit the videos I had to cut large swathes of the video because I was just chatting to people. Make sure to avoid this when you are actually trying to get content out for YouTube as it can mess up the flow of a video and make it harder to edit. You still can chat with people just make sure not to go overboard. Again, Ludwig is a perfect example of this, just look at his videos and streams and notice the difference between the two.

Streaming as a job/hobby

I hate this dumb argument of streaming isn't your hobby or twitch isn't your job. You have 24 hours in the day, subtract 8 for sleeping and depending on your job, 9 for work. All that extra time can be spent doing whatever the fuck you want. Want to get big and make money streaming? Do work. Want to just stream while you're playing games anyway? Do that.
IF YOU WANT TO BECOME A PROFESSIONAL AT SOMETHING YOU PUT IN THE AMOUNT OF EFFORT REQUIRED TO DO SO! So stop telling people it has to be a hobby or it has to be a job. It can be either for christ's sake.

Partner difference

I have a checkmark which makes me a better person.
No, but seriously, partner doesn't really do much other than add more emote slots and some quality options. Also, you don't gain extra cash as a partner either. I don't have the mystical bounty board or god-tier split, just the checkmark to flex baby.

Opinion on affiliate

Devin Nash made a video about how affiliate is a scam, which is kinda true but only for people with no viewers. Having the sub button is huge and even when I was small small, affiliate gave me a couple hundred bucks a month for no effort on my part. Patreon is probably better though, no lie.

Twitch "grind"

If you stream 5+ hours a day without making content that lives somewhere else please form a neat line so I can smack you all. People saying they have no time drives me nuts, but when they also "grind" all day AND say that, it makes me want to punch air.

1. Stream YouTube friendly content
2. Stop stream and edit content
3. Upload and plug twitch in the video
4. repeat

That is the only "grind" you should be on. Affiliate is stupid if the 3 viewers you have are all just you on a different ipad.

Luck

You know what? Maybe PewDiePie got lucky and that's how he is such a big YouTuber. Maybe early twitch streamers got all their views because they were early adopters. Or maybe these people only got lucky because they showed up and actually put the effort in.
There are plenty of videos on my channel that looked like flops at first. They got like a couple of hundred views and didn't do well. However, after continuously publishing, a whole bunch of them ended up blowing up and becoming some of the most-watched. Without publishing more videos they would have ended up dead in the water. Consistency > luck.
I don't believe too much in luck when it comes to doing very simple things (LIKE MAKING A YOUTUBE VIDEO) but you literally cannot win the lottery if you do not purchase a ticket, it's that simple.

Editing Software

A couple of people asked this so I thought I should add it here. I use davinci resolve for my videos. Previously, I used hitfilm or something like that I can't quite remember the name, but I had to switch because they don't allow you to have split audio channels (i.e. one for desktop audio and one for mic audio).
I've literally never touched any paid software like premier or anything because, again, I'm a cheap ass.

What should you upload to YouTube?

Seriously just look at Ludwig, smallant, DisguisedToast, literally every top Twitch streamer with a YouTube. All three of the people I just mentioned are over one million subs on YT and are top streamers, so they are definitely doing something right.
In terms of off-stream content, guides are king. If you're a small YT channel with ZERO subs you can still get thousands of views by hitting the search algorithm of YT. My first 3 videos were uncut gameplay, guide video, guide video, in that order. Guess which ones have tens of thousands of views and which has less than a thousand? Guide videos are insane for small channels.
Edit: Actually, let's just call it searchable content. Searchable content is king

Ending notes

I think that's about it for this post. Hopefully, I covered everything although I doubt I did. If you have any questions I'll try my best to answer them and will probably edit the good ones into the post.

I wanted to clear the air a little bit, especially with Mike leaving the channel he created.
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First off, this is the real Justin. I know there's been a lot of fake Screenwave people on here over the years, but... I think you'll tell from my post that it's me. It's going to be too inside-baseball to be faked. Plus, mod GreatBowser confirmed it in Twitter DM.
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I also wanted to do an AMA for a while, was going to do one on Facebook in that Assposting group... but they started contacting family members on my Facebook profile and stuff. So... I left all Cinemassacre fan groups I was in and locked my profile down. I feel that this subreddit is probably the best place for the AMA... since you guys clearly care about the channel a lot and wouldn't hold back any punches. I was on here a few years ago. But, I jumped ship pretty quickly and didn't really engage after that, or even lurk. I would get sent threads from time to time. Yet, over the years I noticed the Truth went from heavy trolling and hyperbole, to more shitposting and constructive criticism. That's something I can get behind. Plus, you guys aren't going away... and Screenwave isn't going away. So, I wanted to meet in the middle.
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I wanted to step out in front of a lot of your questions. Answer them for you. I am going to use the Megathread and newer top posts to pull questions from. (But, feel free to ask stuff below. I'll only be monitoring this thread the next week or so, if that's alright.)
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Lastly, I do not speak for James, Mike, Ryan, Screenwave Media, or the other guys... it's just how I see things, or what I know personally.
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Who owns Cinemassacre now? Screenwave Media?
James owns it. I don't know the specifics after that or with the AVGN movie, but I know Screenwave Media owns 0% of any of it. We only have a stake in the AVGN games we produce. Yes, we take a percentage of monthly revenue, like we do other partners on the network... but we don't have any control of the Cinemassacre company... OR have any creative control. James can do whatever he wants with both. He decides to work with us, and we like working for him.
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So, do the Screenwave guys work for Cinemassacre or what?
"The Slobs," as we are called (thanks for that) don't have any creative control or financial stake, as said before. We are just employees of Screenwave Media. Hell, Cinemassacre isn't even my full time thing here. I do a lot of producing of our games and social media content, plus direction for the company kinda stuff. Tony and Kieran are the only full-time employees at Screenwave working for Cinemassacre... and that is mostly writing, filming, and editing.
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Why wasn't there a better way to introduce "The Slobs"?
That's the last time I'll call us the slobs, haha. Honestly, we probably should've introduced ourselves better. Mind you, we were working on the channel for a while at that point... and, when you're James or whatever, you're already really acquainted with us... so, when Tony slips into that Halloween 6 review or we start doing Rental Reviews, it doesn't really come to your mind to roll out the red carpet and send out flyers to everyone, because you assume people follow his socials where we're mentioned or at conventions or whatever... you just kinda do it... which, I don't think people would have cared too much about... if it wasn't for the departure of Kyle and Bootsy still stinging.
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What about Kyle and Bootsy then???
I started working for Screenwave in 2015... and on Cinemassacre in late 2017... so, I wasn't really there for the behind the scenes of Kyle and Bootsy. I met the guys a bunch beforehand though. I like the guys now too. You also know I did the stupid AVGN Roast in 2013... and I think I gave them that cake/award thing at TooManyGames the year before too... so, I knew Kyle and Bootsy well enough and we'd talk at after parties and whatever. Only saying that because I just want to put it out there that I don't harbor any animosity for them. None of us do. I'd like to work with them in the future if it's ever possible. Oh, and if you watch the Silvermania 2016 MAGfest video you'll see Bootsy. Really surprised none of you saw that yet... anyway... yeah, no idea why there was a falling out 100%. I know Kyle wanted to get more involved with his contracting company... and Mike and Bootsy had a falling out. Friends sometimes do, especially when they start working together and being in business together. All I know is what Mike posted publicly a while ago. Be cool to see them again one day regardless.
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Why did Mike leave?
I think he was pretty clear about it in his reddit post. We were planning 2021 and I guess Mike was feeling disconnected for a while... and honestly, loves to stream on Twitch. So, it just made sense for him to bounce. All the old stuff he made is still there, and I guess there's some burnout mixed with enjoying his new thing. I don't blame him. Yes, James barely talked about it in the update video... but, Mike specifically didn't want a huge send off or too much said about it. So, James said as much as Mike wanted him too. That simple.
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What about all the Mike drama over the years?
Same with the Kyle/Bootsy stuff. I wasn't around for it. I know as much as you know, maybe less. I think Mike has apologized for all of it... so, I am going to leave it there. I have no problems with Mike, he's always been good to me. Hoping to stream with him eventually from time to time or just hang out.
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Why doesn't James write the AVGN episodes anymore?
Well, he does... and he doesn't. It's collaborative. Sometimes we play all the games together, sometimes just he does. Sometimes we'll come up with an outline for a script and he fills it in, sometimes it's the reverse. Sometimes he comes up with ideas for games, sometimes we do. It's so back and forth that I can't really separate it at this point... I understand they don't feel like stuff from back in the day... but, not much you can do about that. He's older, back in the GameTrailers day he had something to prove. I think the movie burned him out... plus his family life and side projects. It takes its toll, I think we were moving in a good direction but Covid kinda fucked stuff up, for all of us. Our goal is to make 2021 a great Nerd year. We have been working on the plan for a while now with more time to focus on writing, acting, all that. I think 2020 had us flying by the seat of our pants. I was editing stuff 24 hours straight sometime. Sorry if it doesn't seem that way, haha. We put a lot of time and effort into making what we can, but we want to improve and we want the content to improve.
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What's with all the brand deals and lack of cursing?
As you know, YouTube is a minefield of demonetization, limited ads, and de-platforming. We're trying our best to make the channel money and keep views up. The brand deals really help, because a lot of our content gets limited ads, especially the older stuff. As you know, our backlog is huge. Cursing in the first minute is an instant limited ads. Which hurt money, sure, BUT it also makes the algorithm push you less. So, if a YKWBS gets limited ads it'll get half the views it would normally get, or less... so, we had to make these changes to stay afloat. Even the AVGN theme gets pinged... that's why a lot of AVGN episodes did worst this year (aside from whatever quality issues you have)... Bad Final Fight Games got limited ads because the Nerd said "blue balls," and that's too sexual. See what I mean? If we get hit, it kills views. So... we do brand deals, we put the theme after a minute, we changed it to BS in the front... if not, views would suffer, and future stuff would be pushed less and less. It's weird. Sure, we could do a Patreon and all that, but views would still suffer. And, we never want to just take your money... if skipping forward in a video is all you have to do, whatever. If you want to support us, merch is the best way to do that. And yes, James gets most of the profit from merch. It's not us running some scam.
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Why are the Screenwave guys such SLOBS?? (Oops, used it again.)
I don't want to talk about how Ryan, Kieran, or Tony (from Hack the Movies) feel... but, I know Kieran really took a lot of the stuff here to heart. Especially after the years of fat jokes, caveman jokes, and people pretending to be his dead father. He went off the edge a few times. I think he's in a way better place now, and I think he's really been taking good care of himself. Shit, I lost 80 pounds this year but gained a lot of it back when the world started opening back up... that's the thing about being fat your whole life. It's hard to dig yourself out, it's easy to diet and exercise if you're already thinner. I was fat in like kindergarten, those habits and addictions just continue on with you. Plus, food has always been a comfort for me. Not to go into a sob story, but my Mom died in '99 because of drugs and stuff... and I grew up with 3 sisters across multiple states in a poor family... and, being teased your entire life just goes on and on. Honestly, if you're 20 pounds overweight or 200... it feels the same when you're ridiculed, so, what's the difference, just get bigger, you'll never be small enough to not catch shit. I mean, not to go into my psychology or whatever, sorry... BUT, my goal is to get healthy in 2021... it's a "rebuilding year" for me... that's a sports term. I mean, I doubt it'll affect my personality much... so, if that's your problem, then shit... but, clearly us slobs don't want to be slobs. Even Tony (from hack the movies) and Ryan have been working on themselves too... plus, I always put others before me... from work, to family, to my girlfriend... I'm usually the last stop. Any advice or whatever you guys wanna give, please do. My Twitter DMs are always open.
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Coat-tail riding MUCH??
I mean? Not really? Not sure how much fame we can get out of this. It's just our job, and we like helping James and shooting the shit on the internet. Plus, I had two failed YouTube shows before working with Cinemassacre (why the fuck did they hire me??) so, I don't really care about the clout. It's cool when people high-five us at conventions and other content creators give us the nod... but, we're just trying to make videos, build up Screenwave more, and keep James making the content he wants to make. That's it. I mean, hasn't really helped Hack the Movies much (LOL).
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What do you think of the AVGN movie?
It's alright. I think it could be better here and there, but it's really hard to make a movie. Anyway, back when it was being planned... I was trying to get James to do it locally, with the Underbelly guys and people I knew into film. Do it cheap. But, I also understand wanting to make a big movie in Hollywood. That's a dream. Anyway, at the end of the day, I hope James gets to make another movie one day. I really liked his horror script, but clearly that's on the backburner if not cancelled... but, my goal is to get something to happen one day for him.
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Now I wanted to dive a bit into my past...
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Why do you defend Bob and still talk to him to this day?
So, as you might know, Bob (who used to be on my old YouTube show Silvermania) was busted for having child porn several years ago, after we stopped working together anyway. He went to jail for a year and has since been off the grid. I don't talk to him anymore and I completely cut ties. I've talked about the matter before, saying he "did his time" and stuff. Which, I meant like... I don't want to dogpile on a guy whose life is completely ruined... and who already fucked up a ton. I wanted him to get the help he needs and never work with him again. But, as I said before, I haven't talked to him in years and I don't plan to.
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Why did you make fun of Total Biscuit's cancer?
I regret everything that happened between Silvermania and TB. The short version, is we were invited on his podcast accidentally. They thought we were another show... my original show Underbelly, I think... which was a really different thing, and we were frustrated our YouTube network at the time (MakeTGS) didn't know the difference. Silvermania was me and my old roommate, who posted on here a few times as you know. They wouldn't let us on together and kept asking questions before the show about Underbelly and stuff that didn't pertain to us, but whatever. Watch it, it even says UnderbellyShow under my face. Things went south really quick... and honestly, I shouldn't have been a dickbag on the call... but, as I said, it was weird from the get-go. The energy was really off between all of us on the call, and I just played into being the bad guy. Anyway, we got kicked off the podcast halfway through and a wave of TB fans started attacking us for months. Now, there were like 5 people with access to the Silvermania YouTube at the time... plus I think mods and stuff. So, I'm not sure who did it. Hell, it could've been me under the influence. I drank way too much back then... anyway, someone made fun of TB's cancer down the road and it's been screen-grabbed and passed around. I mean, there's not too much context to it... aside from just being a shitty thing to say because we felt burned by the guy and his fans. Anyway, after that I met with him at a convention and we put it past us. He never actually saw the insult. I was really upset when I heard he passed, I always liked him and his content. Especially all the PC gaming stuff.
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Why did you post "I'm a pedo, watch out" on Twitter?
AH, right. I know that sounds like foreshadowing about the Bob stuff, but it wasn't. Back then, I think it was 2013... I didn't really use Twitter much. We had the SilvermaniaShow handle... which connected directly to our Facebook fan page. So, if we posted on Facebook, it would auto-post to Twitter. Also back then, we would have huge parties at our apartment and stuff, like 50 people would show up once a month... a lot of friends and fans of the show too. Anyway, someone "hacked" our Facebook account... as in, went on the computer that was playing music, typed that in as a joke, and hit send. We immediately deleted it... but, we forgot it auto-posts to Twitter and forgot about it. Anyway, when the show ended... I changed the handle from SilvermaniaShow to JustySilverman, the one I am using now, making it my personal account. But, the wayback machine or whatever, just makes it look like my current profile said he's a pedo. That's the story. Someone was playing a joke, it went to Twitter, and we didn't realize it. I am not a pedo, but sadly, I worked with one for a while... well, kinda, Bob was kinda a guest on the show more than a member.
​
Why did you make such shitty/troll content anyway back then?
Man, it's been a real rollercoaster... if I knew back then what I know now... I think Underbelly or Silvermania would have made it... I let too many cooks in the kitchen, let friends have business control or creative whatever... I should've just been a solo act and just made fun shit... I mean, I think we did a lot of good stuff too... like, Underbelly was partnered with ScrewAttack and Normal Boots for a time... we were with the first ever YouTube network... but, all that pivoting fucked the channel up because of release schedules or what they wanted us to make... the production has always been good... Underbelly was the first YouTube channel with every video being in full 1080p back in 2010... but then we deleted every video and reuploaed them because our network needed us to for whatever reason... just a ton of issues... from back-end stuff to it not being fun anymore... to seeing others soar with similar content... it made me bitter. Which led to Silvermania becoming a weapon of trolling. I always skimmed the surface of making YouTube successful for me... hell, we pissed a LOT of content creators off too... I am STILL rebuilding those bridges even with being on Cinemassacre. I was just pissed off at the world and thought I knew better... when, we should've been focused on making fun stuff consistently and less toxic. That simple. Trying to do that now I guess.
​
Why did you say the N-word?
I really regret this. I mean, even without cancel culture and all that. It was just stupid. The one time was back in 2012, on YouTube, and was part of a skit where I was saying the N-word was actually "Nerd," because of the Big Bang Theory or some point I was making about Nerds being taken advantage of or whatever by Hollywood... it was a really dumb comparison. I even had my black roommate in the video with me to sell the joke... it was dumb, but edgy humor was cool at the time. I have since removed the video and apologized. The other time was just being a drunk-comedian with my friends trying to say the most fucked up stuff possible, same year. Kinda like when Kramer from Seinfeld did that dumb stand-up routine when he said it. But, I guess my ex-roommate decided to record it and post it this year for clout. That said... I am not a racist, I've never said anything remotely racist after the fact, and never from a place of hate. I'm a pretty liberal guy, not that it matters. But, I apologize, clearly won't ever happen again... and hasn't in 8 years.
​
Why are you dressed as a Klansman next to Nazi and confederate flag?
Whoops! Okay, this is a bad look. I can see this coupled with the N-word thing looking really bad... or being a Jewish guy next to a swastica. Clearly, this was a skit. The flags were from a WW2 and Civil War reenactment troop I knew, someone has to play the bad guys and their gear was really authentic. I don't own racist or facist flags. (Though, I kinda want a Mobile Infantry flag from Starship Troopers.) People share the photo around, but never notice the game collection behind me or the minture Hitler on my shoulder... it was a skit we filmed, but never fully released, and has since been taken down... it was part of our Lost Episodes clip-show. The joke was that I'm the "Racist Video Game Nerd," because everyone else on YouTube already picked all the names to sound more like AVGN. Like the Sad Video Game Nerd or whatever. So, the "RVGN" was going to review a game, then get thwarted by a group of racially diverse characters... so... just a stupid skit... that was never fully finished because we knew it was bad. Plus, the RVGN is the bad guy... he's shown in a negative light.
​
Okay, I think that'll answer a bunch of questions you may have... so, yeah. AMA.
Oh, and sorry if I blocked you on Twitter or whatever. I'll add you back if you want.
​
[EDIT]
​
I will get to EVERYONE'S QUESTIONS, there are just a ton and I like to work and sleep and eat and shit.

Disclaimer I want to thank everyone for the gilds, replies and suggestions. I just do not have time to reply to everyone, but I am reading everything. I am not sure how much bigger the thread can be, I already typed this but it vanished so I think I'm at the limit. I will try to keep updating, but I don't expect the thread to be up top for much longer and will likely vanish soon, so if you need anything save it.
Yes, it's hard, it sucks, it's depressing. It is something we all have to do if you want to see this virus go. Everyone knows the deal, too many think they're the exception but no one is. However, staying home is hard so maybe I can help at least one or two people with some incentives. I'll try to give links to some things that can help cure the boredom, and some support if you need it.
Most of this might be obvious to some, some might not even have internet and of course, money is a big issue, so I'll try to give some suggestions:
For streaming and on demand things such as Netflix et al, don't forget you can subscribe for free for your first month. This goes for most things in the list. If you are worried about putting in your payment details and forgetting to cancel a month later, don't worry! You can sign up and immediately cancel and you still get your free month!
For people who don't have a smart TV, you can buy a cheap Amazon Fire TV stick or a Roku box. The Fire stick can go as low as £20 often for 1080p. It will drop to £30 for 4k.
I picked up a 4k Roku device for £18 on Amazon once. It's fast and snappy. currently it's going for £33 for the 4k version. Having both, there is little difference between the devices. NowTV also do their own roku powered device.
Subscription based streaming sites that all offer 2-4 weeks free for first timers

• Netflix *According to comments the second month is free.
  
• Amazon Prime You can either get Amazon video on its own, or take prime with other benefits. I strongly urge those who use Amazon for buying off their store front to use [https://smile.amazon.co.uk/] as there is literally no difference except everything you buy amazon donates to a charity of your choice.
  
• Now TV (I believe it's 7 days)
  
• Disney+
  
• Britbox
  
• Amazon channels. I believe you can get all these individually but Amazon offers them as channels bound to your prime account, and they are again either free for a couple weeks (again, take them, cancel instantly) or very cheap. I recently subscribed to Starzplay for £1 for 3 months. It has some good shows on it like Fringe, doom patrol. It also has channels like Curiosity stream and shudder
  

If you have not subscribed to the any of the above, you can get a few months of free TV by signing up and cancelling instantly. I suggest waiting at least 5 minutes just to let it go through the system.
Some tips for Now TV. IF you already have a subscription, I've noticed you can get it cheaper by cancelling. When you cancel they will beg you to stay. Select "I can not afford it this month" and they should beg again, telling you what shows they have. If you say you still want to cancel, they'll beg one last time and offer you the subscription for cheaper. This won't work every month, but I've noticed they'll always offer it the first time, then again after a couple months. If you're subscribed to both films and entertainment do the most expensive one as it may not work both times (but it might!). You can also pick up passes from storefronts a lot cheaper sometimes, before I could pick one up on Amazon for £3 but, they seem to have cracked down on it. If you shop around (or if anyone knows of a legitimate store please let me know) you might be able to pick it up cheaper. Lastly, check their website and under your account they should have an "offers for you" section.
Completely free TV

• Pluto TV
  
• Viki
  
• Roku
  

If you do have a smart TV and/or device, there are some good free streaming apps. One I really love is called PlutoTV. I know this is on both Roku and the fire stick, as well as Ps4/Ps5 and xbox.
Pluto offers a bunch of live channels and now an on demand section, all for free. It has adverts but they are actually short (shorter than regular TV and fewer of them). Some of the channels are just streaming certain shows like Mythbusters 24/7 or Dog the bounty hunter, but it has a lot of old movie channels as well as 24/7 kickboxing and MMA. It also has a 24/7 poker channel I quite like.
Another one I like is Rakuten Viki however, I haven't watched it for a while as my fire stick is only 1080p and I have too many other devices attached. I believe it is on Roku but you have to jump through some hoops and have an account. The last I checked on the fire stick you did not. Viki offers a metric ton of Asian shows, mainly from Japan and South Korea but it does have chinese, Malaysian etc. It has subtitles. Some Japanese shows are hysterical, albeit weird.
Roku also do their own channels with free shows if you own a device.
For those who don't have a smart TV or a Streaming device, you can set up your own computer as a dedicated streaming device with Plex. It's been a while since I used it but I believe it now also offers free movies and TV.
Anime
If you are into Anime there is

• Crunchyroll
  
• Funimation
  
• HiDive
  

The first 2 are free to watch, or offer premium without ads which you can have a trial with. Crunchyroll is the better of the two with more original choice for Japanese voice and subs, while Funimation has more Dubs. I don't believe HiDive is free to watch but you do get a 2 week trial. These are more exclusives than the previous two.
PC Centric software
If you are a gamer or like Audiobooks or anything that uses computers for things like music making, programming or graphic design

• Humble Bundle
  
• Fanatical
  
• IndieGala
  

Humble Bundle offers, as per the name, bundles. A long running site that got bought out by IGN. It offers both single items and bundles you can buy individually/as a pack while also offering a separate monthly subscription for around £8-9. The subscription gives you 12 games on average per month. That's the simplest explanation but it changes somewhat as sometimes you get to pick 10 out of 14 games, or get all 12.
Humble bundle offers more than just games though. Every Tuesday they bring a new bundle of games, while Thursday (I "think) a new bundle of books. They very often have books from the Black Library giving you a ton of Warhammer books. Sometimes it's standard E-books, other times it's audiobooks. A few times a year they do bundles for graphic design, a typical bundle would include programs like Paintshop Pro Corel Painter etc, They usually go for £0.76 for tier 1 up to around £18 for tier 3, which would include 4-6 full titles with 10+ addons. They also often have Music making bundles or video editing software as well as Programming or video game development.
The bundles change often, they usually have around 11 bundles at a time that last for 20 days. Sometimes it's trash but they do often have some very good deals.
Fanatical offers the same as humble bundle except usually not as high quality, but sometimes they do have some incredible deals, and they are very very cheap.
Both humble and fanatical are safe, trusted and been around a long time, and they are NOT grey market key sites. They work with the publishers and developers. You can buy games both old and new for a lot cheaper than you would most other places. Unless it states otherwise, keys are usually for steam.
**BOTH HB and Fanatical (HB much more common) offer free games fairly often. The catch is linking your steam account to them (at least HB). It is safe however.
IndieGala is another site like above. Except, these are much much lower quality. However, they offer a metric ton of free games. Quality is low but it is legitimate, and a lot of free stuff.
Game Store Fronts

• Steam This one is so obvious I didn't add it, but apparently many want me to. It is the best out there, and you can find almost everything, with fantastic deals.
  
• Greenmangaming offers games cheaply. Again, not a grey market site (which are legal but unethical) and they sometimes do bundles.
  
• GoG (Good old games) is a DRM free site run by CDPR, the makers of the Witcher 3 and Cyberpunk. They offer you games quite cheap and not needing DRM (such as Steam, Uplay etc which is less invasive versions of dodgy DRM from the olden days).
  
• Epic Games Despite the controversy whether you care about their rivalry with valve, they offer free games ever week. Without ever having bought anything I have gained over 170 games. literally. Good games for the most part. They often give you £10 coupons as well.
  
• Twitch Everyone knows twitch, but if you don't, it's a streaming service for watching gamers and girls with low cut tops accidentally bending over in front of the game. However, if you're signed up to prime, you get free games each month (and randomly between the set bunch).
  
• Playstation Store Currently has January sales. Currently the free games for PS+ are for PS4: Shadow of the Tomb Raider and Greedfall. For the Ps5 it is Maneater
  
• Games with Gold Bleed 2 and the King of Fighters XIII is available until Janurary 15th whilst little Nightmares is available until January 31st.
  

Gaming Subscriptions
Like the TV versions, you can sign up to these for a free trial (or very cheap). If you do sign up to only one at a time, it should keep you busy for a few months

• Xbox Game Pass You can do this on both/either an Xbox or PC. If you sign up to the regular one, you can get a month (maybe three!) for £1. After you have done that, you can sign up to the premium version for 3 months at £1 a month. Most people know game pass, but you can download a large selection of games for free. The premium version gives you games with gold, allowing you to keep the games forever (but can only play with a subscription)
  
• Ubisoft+ I'm not 100% sure if you get a trial or not. This allows a large collection of Ubisoft titles to play for £12.99 a month. Quite expensive but good if you like Ubisoft titles I guess.
  
• EA Play EA's version. Goes by a ton of names I think, EA Access, EA Play, Origin Access etc etc. There's a couple of versions of this, and it is across all platforms (PS4/5, Xbox, PC) but not sure about the switch. I "think" the premium allows you to play on all platforms, while the cheaper one on a single platform, but I may be mistaken.
  
• PS Now a once terrible service that is now actually very good. Allows you to download some Ps4 games to your PS4/5 and lets you stream a massive amount of Ps2/3/4 to your PC or playstation.
  

There's more like nvidia's service but you need the Shield device which is quite expensive. I'll leave it at that.
Audiobooks & Ebooks

• Audible Not sure what the current deal is but if you are a prime member you can sign up for a trial and get a free Audiobook each month for 3 months. Some warhammer books are 48 hours long, 3 of those gives you a good 100+ hours of listening!
  
• Comixology Another Amazon company, but lets you download some free comics I believe.
  
• Marvel Unlimited No experience with this. ItFuckingWont wanted me to add it. A subscription service for Marvel.
  

Education

• Sign Language BSL here No experience myself, suggested by n21brown and asked for a few times. Didn't know SL was so popular! Listed as "Pay what you can"
  
• BBC's Bitesize here is apparently good for home learning. Again, no personal experience.
  

If you need some spare change
Okay, I don't generally bother with it, but maybe some of this could be useful to you. These are NOT a quick way to make a fortune. These are small things you can do over time for a bit of pocket change

• If you have prime you can get a FREE FIVE POUND GIFT CARD by literally just streaming a song from Amazon music (which is included in prime) here is the details According to the comments it's only for select people, but it's worth trying If the link doesn't work for you just google "Amazon £5 coupon music"
  
• Now, these sorts of sites have been around for years, I haven't used any other than talkInsights which I must have signed up to 10-15 years ago. Basically they send you surveys and you answer them. They are confidential and don't ask for personal details in the survey. You need 2000 points and you get £20. During the pandemic they've slowed down but I probably get around £40 a year. Not much I know, but it's an email followed by a quick survey ticking boxes. Depending on your answer sometimes you get screened out, I'm not telling you to lie but just be consistent with your answers and you should be able to work out how to not get screened. Some emails are only worth 20 points, others 200. It's slow to get to the 2000 but very quick to just answer a few questions.
  
• Apparently beermoneyuk is a good sub to make some pocket change with.
  
• There is also matched betting. I have never done this, I don't have the patience but from what I've read, it's legitimate, it works and you can make a fair amount of cash from it so long as you do it correctly, and there's a ton of guides. I mention this because people stuck at home could get into it and as long as you're careful (I.E not entering in the wrong numbers) it's risk free AND it pisses off the betting shops. It seems people in comments have had success with it. Disclaimer A couple have complained about gambling. This arguably is not gambling. If you are susceptible to addiction do not do it. However, it's argued that there is no fun or buzz in this, and it's a very tedious and time consuming thing. Others argue you can't make the same money anymore (People were making thousands, now only hundreds if that). It's risk free providing you know what you're doing, the risks are user error, such as entering the wrong numbers. Someone pointed out that due to the lockdown, bets could potentially be cancelled due to sport stopping. So use on a side of caution. We're (mainly) adults so I'll leave it up just because this doesn't have the excitement of regular gambling.
  
• Microsoft Rewards This is an easy way to make pocket change doing very little. Most people have a MS account. The rewards program offers you numerous ways to grab points, by playing free to play games, answering small questions (you don't even need to answer most of the time, just open the link and shut it) and by using bing and searching on it. I've gotten 20k points JUST by answering questions over a couple months. There are many rewards but you can grab a £5 gift card for 6k for example, or a month of game pass (and AFAIK you can make points playing the games)
  
• Google rewards Someone mentioned this in the comments. I have not used it, so can not give any input on it. Sounds similar to TalkInsights which I linked. Google states "Complete short surveys while standing in line, or waiting for a subway. Get rewarded with Google Play or PayPal credit for each one you complete. Topics include everything from opinion polls, to hotel reviews, to merchant satisfaction surveys. We’ll notify you when a survey is waiting."
  

That's it for now. I will try to update as I go along. A long post but I hope that it can help some of you with finding something good to do that's free, cheap or a bargain. I do suggest getting prime, especially since you get free music, free delivery, free TV and music and free video games each month. In fact, there's a ton of perks and I feel I've gotten way over the cost investment.
Hope it helps someone at least
PartTimeCrazy said if you bought an Apple product you get 3 free months of Apple Arcade and Apple TV free for a year
fakehunted is upset I didn't mention wanking. Tesco have 225 sheets of Tissue for £0.75!
tale_lost suggested Project Gutenberg for a collection of free E-Books
Learning Language
Unfortunately, I don't have time to check every link listed so I will link the comments:
Togtogtog Gives a lot of links for Spanish

• Duolingo Numerous people have suggested this So I haven't used myself. Thanks to OhHiGCHQ StephanieMecredy & Allorie_95

Board & Tabletop games
Corporal_Anaesthetic has made a list of Board games
ilyemco suggested these
HEALTH
I'm not a doctor! But if you're a smoker, something I strongly suggest is to quit. I struggled for years but in the first lockdown I quit, technically. I haven't had a cigarette since, however, I do that silly thing millennials do. I vape, but, it made quitting extremely easy. I would not have been able to do it if it wasn't for 88Vape They sell extremely cheap liquids at £1 each. You can find these in B&M but you can pick up 25 for £20 or buy your own mix.
Vitamin D deficiency has been said to be a big problem for the virus. I'd suggest (again, not a doctor!) that you pick some up. Tesco do a 3 for 2 deal. So you can pick up 270 tablets for £7.
If you are vulnerable you MIGHT be able to phone tesco and get put on their delivery saver list (currently it's paused but phoning may help. At the very least they might give you a priority slot. I did this for my mum, we didn't shop at Tesco but I phoned for her, and they put her on with no hassle, so she can always get a delivery.
HELP & ADVICE
The lockdown Rules.
Reasons to leave home include:

• Work or volunteering where it is "unreasonable" to work from home. This includes work in someone else's home, such as that carried out by social workers, nannies, cleaners and tradespeople
  
• Education, training, childcare and medical appointments and emergencies
  
• Exercise outdoors (limited to once a day). This includes meeting one other person from another household in an open public space to exercise
  
• Shopping for essentials such as food and medicine
  
• Communal religious worship
  
• Meeting your support or childcare bubble. Children can also move between separated parents Activities related to moving house
  

I want to add, if you are in danger you are also allowed (and must!) to get away from the situation for some reason, BBC seems to have missed this very important thing (or I am blind)

• To flee the threat of harm or violence.*
  
• CoronaVirus Symptoms
  
• CoronaVirus government site You can check your location and how many cases here.
  
• Worldometers Shows cases around the world.
  
• Interactive UK Map Another easy to read map with cases in counties and local area's.
  
• World Health Organisation
  

Support

• Samaritans
  
• Mental Health UK forum on reddit
  
• Link to above's stick post for support outlets
  
• Mindful
  
• Mind.org
  

FOR THOSE SHIELDING YOU CAN CONTACT THE ROYAL VOLUNTARY SERVICE. These people helped my mother with picking up her medicine from the chemist. They were very helpful and went out their way to keep in touch and do it immediately. (It's the only experience I have with them though)
_riotingpacifist wanted these links added, but I simply just don't have the time to vet and check all the suggestions here, so I will link as is:

• https://england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/
  
• https://www.goodsamapp.org/
  
• https://vaccinationvolunteers.sja.org.uk/roles/volunteer-vaccinator.html
  
• https://nhsvolunteerresponders.org.uk/getting-you-started-guide-steward-volunteer
  
• https://peoplesmomentum.com/evictionresistance/
  
• https://londonrentersunion.org/
  

Update:
Digital Art
These are Free

• Krita Arguably the best in my opinion. It has a load of options, brushes and a decent UI. It works fantastic with a tablet.
  
• Gimp This is a decent program but last I used, the UI was a pain, and it isn't so user friendly while misses features, but it works, and it is possible to do some incredible creations on it.
  
• Medibang Paint This is slightly geared towards Comics and Manga. I really enjoy using this with my drawing Tablet. As far as I know, it also for regular tablets for Android/Ipad and is free.
  

You can pick up a drawing tablet on Amazon quite cheap these days! Small ones that are just a black slate such as the wacom ones are good but takes some practice to get use to, but very worth it if you can't afford a dedicated drawing tablet with a screen.
Office suit software
A couple of free applications for word processing, spreadsheets etc.

• LibreOffice This has most the average user would need to write their own books or to work from home. There's not a huge amount of difference between the two I'm linking (since I last used anyway) so it's more for preference.
  
• Open Office You can pick this up here and again, like above it's just preference.
  

Music Making
I'm going to direct to matthewharris806 for some links as all the programs I've used like Reason are expensive, or cheaper stuff in bundles such as Magix software.
Games development
D_Dad_Default gives some links for that here

Gather round my friends and listen to the very long and very sad tale of my technical nemesis the Maximum PC 1999 Dream Machine.
Back in the late 90s I did tech support in rural Alaska. What's not rural in Alaska you ask?
Well urban Alaska is a place you can drive to on a paved road.
Suburban Alaska is a place you drive to on a road.
Rural Alaska is where downtown is on the road, but the houses not so much.
Remote Alaska takes a boat, plane, train, ATV, snow machine, dog sled, or other non standard mode of transportation.
Anyway on with the story. I worked in town at a small tech shop. We had a frequent customer who lived remote. He was a friend of the shop and spent easily $10,000 a year on hardware for his off-grid "cabin." Every time he came to town he bought some new toy or component and talked shop with us techies.
He was super excited about the new millennium so when Maximum PC released their 1999 Dream Machine he came to us to put one together for him. Top of the line: Pentium 3 - Coppermine 800mhz water cooled and overclocked, 1Gb of CL2 SDRAM, GeForce 256 with dual SLI Voodoo 2s, SCSI 8GB boot drive, Striped 20GB IDE storage array. It was hell on rails and the absolute sexiest machine a gamer could ask for.
For those who aren't reaching retirement age, the Pentium 3 Coppermine CPU was basically unobtainable in 1999 it took us the better part of a month just to find someone willing to sell it to us. We paid 3x retail and considered ourselves fortunate to have gotten it at all. Then we had it overnighted to Alaska from somewhere in Indiana for an additional ton of money. CPU alone ended up costing $3000.
The CPU was the last part to arrive and the shop basically closed down when FedEx arrived. We thoroughly inspected the package for signs of damage, triple checked our grounding straps, and everyone watched in awe and trepidation as the lead tech ever so gingerly placed it into the socket. A dab of Silver Fox and the stock heat sink later we're ready for first boot... Hurray it POSTs!
So we do the usual, slap Windows 98SE install disk in let it get to work on install. Install finishes up and we start up 3DMark, gonna get us a high score! Nope... Halfway through the test BSOD! Crap, okay wire check, temp check everything is good. 2nd try, fingers crossed... Boom BSOD.
2 hours of frantic forums searching later. 98SE hates more RAM than 512 unless you tweak a bunch of system settings. So we pull out half the RAM start it back up, run 3DMark so we know it was just the RAM amount. Benchmark score is nice, like double any of our personal rig scores nice. So we tweak some system settings, shut it down, add the RAM back in, spin it up, Mark it. Success!
Burn in time. Now sure we could have set 3DMark on a loop, but this rig was worth better than half a year's salary and the hottest setup we had ever seen. So we hooked it up to the shop network, big screen, and speakers and payed Unreal Tournament till 2am. Satisfied with the hardware we made our way home.
Bright and early the next morning we show up and get to the hard work of switching from air cooled to water cooled. We ran the tubes, measured twice, cut once, plumbed the blocks, checked for leaks...
No leaks!
Drained 'em set aside to let dry, took off the fans from ALL THE THINGS!!!, installed the water blocks, filled the system, prayed to all the gods we could think of, and checked for leaks...
No leaks!!
Second burn in time! It's business hours now though so it's 3DMark on a loop. Rig runs all day CPU levels off at 45c and stays. Awesome! Full load 45c we're good for phase 3. Let's see what this baby can do! Hit the BIOS set the FSB from 100mhz to 133mhz hell yeah! We've got GHZ! Score it again, this time it's mind blowing. I can't for the life of me remember the score but it was insane. So we start the true burn in, watching like hawks crowded around the bench, staring blinkless at the CPU temp. 45, 50, 55, 60... no sign of slowing, 65, 70, 75... fingers poised to abort because none of us can afford to replace this CPU, 76, 77, 77, 77!
Stable!!!
So we let it run and call the customer. Congratulations Mr. Customer sir it's a thing of beauty, come pick it up. Per shop policy we put it in a place of prominence next to the counter and hooked up to the biggest CRT we had for the ceremonial presentation. Customer finally arrives, as giddy as a rough and tumble Alaskan fisherman can be. It's late December so we shout Merry Christmas and usher him to his newest acquisition. He's delighted of course, and since we're in town and have DSL he's got a request. He pulls a copy of Quake off the shelf, writes out a check and takes his rig to our "cyber cafe" to pwn some folks. (Yes I know this was like 5 years before pwn was coined, cut me a little slack.) He spent the rest of the day and a bunch of that evening in there happy as a clam. On the sickest rig I'd ever seen.
Now if that was the end of it this would be the long, pleasant, and anticlimactic story of building a rich guy a computer. This is the long, sad, and sordid affair of the Dream PC 1999. We're only halfway through.
Our happy customer takes his prize home, the owner cashes the $8,000 check, everyone is happy, we close up shop and take Christmas with our families.
New Year comes around and we get a call from our favorite customer. He finally got new telephone out to his place and got DSL but he can't run Quake for more than 5 minutes without the system freezing up. With great trepidation the phone tech asks if it smells funny or there's any water leaking from the bottom...
Nope dry and smell free!
"Ok then bring it in for your 12 months of free warranty service, we'll see what's up with it."
A few days later in he comes with the rig under his arm, evidently chagrined but in good spirits. He gets the favorite customer treatment and we set the rig up on the test bench immediately. It works, flawlessly. Boot up Quake crank the settings to max run a round still fine. Slap 3dMark on it it chews it up and spits out a mind blowing score. We show the customer and he asks us to keep stress testing it while he goes shopping and he'll stop by after. So we spend 2 hours poking at it trying to make it fail but no dice, it's the most stable overclocked machine we've ever seen. When the customer comes back we pronounce it provisionally fixed and he takes it home.
Two days later phone call, "Quakey no worky." Alright bring it back in... This time we're serious we keep it overnight. Which means over a week since the customer only comes in to town once a week. So for a week we poke, prod, and abuse this computer. Constantly running benchmarks and games, use it as the technical teams super gaming rig in-store after hours. We can't make it fail. We call the customer back "Look this thing works like a champ we can't break it" he comes in we show him. He takes it to the cafe it works, so he takes it home.
The next week... "Rigs not working again, maybe it wants a car ride?" In he comes with it. Per usual it works, he shops, he takes it home.
The next day, "Car ride didn't work, can I schedule a house call?" Generally house calls weren't a problem, but remember I said this guy lived remote. He was 40 miles out of town, only 20 of those were paved or plowed and the last 10 weren't even road. No one in the shop wanted to burn a full day going out there for warranty work in February in Alaska, but since Windows Server 2000 was fresh on the market we offered him a copy on the house if he brought the rig back in and let us reinstall it. We figured that maybe the issue had to do with the system tweaks we had done to make 98 accept the RAM. It was a long shot but we were desperate.
The next week in comes our customer and his dream rig. He leaves it in our care and we spend the next week backing up, wiping, installing the new OS, and burning the rig in again. It still handles like a champ the whole time. Never as much as a jitter. When he comes back in we have the rig set up in the cafe all ready for him to test, which he does but you can see the glee has gone out of him. He's waiting for the other shoe to drop when he gets home.
And drop it does. We don't hear from him for two weeks but that's because he was afraid to call the night he got it home. He still can't game on it. This time when he asks for a service call we schedule it. The lead tech was the only one of us that owned a Skidoo to make the last 10 miles so he got the pleasure of making the trip. He set it for Friday morning so he could make a whole weekend trip out of it and go skidooing after the call out.
Does the boss get his happy weekend? NO! The curse of the intermittent problem rises up to defeat him.
He's there on site for 6 hours. The customer isn't lying, the rig will idle fine, but 5 minutes of Quake and it reboots. Not BSOD, just reboots like the reset button got pushed. He used every tool he had with him but couldn't find anything wrong with it. He even took 3dMark and a copy of Unreal Tournament out in case it was somehow something about Quake in specific. It wasn't, he couldn't run anything graphics or CPU intensive without it shutting down. So he restored the FSB to 100mhz thinking it must be an OC thing...Nope still won't run, just now it fails while not performing as well. So instead of a long weekend of Skidoo he has to bring the rig back to our bench to be tested component by component.
After a week of bench testing each component we still haven't gotten anything to fail either individually or together, but we're on the hook with this guy for the most expensive rig anyone has ever built so we RMA every piece we can one at a time, with a trip back to the customer after every RMA. Over the next 2 months we made that rig onto a Ship of Theseus, that means everything from the case on in has been replaced except for the CPU. We kept the CPU for last since we got that technically aftermarket we were on the hook for it and couldn't RMA it. By that point though it was May and we just bought another one retail. It was still $1000...
I remind you that at no point has this rig been anything other than amazing for us to use in the shop and between the time and the extra expense we'd killed any profit we had on the deal but this customer was still our best customer so we kept at it.
Memorial Day rolls around and I get the delivery job for the now entirely new PC. The "road" is dry now so I can take it in my off road truck along with every tester I own, my personal bench PC, and a take no prisoners attitude. This will be a solved issue!
I rolled out with a multimeter, network tester, lineman's handset, broad spectrum RF analyzer, oscilloscope, surge protector, UPS, you name it I had it, and I checked everything. Power? He was on a generator after all. He took me and showed me his setup, 20kw pure sine wave inverter cleaner power than we had in town. Telephone? It was a new copper run... Tested dead on for voltage, coms were clear. Turns out he's paid $3000 a mile for 8 miles of run to his property line. Then hired out for another mile to the cabin privately specifically to have good enough signal to get maxed out DSL internet.
I setup both his computer and my bench rig. Bench rig first in case I was wrong about the power and network. Bench rig goes up gets online plays Quake. Not at the same settings his could but it runs gaming and then 30 min of benchmark without a hitch. So moment of truth, I took down my rig put up his. Hooked it up to all the same peripherals, then booted it up. First ran 3DMark and it went...Fine!! I stepped aside and he took over double clicked Quake III and... Quakey Worky! I shouted, he shouted, he spun up some Rage Against the Machine and we rocked out to our hard fought victory. Then I packed up all my stuff and left feeling secure in my technical superiority.
But was that the end? It was certainly long, but that's not sad enough.
Summer Solstice (June 20th) is a big day in Alaska the longest day of the year. People host BBQs and stay out late under the midnight sun. So it wasn't a huge surprise when our customer invited the whole tech support team out to his place for a solstice party. He knew how much work we'd put into making his computer the dream he had envisioned. We closed the shop a little early and headed out. When we got there there were a bunch of people, BBQ, beer, I think there was even a 3 legged race at one point. It was midweek so nobody was planning on staying too late but the host asked us to stay after everyone started to disperse.
When it was just us techies and our host he went in and brought a bottle of scotch and 5 glasses out to the deck we were all on. He poured, served, and toasted to hard work and perseverance paying off. We drank and then our host pointed out a beige box at the bottom of his field maybe 150 yards from the house. "I invited you guys out here today because you deserve to see this." he said as he went inside grabbed a .308 deer rifle off his mantle, walked down off the deck into the pasture and unloaded 5 rounds into what I then realized was a computer case.
He slung the rifle over his shoulder, went down the field and retrieved his target. Brought it back up for us to inspect. All this while we stared aghast after him wondering why he would literally shoot a dream computer to bits. We asked as much when he returned and he ushered us inside to his living room and attached a camcorder to his TV. There in full living color with a date in the corner of June 10th was a 5 minute video of a computer refusing to run Quake III...

Edited to remove the tables because when I obsessively checked this post on my phone I couldn't read them?? Also I tried to, but was prevented from, editing the title. I know it looks sanctimonious but that's just one small part of my personality I swear. D:
❤️ Section 1: Assets and Debt
Total Net Worth: $30,875 - all equity.
Retirement Balance: $0 for me; $20,500 for my husband in the state pension program for teachers. (My partner, L, has been paying into the state teachers' pension system for 5 years. For most of my 20s, I either worked at very low-paying jobs, or supported myself and others on a teacher’s salary, so no retirement for me. My current job does not have a retirement program, but one of my goals for this year is to either start a Roth IRA or get a new job with a 401k match… or maybe both?)
Savings Account Balance: $23,733 We’re moving this summer to a city closer to our families, and are saving all we can for a down payment on a dreamy spot. After we move, some amount of what’s left over will go into a retirement fund, and the rest will stay in this HYSA as our emergency fund. For us, three months of expenses, including childcare, is about $18,000.
Checking Account Balance: $455
Credit Card Debt: n/a, pay off each month
Student Loan Debt: $80,000 for L’s undergrad and MAT. $18,000 for my undergrad and (unfinished) MAT. (My undergrad degrees were mostly covered by the Pell Grant, scholarships, and a $10,000 529 from my parents. L was a nontraditional student - didn’t start undergrad until he was 24 - so none of his was covered. Most of my debt is for a MAT program I dropped out of after one year. I was trying to find any way out of teaching at the time (it is demanding, all-consuming, and carceral at once) and thought a PhD would be my only route. When I got my current job I promptly left the program and any dreams of a PhD behind.)
Equity: $83,875 (This number is from an online equity calculator, and is for our house in a very popular neighborhood in a very popular city. Our outstanding debt on the house is $295,000. We put our whole savings down in 2019, which was $9,000 at the time.)
❤️ Section 2: Income
Monthly Take Home: My base pay is $65,000, and L’s is $45,000. I worked a side gig last year that totaled about $10k in additional compensation; all of it went to savings so we don't budget for it. My take home is $4096/month for my full time job, and my current side gig income (grant writing) is variable, between $300 and $600 a month. L’s take home is $2262/month. My health insurance is paid in full by work. L’s insurance and B’s come out of L’s paycheck, as does L’s retirement contribution.
Income Progression: I’ve been working since I was 15 years old, moved out for college at 18, and paid my own bills starting that year. I won’t include that money here though (it was like $12,000 a year as a college student, for reference). Income below starts when I graduated with two BAs that had nothing to do with teaching.
Year 1: $15,600 (part time ABA therapist, full time baby anarchist)
Year 2: $32,000 (year 1 teacher salary: I accepted a spot in Teach for America for this giant salary even though I thought it was an obnoxious neoliberal org. Yes, I was also obnoxious at the time.)
Year 3: $33,000 (teacher, step increase)
Year 4: $34,000 (teacher, step increase)
Year 5: $35,000 (teacher, step increase)
Year 6: $15,000 (community organizer; at the time this felt like a dream job)
Year 7: $20,000 (community organizer & cafe worker)
Year 8: $40,000 (back to teaching, felt rich; this includes a side hustle writing grants on the side for $50 an hour)
Year 9: $45,000 (left teaching for my current job, quit the grants side hustle)
Year 10: $55,000 (got a raise, got pregnant)
Year 11: $65,000 (got a raise and promotion, had a baby)
Year 12: $75,000 (was promoted again in January but waiting on the pay increase to hit, hopefully with backdating. This money diary doesn’t reflect this salary as it hasn’t been reflected in my check yet)
❤️ Section 3: Expenses
Mortgage/PMI/Insurance: $2,110
Retirement Contribution: n/a (L’s retirement is pulled out of his check before he receives it: it’s $169 a month. Right now, I don’t have a retirement contribution)
Savings Contribution: $1000 to main savings, $400 to sinking fund (This is a super aggressive goal for us and is only possible because our childcare costs are covered by work)
Debt Payments: n/a right now (We have student loans to the tune of $100k but haven’t been paying a dime since they were paused due to COVID. But then the other day I checked and saw they've gained interest? Should we be paying them then? WWJD? I legit don’t know.)
Electric: $130
Internet: $100
Cellphone: $65 (For L & I both. We are on a bigass family plan with 40 gajillion other people.)
Subscriptions: $45 ($10 Spotify; $10 Youtube music; $2.99 Apple data (Why?!); $22 NYT (for newspaper and cooking app); also have a split subscription to the New Yorker with bestie F but we paid for a yearly deal.)
Car Payment and Insurance: $150 for a car payment; $202 for insurance (Insurance covers both of our used cars and my dad’s used handicap van. Our car payment is for our used Honda. We only owe $6,850 on the car and I’m back and forth on whether to pay it off with savings)
Medical/Therapy: $0 (My therapist is $140 a session, and I just started seeing her again once a month, but this is reimbursed by work. I also get an inhaler at least twice a month - that’s reimbursed too, costs $60 total.)
Misfits Market: $120 (For a weekly box, which really helps us cut down on overall grocery cost)
Gym membership: $30 (For my intense local yoga studio’s app which is so great in the winter. We also run and bike a lot, as long as it’s warm enough)
Donations: $100 (We give monthly to our local Democratic Socialists of America; the Working Families Party; and a small, local org. I’m also on an organizing committee for that org. We’ll give them one big gift of at least $250 this year, probably in May. I support a couple organizations with grant writing and grant-finding support as much as I can, which usually amounts to a few hours a month.)
Childcare: $0 B goes to a very precious Montessori preschool, and we can walk him there. It’s pricey af ($1300/month). The other $200 is to account for some babysitting from my little sister when L or I have to work weird hours. For now, work reimburses this full amount as a COVID perk; if that changes, we will have to cut costs significantly.
House cleaner: $160 (They come twice a month and charge $80 each time.)
❤️ Section 4: Money Diary
NOTE: We are masked and afraid everywhere we go.
✨DAY 1: THURSDAY✨
4:20 am: Good morning world! I shuffle into the kitchen in my panties and my slippers to fill up the gooseneck kettle. I recently got into pour over coffee even though it’s quite a commitment. With a toddler, a full-time job, and a Libra sun, I don’t really have time for meditative morning routines. This lengthy, half-naked coffee regimen is my closest attempt. As soon as I get the coffee brewing, our 18 month old, B, starts making noise. I open the door and see he’s got his pacifier in his mouth and his pillow in his arms. He wants to lay with Dada. I help him get in the bed with my husband, L, as quietly as possible. Last week L was super sick and we thought for sure he had picked up COVID. Blessedly all of our tests came back negative, but on the heels of that, he started having major tooth pain and had to have an emergency tooth extraction, AND he got an ear infection as he was coming down from whatever virus he had. I hate it :(
I get dressed and do some chores while they snooze to ease L's morning. I start the diaper laundry (usually his job - we use cloth), put away the dishes, start the Eufy vacuum, and get B and L’s breakfasts together: sunbutter and a little bit of syrup on some banana pancakes I prepped earlier this week.
6:30 am: B and L are up! The hour before we take B to preschool is kind of a marathon. L eats with B (and supervises his syrup consumption) as I clean out some more dirty diapers, brush my teeth, make another cup of coffee, strip our sheets, spray my hair with water to refresh the curl, return a few group texts, and wash some breakfast dishes. Somewhere in here I also eat two boiled eggs with Everything But the Bagel seasoning, and a bunch of grapes.
I help L get B loaded up in the car, and just as they pull off, my parents Facetime me. They’re calling to see B but are polite enough to talk to me for a few minutes. They live a few hours away, and are divorced, but cohabitating. The full story is long and spiritual for me so I’ll spare you. Anyway, my mom and I talk for a while about this couch she thinks I should buy from one of her friends, but it’s two hours away and we’d have to rent a U-Haul, so I think we’ll pass. I do hate our current couch though. Please drop comfy toddler- and dog-friendly recommendations in the comments!
8:15 am: I set out to walk the dog and listen to the Daily’s recent update on the coronavirus. Donald G. McNeill, Jr., says we’re in this through the summer, which is a bummer on the personal and global front, but I suppose it could be worse??? Maybe?? As soon as they finish talking I switch over to You’re Wrong About. I’m deep in the Jessica Simpson series and highly recommend this pod for any other nerdy, lefty, kinda burnt out millennials, especially those of you that are queer or queer-adjacent. Once home, I take my whole operation onto the front porch to work, since the cleaner will be here soon and I don’t want to crowd her in this time of COVID. I LOVE a clean house and I love paying someone else to do the big stuff, which is a recent luxury for us.
11:00 am: I’ve been working steadily in my email and google docs for a couple hours now, and it’s COLD out here. The cleaner leaves and I am grateful to go back into the heat. I Venmo her $80 for the cleaning (included in monthly expenses). I take a break from work and check out the job boards. My current job is the best, and highest-paying, gig I’ve ever had, but I’m planning to leave some time this year for several reasons. The premier reason: I recently learned that I’m qualified for several positions that pay over $100k at similar organizations. With that kind of money we could pay off our student loans, help our families out more, make sizable donations, and L could explore a career outside of teaching without freaking about a slight cut in his pay for a few years as he finds his niche. Or - maybe he’ll get into Edtech somehow and we’ll join Resource Generation. Who knows.
12:30 pm: I have a quick break and pull together lunch: half a cheese quesadilla, a big bowl of Smitten Kitchen’s roasted tomato soup, and a LimonCello LaCroix. L is on his planning period and asks me to edit his most recent job application, and I oblige. Since we’re both job hunting, I ask him if I can buy a resume template and guide on Etsy. I have sworn off online shopping for the year to curb my impulse spending, but he says we’ll just count this one as his purchase. Great news because I hate the formatting of my resume from 2016 and don’t want to fix it myself! $9.95
3:30 pm: My Zooms are over, my inbox is at 0, and I put up my out of office message because I’m taking the day off tomorrow to work on my resume and do some things to prep our house for sale. My high-functioning anxiety created an ambitious backwards timeline for this process back in December, and that timeline currently runs my life. I work for a few more minutes to tie up loose ends, and then walk O to a nearby shop to buy my favorite candle, curbside-style. When I get there the owner gives me some percentage off because it’s slightly discolored from the sun. Huzzah! $27.25, marked down from $40
4:45 pm: My angel of a baby sister, J, who lives just a few blocks away and is in a pod with us, comes to hang out with B for an hour so L can rest. I head to my good friend D’s place for my investment overalls appointment. She's going to alter their awkward wide leg into more of a tapered, mom jean shape. I have a capsule wardrobe which means I’ll wear these babies at least once a week, and plus I get to pay my friend, so I’m fine with the extra expense. When I arrive, she and her partner have the fire pit going, and we drink a couple glasses of wine together, yet more than 6 feet apart. I learn they are planning to move to the same new city as us in the next couple of years and legit cry happy tears.
Afterwards, I head out to pick up dinner for tonight. We are getting burgers from L’s favorite place as a treat. On my way, the WOLF MOON appears over the water and my stomach does triple flips. Then I pick up our dinner: a veggie burger with eggplant jam and kale for me; a real-meat burger with mushrooms, bacon, swiss, carmelized onion, and horseradish mayo for L; and an appetizer plate with pretzels, pimento cheese, onion jam, pickles, and chips for B. Delicious and unhealthy. The total is $34.54.
6:30: Home and eating dinner. B loves his meal, especially the “chokes.” He calls pretzels “chokes” because when L first started feeding them to him, I worried aloud that he would choke every time. I just couldn’t stop thinking about how a pretzel almost took out George W. Bush. Turns out our toddler is better at chewing than George W. Bush.
After dinner, L gives B a bubble bath while I do my own, very minimal, bedtime routine. Then L and I lay down with B to put him to sleep. He has a floor bed, which is a Montessori thing I learned about on mom blogs. L is a very hot and talented woodworker, so he took my floor bed dream to the next level by building a lovely house-shaped frame. The top beam is wrapped in twinkle lights and fake ivy. It’s a nice place to sleep, and we pass out here all the time.
10:30 pm: L wakes me up and we wander to our own bed.
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 71.74
✨ DAY 2: FRIDAY✨
4:15 am: Wake up and go look at the clock. Decide this is a silly time to get up on a day off, drink some water, and go lay back down. But once in bed all I can think about is how much I want to read the news, organize my resume, and update this money diary. This is the problem with falling asleep at toddler time. So I get up again at 4:45, make my coffee, read a New Yorker article about Biden’s pandemic response on my phone, and sit down to work on this diary.
6:00 am: L wakes up! He works on breakfast for himself and B and I start meal planning for the month. This is one of my best and most recent life hacks. I found that if I chart out our cooking, weekly takeout, and leftovers at the start of the month, we save lots of money and are so much less stressed about the labor that goes into feeding ourselves. I pull out Smitten Kitchen Every Day and use it to inspire the month’s meals. So quaint to cook from an actual BOOK.
6:45 am: B walks out of our room and announces that he drank my water off the side table. He’s so proud! And so ready to eat. While he eats breakfast, I snack on some grapes and, at B’s request, blast 7 Days A Week by They Might Be Giants. This is the consummate children’s song for any household that dreams of a self-determined world. Over the next hour I take B to school; make myself a real breakfast (a soy chorizo and egg taco); and browse TikTok. Eventually I find a series about this Gamestop situation by a smart Irish woman and L and I watch it together. When it’s over we feel like shrewd stock brokers ready to win money, and L gets to work teaching virtually.
I spend the morning painting our front door and our kitchen wall to prep our house to sell, and talking to my (other) little sister on the phone. She’s an HR person with a job that’s taken her far away from our family, and we don’t talk that often. It is so good to catch up on her life. After that I have a fun, day-off Zoom call with longtime bestie and coworker K. We drink coffee and talk about The Future.
12:30 pm: I make lunch (tomato soup with goat cheese on top, and a savory scone on the side) and get a text from another bestie, M, who offers me a little grant writing contract work this week. Yay! I love them and love working with them. Next, I order our groceries for the week. I get baking powder, eggs, cremini mushrooms, vegan sausage patties, oat milk, ginger root, shredded cheddar cheese, plantains, black beans, doggy bags, broccoli, vegan chicken strips, artichoke hearts, roasted red peppers, capers, ciabatta bread, grits, bananas, avocados, greek yogurt, and on impulse, a pineapple on sale (?!). Maybe B will love it. The total comes to $94.08.
1:15 pm: I do a brief power vinyasa class in B’s room and take a shower. It takes me approximately two Drake songs to shower and dry off, as I don’t have to wash my hair today and I never shave. I work on my resume until L and I leave to pick up B. On the way home we stop at the park to play, and then we all get in the car to pick up groceries.
6:30 pm: We get home later than planned and eat together: leftover tofu ramen for us and veggie lasagna for B, who is so sleepy that he hardly touches his lasagna. L gets him in the bath around 7:15 and I run through my evening routine. There’s a lot going on in the house - preschool lunch and clothes to put up, a mountain of laundry in our room, all of the groceries for the week waiting to be put away, and dinner dishes are languishing in the sink. L starts on chores while I get B dressed.
As I’m dressing B, my mom Facetimes and B shows her several of his board books. While we’re talking my dad texts me a heart emoji - he overheard B and my mom talking from his room. He lives with a disability and a painful illness, so he goes to bed very early. We hang up with my mom and record a video of B making “P” sounds and saying “I love you” to my dad, and send it over. This is the first time B’s ever said “I love you!” Huge news. We read books and fall asleep next to B.
9 pm: I wake up and nudge L but he wants to keep sleeping. I go clean the dinner dishes, put away the food and reorganize the cabinets and fridge, and mop the kitchen floor while I listen to The Daily’s latest reporting on QAnon believers who are at once totally bananagrams and also remind me very much of my aunt. L wakes up at 9:30 because he and Y, my sister’s boyfriend, are gonna game. Cute! He finishes the laundry and I fold a few diapers to help out. Then we lay in bed together until game time, when I fall asleep.
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 94.08
✨DAY 3: SATURDAY✨
5:40 am: Wake up at a ~*~weekend hour~*~!! Start my kettle, clean and moisturize my face, pull out the ingredients for waffles, and pick up around the house while I wait for it to boil. I try to read some, but get bored a few pages in. I’m currently reading How to Do Nothing and it’s good enough, but I think I need to chill on the nonfiction and read, like, saucy romance novels with hot bisexual leads. Send me your recs please!
Waffle time! This recipe is my go-to. I recommend whipping the egg whites first. B wakes up around 7:15 and helps me cook which is cute and very messy. He eats his waffle with honey, peanut butter, and grapes. L wakes up after him - he had a late night gaming!
8 am: I open yesterday’s mail and find an anti-abortion DVD from L’s grandma. It’s Abby Johnson’s “memoir.” Abby Johnson is an opportunistic right winger and documented liar who once moonlighted as a Planned Parenthood clinic manager. L is a preacher’s kid, so we’re not surprised to receive this from his grandma. For example: 10 years ago, when L and I were a couple years into our relationship, her Christmas gift to me was a book about how one can recover from being a slut by getting married and finding Jesus. This particular package really sends me over the edge, though. I decide to write them a short note later that states my own experience with abortion and sets a clear boundary on this kind of propaganda, and includes an article about Abby Johnson’s bullshit life. It’s unlikely this will change their minds - they are septuagenarian Southern Baptists, after all - but at least I’ll be in my integrity.
In the meantime, I group text L’s siblings, and they commiserate with us. His one sibling who is transitioning shares that grandma recently sent them a book about how to tell your gay friends they’re sinning. We agree that’s hilariously dense (and fucking rude) of her, and talk about how everyone under forty is a gay slut living their best life, so really it’s grandma’s loss. During this time I clean the kitchen, finish the waffles, and freeze them for B’s weekday breakfasts.
9:30 am: B asks to use the potty and does a great job peeing on his own! He’s geeked about it and is especially excited to have my parents on Facetime cheering him on. After that we head out on our morning walk. L takes B to the playground and I take O to the dog park nearby. She gets tired pretty quick and we all head to the thrift store. We need chairs for our hand-me-down kitchen table. The ones that came with it are awkwardly wide. L spots two sturdy ones that are just $5 each. Score! $10
11:30 am: B and L are both wiped out once we get home. They eat lunch and go to sleep. I clean up the kitchen, repot one of my plants, water our porch plants, and eat some leftover ramen for lunch. The Marie Antoinette episode of You’re Wrong About keeps me company all the while. 10/10 would recommend.
2 pm: B wakes up and eats some lunch. We watercolor together for a while (he on his big paper, I in my bullet journal), then walk down the street to the local high school while L preps potatoes for our fondue. The high school grounds are open on the weekends, and there’s an amphitheatre on site. B loves the echo in there.
4:30 pm: L joins us in the amphitheatre and together we drag B two blocks back home. I prep the fondue: brie, gouda, and more gouda with white wine. It ends up being a little clumpy but so delicious. My sister, J, and her boyfriend, Y arrive while I’m cooking. Y brings yummy baguettes from his bakery job for the dipping and we prep broccoli, green beans, and tempeh too. We sit down in our new chairs to eat and for the zillionth time I am so thankful we’ve been able to make a pod together this year. Fondue would be a terrifying proposition with anyone else, really.
While we eat, Y tells us he put in his two weeks at the bakery because their COVID protocols aren’t so tight and his coworkers are continuing to go to bars and out to eat. His plan for now is to get back on unemployment and find a virtual job sometime soon. Both he and my sister have worked food service their whole adult lives so the pandemic has been tough on them. Besides the fact that they’re delightful and perfect, this is one key reason we’re planning to move with them to our new city this summer: L and I will be able to easily afford the majority of the rent, deposits, and utilities on a pretty big, and centrally located, house. Living together will allow us to grow our savings and take our time looking for a Forever Home, and will allow J and Y to pay really low rent as my sister goes back to school full time and Y looks for a full-time job. I’m really looking forward to living with them and know it’ll be good for B, too. They leave around 7 pm and we put B to bed, this time without falling asleep ourselves!
8:30 pm: Turn on How I Met Your Mother in bed and the episodes are baaaaad bad. One entire episode casts sex workers as a punch line. Ick. L and I agree to find a new show, and fall asleep around 10.
11 pm - 2 am: B is up and between our two beds. Wahhhh.
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 10
✨DAY 4: SUNDAY✨
6 am: Up and at ‘em! Discover I’m out of my fancy coffee and don’t want to emphasize the flavor of our grocery store beans with a slow pour, so make a french press instead. B wakes up too early so we watch toddlers together on TikTok while I drink my coffee, then read books while L makes us all eggs for breakfast. We head out for our morning walk around 9 am and stop at a coffee shop a few blocks away. I pick up Counter Culture’s Iridescent beans, buy an espresso brownie on a whim, and tip the cashier because she’s so sweet and tipping is good. The total is 23.03. L takes B to the playground and I drop my purchases and O back at the house before I head out for a run.
9:45 am: It’s 65 degrees and my run is glorious. I run to the water and pause Lil Yachty for a minute to take it all in. Once home I shower and put on a black LA Apparel catsuit and a marled black and white cocoon sweater from AA of the past (I like what I like!). We feed B lunch and then L puts him down while I clean up.
Around 11:30, J comes over after to watch B while we remove the storm windows from our whole house and clean the windows underneath as part of our work to prep the house for sale. We’re a solid team: L removes the storm windows and caulks all the gaps in the wood while I follow behind him and wash the windows inside and out. Our sweet neighbor catches us cleaning and offers to let us use her power washer for free next weekend to clean up the front of the house. I resolve to bake them some cookies.
2:30 pm: We are done with the window operation and it’s time for me to water all 57 plants in the house. Along the way, discover that I overwatered B’s hoya last week and it’s rotting. Noooo! I unpot it on the porch to dry the roots, but it’s raining so this might not work. There’s only one surefire solution: buy a replacement plant! I try to convince L we should go to the nursery, but he’s not so into it. I walk around dejectedly with a towel to clean up all the water I spilled, and Zelle J $70 for babysitting even though she insists she would do it for free. Next B, L, and I share a snack: crackers with goat cheese and harissa. Mmm. B skips the harissa but loves the goat cheese. Meanwhile I begin to stress about making dinner. We’d planned goddess bowls but L and I just aren’t feeling it after our marathon of house work. L requests Chinese and is suddenly more amenable to visiting the nursery, which is near our favorite Chinese takeout spot. Score!
5:00 pm: We leave the plant shop with a heartleaf philodendron for B’s room and a giant, lovely, perfect monstera deliciosa just because. The total comes to $53.24. Then we pick up our food: $33.08 including the tip. L ordered a large veggie lo mein to share with B and General Tso’s chicken, and I got family style tofu and vegetables. We start B’s bedtime routine at 6:30 and he’s out by 7:00 - early for him!
After he’s down, L preps his breakfast sandwiches for the week and I do some dishes. Then we take mutual advantage of the extra hour we have together. Even after 12 years it’s always so good with L. I fall asleep around 10 pm feeling blessed.
🌿 Daily total: 179.32
✨DAY 5: MONDAY✨
5 am: I make my pour over and get started on work first thing. I have a couple of deadlines this week and the side gig to balance so I’m already feeling pressed for time! I wrap up an entire grant report before 6 am and feel very accomplished. Then I pause work to start our breakfast, which is all pre-prepped, hallelujah. While L and B eat breakfast, I get dressed in a black turtleneck minidress, busted old tights, black ankle socks, and my Doc Martens.
I help L load up the car with B and all his gear, and tell L to be careful. Today is L’s first day back teaching in person since December, and we’re both nervous since COVID is still running wild in our red state. On the way to work he fills up his car for $18.33.
2:30 pm: After another grant report, seventy gajillion emails, forty Slack messages, and several hours of Zoom calls, I’m ready for a break. I finish eating the quinoa salad I prepped during Zoom call #2 and then eat a pear too. I see our Misfits box has been delivered. It’s $30 a week, and is included in our monthly expenses. I unpack it, clean the counters, wipe down the bathroom sinks, take O for a walk, and sit down to work on my side gig grant report, which is due Wednesday. I set a 30 minute timer because I don’t want to be too late picking up B.
4:25 pm: Worked longer than I meant to! Pack some snacks and pick up B. On the way home we get a giant bag of potting soil so I can repot those plants. It’s $18.52. Come home and engage in B’s favorite winter activity: pressing all the buttons in the turned-off car. Meanwhile, in another car across town, L picks up a big bag of Purina One, butter, maple syrup, and applesauce. That total is $28.64.
5:30 pm: The whole family is home and we kick it inside until it starts to get dark. L and I gather all the things and take the creatures out for a walk even though there’s a light, but very cold, rain happening. B is cranky and so are we, so the walk is quick.
We eat leftover Chinese food around 7 and start B’s bedtime routine. B falls asleep at 8 and I update this diary for a while, then go watch Ted Lasso in bed with L til about 9:30. It’s much better than How I Met Your Mother, for the record.
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 65.51
✨Day 6: TUESDAY✨
3 am: B wakes up and needs a diaper change. I have the hardest time falling back asleep after: I can’t stop thinking about how I left B’s hoya out in the cold with its roots exposed most of the day yesterday and into tonight. But it’s too cold for me to get up again and pull it inside! So instead I toss and turn and hope it’s not dead yet.
6 am: L’s alarm wakes me up! No early morning reading and writing time for me. I get right up, make a giant pour over, and get breakfast together while L wakes up B. Then I actually sit down with them to eat: B and I both eat boiled eggs with everything but the bagel seasoning and some coconut milk yogurt, and L sips his coffee while his breakfast sandwich heats in the oven. I get dressed in my workout gear and walk the dog while L gets B ready for school. They leave, and I finally bring the hoya in, and start work, around 7:30. L buys coffee and snacks from the gas station on his way to work: $6.88.
9:30 am: I grab some crackers and peanut butter from the kitchen and notice a DMV bill on the fridge I’ve been meaning to pay, but don’t totally understand. I call them up and respond to emails while I sit on hold. Turns out I owe the DMV $10 for paying my Dad’s van insurance late. With the “processing fee” it comes to $11.17.
1:30 pm: Been on Zoom calls all morning, and decide to switch over to the side gig work for a bit. Meanwhile I eat that quinoa salad I prepped yesterday. At 2 pm, my longtime bestie and neighbor F comes over and we take O for a walk in the park together and have such a good conversation. While the context is (very) different, I’m reminded of the Toni Morrison quote when I think of F: “She’s a friend of my mind.” Such a gem, and such a smartie. At 3:30 I start a HIIT yoga class and it kicks my butt even though it’s only 20 minutes long. Afterwards, I shower and pick up B.
5:00 pm: L arrives home while B and I are playing, and we get in the car once more to check out a cute couch L scoped out on Facebook marketplace. It’s a sweet vintage brown velvet actually-for-real midcentury situation. Unfortunately we discover it’s also small and very uncomfortable. $200 not spent. Once home, my family goes for a walk and I make dinner - this grits and beans recipe from NYT cooking. It’s blessedly quick to pull together. Meanwhile D texts me and says my overalls are ready! YAY! She’s gonna drop them off in a couple of days. She says the total is $30. I include a tip and Venmo her $40.
7:00 pm: At bedtime, B cannot get enough of his books and we read All The World several times. He finally falls asleep around 8:20 and L and I eat dinner on the couch, with Ted Lasso. I drink a glass of red wine, which is a mistake: my anxiety spikes right after, my stomach hurts, and I can’t sleep. This is very upsetting as I want very much to be a wine mom. Does this happen to anyone else?
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 58.05
✨DAY 7: WEDNESDAY✨
5:45 am: Wake up with B cuddled into my back - L moved him to our bed in the middle of the night after his second wake up. Get my coffee and breakfast together and sit down at my computer to work on the side gig grant while everyone's asleep. Then L and I manage the morning rush together. I eat sourdough toast, two scrambled eggs, and some pineapple along the way.
7:30 am: Take O out for a walk and on a whim decide to listen to one of my favorite easy-listening pods: A Beautiful Mess. Normally the two sisters and co-hosts, Elsie and Emma, chat about things like home decor or craft making or how to balance kids and work. This episode is about the host’s evangelical upbringing, though, and is a real raw and honest tear jerker. Pair it with this, one of my top reads of 2020: “What Does the White Evangelical Want?” It gets me thinking about L’s upbringing in the church. He and all his siblings are all agnostic now.
Finally sit down at my desk and debate taking Adderall. I used it regularly in college and for a few years after in order to Do All The Things. I try to stay away from it now - I’m not trying to live an impossible life any more - but I also really want to pick B up earlier than normal today, and that means I need to meet all my deadlines and make it through two Zoom calls with my direct reports by 3 pm. I decide to take 4 mg. Right after I take it, three different friends text me at once and then, suddenly, I’ve spent an hour catching up via text. Get to work for real around 9 am.
3:00 pm: Wrapped all my calls, answered all my emails, washed all the dishes, ate some lunch, and finished the side gig work! OK Adderall, you beautiful bitch. Spend a few more minutes tying up loose ends and then gather my things to pick B up from school. The plan today is to go “play basketball” in the park near his school because he is OBSESSED with balls, and I’m trying to do more magical things every day with him. It’s cold but I’m ready to brave it on his precious, curly-headed behalf.
At 4 pm J calls and asks to go pick him up with me. Hooray, things just got even more magical! We head to a different-than-usual park together and run around until B sits in, and then drinks from, a puddle. We panic and J googles “What happens if my baby drinks from a puddle?” The search returns lots of stories of babies eating muddy rocks and surviving, so we decide it’s ok.
5:00 pm Head home and L is back from work! We take the smols on a walk and I tell L that I think nighttime screentime is making me anxious. I’m a sensitive creature and I really don’t want to blame the wine. He’s very perfect so he helps me think through an alternate plan for this evening: hot tea and book reading in bed, and maybe sex, too! Fun.
Next, I head home with O to pot the plants we bought the other day, and L takes B to the playground. They get back around 6:30 and I am very excited to reveal my new plant placements. Everyone feigns interest except O. Then we eat leftovers together and B gets in bed around 7:30. L and I promptly fall asleep next to him and don’t wake up again til 11 pm. Guess our new nighttime routine will have to wait til tomorrow!
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 0
❤️ Section 5: TOTALS
Total Expenses: $478.71
Food & Drink: $220.25
Fun & Entertainment: $0
Home & Health: $109.01
Clothes & Beauty: $40
Transport: $29.50
Other: $79.95
❤️ Section 6: REFLECTION
This week reflects a new normal for us, I think! We just set the goal of saving up for another down payment in December, and that’s when I swore off online shopping both to save money and to stop lining the pockets of evil billionaires like Bezos (no shade to anyone who uses Amazon, this is purely a personal goal & I’m not sure I can meet it). This self-imposed rule is helping me reign in my discretionary spending overall. L and I have only been living a two-income, middle class life for a few years, and my lifestyle creep was a little out of control in 2020. That said, I can and do still regularly justify spending money on things that make life more luxurious and beautiful - like a $40 candle or a totally unnecessary but very lovely plant.
There are a couple of things not reflected in this diary that we regularly spend on: gifts (my achilles heel - for example, we spent three! thousand! dollars! on Christmas gifts in December), and medical bills. Both B and I had to visit the emergency room in 2020 and we are still getting random bills in the mail as our insurance company and the hospital duke it out. As I was editing this diary on Thursday, I received one for $787. Wahhhh. I think I’m gonna get on a payment plan, but even so that it will be over $200 a month.
Last thought: this process got me thinking in some detail about the contradiction of organizing for the fall of capitalism (and the rise of a more gentle and just economic system), yet believing everyone - including ourselves and our own families - deserve to live full and abundant lives. This means I compromise my own anti-capitalist values and beliefs every day, in big and small ways. Discuss?

Background

If you don't care about all this and want to go straight to the advice you can skip to section 2.
Hi guys, just wanted to share some insight on my road to grinding support to GM and to give some free advice for players wanting to improve. Here's the Proof that I hit GM if anybody was curious.
Just wanted to start by saying that I started off in low gold on my main account back in season 9. I didn't hit Masters until season 16 where I was stuck around the 3.4k-3.6k range until I hit GM on tank in season 23. After that, I wanted to practice support and made a new account so I could start from the ground up and so I wouldn't ruin other people's games because my support was probably not at a high masters/low GM level yet. Overwatch is also the first FPS competitive game I took seriously.
To help supplement my practice I watched coaching VOD reviews of Ana, Zen, and Bap and some unranked to GM VODs of people like ML7 and epicenzo. Then I would write down a couple of things that I needed to work on for each hero. I am by no means an amazing player, but through focused practice and time, I was able to hit GM on support. Hoping this post helps aspiring support players who feel stuck in their rank.
I also chose to not be in team chat for most of games because I really just wanted to focus on my mechanics and decision making without having to listen to other people complain. My experience in ranked is that I don't hear actual useful callouts until mid to high masters, but even at that rank I still didn't join voice. If you're hardcore, "you must be in voice chat, it's a team game!" kind of person then...I'm sorry?

1 - Controls and Settings for Console

If you are a PC player you can skip this section.
Make sure to have all allied health bars on! This will show the HP of teammates at all times and is a very useful piece of information for all support players. It will help dictate healing priorities and who needs healing certain situtations.
I'm sure some of you are curious about the specific console settings I use because it can be confusing. Here is a video explaining the differences between all the settings: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JG1P2RsgBbM
Dual Zone
Horizontal Sens: 70
Vertical sens: 65
Aim Assist Strength: 100
Aim Assist Window Size: 50
Aim Assist Ease In: 70
Aim Smoothing: 98
Aim Ease In: 30
Ana: I had Relative Aim Sensitivity While Zoomed at 60 and Friendly Aim Assist Strength 75. Ultimate was bound to L3 so I wouldn't have to let go of the right stick.
Baptiste: Crouch is bound to L3, which is how Baptiste charges his exo boots. This allowed me to have it charged, while keep my aim with the right stick.
Lucio: Jump is on L2 and secondary fire is on L3. Backwards wallriding is enabled
Zenyatta: Reload is bound to L3 and sensitivity of harmony and discord orb on 70.
At the end of the day, work with the sens and controls that work best for you. This is what works for me after hours of experimentation and trial and error and these settings may not necessarily work for you.

2 - Ranked Advice

If you want to go straight into support advice you can skip this section
Need a Tough Mental: From when I first placed in plat on the new account to finally hitting GM, I would receive toxic messaged at every rank. Messages like "you're trash" "garbage healer" or my favorite, "I can't believe you're (insert rank here) you're dogshit." I even had a couple of instances playing Zen where my allied tank was shooting me, bodyblocking me, and overall just being a dick so I couldn't see the team fight. Here's the hard truth. There's not a lot you can do about toxic people. I know that scares a lot of you and I can see why.
I'll tell you a little secret, people are toxic because that's a coping mechanism for them playing poorly so they deflect blame on someone else on the team. Don't let some random person in a video game diminish who you are as a player and as person. You aren't a shitty person so don't let dickheads on the internet try to put you down. Mute. Report. Go next. Prove the haters wrong! You'll most likely never meet them again anyways.
Be Self-Critical and Open to Change: This will be the best advice I can give you that will improve your gameplay in the long-term. On my road to GM, I was constantly reevaluating my mistakes, so I could adjust them for future team fights and games. It's easy to fall into the trap of blaming teammates and attributing losses to them. While that may be the case, there's always something you can do to improve. For me, there are currently two things I am working on that I know I am weak at. Landing reliable sleep darts to defend myself and being more disciplined with my positioning. What are mistakes are you currently trying to work on?
Now, don't be that type of person who is overthinking everything about every little mistake they made. That's a quick way to ruin your mental. On the other hand, don't be the type of person who thinks they are doing everything perfectly. There's a nice balance between being confident and being honest about your mistakes. If you find yourself unable to mentally remember your mistakes, write down those mistakes with solutions, then actively apply them in game. Ask for a friend or outside help to give you another perspective if you're having a hard time self-analyzing.
Teammates are Going to do Dumbshit: ...and that's okay. I get it. As a support you get front row seats to the circus of ranked. From Reinhardts pinning into spawn, teammates wasting ultimates, Genji's spamming I need healing halfway across the map, I get it. There's a prayer that goes, "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." If that doesn't explain how I feel about ranked I don't know what does.
You cannot force your teammates to make the right play 100% of the time no matter how loud you scream into your mic, you cannot control all of their actions, and so the best thing you can is to control your own actions. If you are consistently the best player in your lobby you will eventually climb. You don't have to be a god gamer but just slightly better than the players in the lobby. Stick to the fundamentals and abuse the mistakes on the enemy, because trust me, they make a lot of mistakes.
Adjusting to the Speed of Play at Different SR: Once I got into the 3.8K range I would be thrown into varying SR lobbies. One game I will be in a 3.4K lobby with plats and the next I would be thrown into an almost full GM lobby. In lower ranked lobbies I could get away with weird flanks and poor positioning, which would not be punished as much. Then once I got into GM lobbies, those bad habits and poor positioning I built would be punished. You don't realize how bad your positioning is until you are being consistently smacked by an enemy Widow, Tracer, McCree, or Doomfist. I had to be disciplined with my positioning, even at the lower ranked games so that when the GM game came I would already be in that mindset. The fundamentals of the game don't change, but the time window to kill someone does. Play for the rank you want to be, not the rank you are in.
Short Warm-up Routine: It's good to have a short 5-10 minute warm up routine before you start getting into a ranked session. For me, I use some workshop codes that are shown down below in the Outside Resources section and some deathmatch. This is a great way so that you're not throwing the first few games by missing easy shots. Even after the initial warm-up, it still takes a couple of games for your brain to warm-up to the decision making in game. It wasn't uncommon for me to lose the first few matches even after a good warm-up. Don't let a couple of losses discourage you from continuing your ranked session.
Would also like to add that you shouldn't be spending hours on aim trainers and warming up. Aim is great, and is an important skill of Overwatch, but it isn't the only skill. Positioning, movement, cool down management, decision making, awareness, etc are all important aspects that aim trainers won't tech you. This is why a lot of advice for new players is to, "play more" because they just need to experience the complexities of the game. Don't be afraid to make mistakes in ranked as those are good learning opportunities for the next game.

3 - General Support Advice

Understand Your Role and Healing Priorities: The first step that everyone should do is look at their team comp and figure our what your primary job is. For example, if I'm playing Ana with a Rein, Zarya, Mercy, McCree, & Hanzo, I know that my Mercy will default to supporting the DPS, while I default to supporting the tanks. Of course, when situations arise where I need to help out the DPS or Mercy I will, but I already have an idea of what my priorities are going into a team fight. It's easier to adjust to bad situations when you already have an idea of what your default role is. If I feel that my Mercy is mismanaging her resources mid-game then I can always adjust to landing a couple more shots on my DPS when they need it.
Ask yourself these 3 questions when it comes to understanding your priorities:

1. What is my job in this team comp?
2. What should I use my abilities and ultimate for?
3. Where should I position in terms of this team comp?

Don't overthink this and make it super simple. It can be as simple as I need to keep my frontline alive or peel for my other support. If you have any specific situations about healing priority, comment down below and I would be happy to answer them.
Understand Who on the Enemy Team can Kill You: After 15 seconds into a match you will be able to see the enemy team comp. Get into the habit of checking the scoreboard in between team fights. Take your time to gather all in the information on the enemy. Before doing anything crazy. Most of time, the biggest threats will be the DPS and/or dive tanks. If you're consistently dying to tanks like Rein or Zarya then there is something extremely wrong with your positioning. Adjust you positioning and cool downs accordingly depending on the enemy DPS. I'll get more into depth in Part 2.
Awareness. Awareness. Awareness.: This skill is the foundation of game sense and decision making in game. If you have poor awareness you will find yourself struggling executing the points I will be making throughout this post. These are the things you want to look out for to improve awareness:

1. Where your teammates are positioned: As a support, it's important to get the full view of the battlefield. Constantly remind yourself to be able to see all 5 of your teammates. If you can't see them on your screen then take a second to figure out where they are.
2. Where the enemy team is positioned: This is to reinforce my previous point of figuring out who on the enemy team might kill you. It's important to know where they might come from. Overwatch maps are designed with a middle land, a left lane, and a right lane. Sometimes the lanes have high ground, go through a tunnel, through a building or combination of those things. There can only be so many ways and enemy can approach you. Take the time to see if you can account for all 6 enemies. If one enemy is missing then they are doing something sneaky on a flank or right behind you.
3. Kill feed: I am constantly checking the kill feed almost every second. It's an important tool to check the status of the team fight. If my team loses 1 or 2 players very early on then I know to wait for the regroup if I'm on attack. If I'm on the defending side I know I need to make a big play to offset the player advantage from the enemy team. Then if my team loses 4 or more players then 99% of the time I know it's a lost team fight. Simple. Check the kill feed.
4. Abilities used: Being aware of cool downs helps tremendously. For example, knowing when Zarya uses her bubbles or when Dva's defense matrix is down is a great way to land anti nades as Ana. If you have a hard time visualizing and listening to abilities being used then I suggest watching your own replay code and just listen to the sound queues. You will be shocked on how much you miss.
5. Ultimates: Ult tracking is considered an advanced technique, but is still an important skill to learn. This is especially important for heroes like Zenyatta or Lucio who have ultimates that can mitigate big enemy ult combos. Start by ult tracking one player on the enemy team. Then eventually you'll be able to do 2, then the whole team, then you'll narrow it down to the ultimates that will play the biggest impact in the upcoming team fight. Bonus tip, if a player hasn't used an ultimate in over 2 team fights then they probably have it.

Value Your Life!: Don't make the mistake of following your teammate into the pits of hell. As a support, your team's success is tied to how long you can survive. The longer you survive the more resources your team will have. Don't go into a bad position or run in the open just to heal a person is missing 5 HP in the middle of a team fight. Supports should almost never be dying at the start of team fights. If you are consistently dying first as a support then you are positioning poorly or mismanaging your abilities. Prioritize your life!
Protect Your Fellow Support: Supports. Please. Protect each other! As I mentioned before, the longevity of a support is tied with the success of the team. I know what you're thinking, "if the supports are healing each other then who is healing the frontline?" Let me put it this way, if the enemy team is pumping resources into trying to kill the backline then that means there is less damage going into the rest of your team.
Multitasking: You might need to defend yourself for a few seconds, heal your teammate the next, quick scope a low HP enemy the next, all while rotating into a different position at the same time. As a support, you need to be proficient thinking ahead. This is why understanding your role is important before every match. Multitasking requires a mixture of awareness, good decision making, and mechanics. Without each of those components you will find yourself struggling to do multiple actions.
Team fights are never static, they constantly evolve, which provide different situations for you to answer. So it's important to change priorities when needed. Remember, critical HP signs show when your teammate has half of their HP or less. So Genji who is at critical vs a Winston who is at critical may need to be healed first as they have a higher chance of dying. It's a case by case basis, but you need to be able to read situations before they happen to be able to get better at multitasking.
Be a Threat and Playmaker: Once you've built a strong foundation of dying less, you then need to start becoming a playmaker and damage threat. Supports aren't pushovers and can pack a punch. I mean, Zen can 2 shot headshot and enemy squishy with discord. The reason why this is important is because if you become a threat then the enemy DPS have to respect you. They can't just walk over the backline. If you also become a damage threat then you open up advantages for the rest of your team. For example, as Zen I am putting pressure on the enemy Tracer, which forces her recall. This then allows my Tracer to win the Tracer battle because my Tracer has a distinct advantage. That then leads to an opening kill for the rest of my team to push. Forcing cool downs for free isn't something that will be shown in the stats, but it's an important aspect that will win team fights.
Higher Healing Numbers are Overrated: What's the difference in the amount of healing a Mercy can output in GM vs Gold? Answer, 0. A Mercy will always pump out 55HPS no matter what rank. What makes a good support player is how they prioritize their healing in the right situations combined with how their kit impacts a team fight. Anybody can just dump heals on their friendly Reinhardt and get gold healing. News flash, that doesn't win you games. If a ton of healing leads to wins then you would see Moira in every top 500 lobby.

4 - Thought Process on Support Picks

Ana: Ana is a great versatile support pick as she can fit in a lot of team comps. Her long range healing enables high resource intensive tanks like Rein/Zarya but can also support dive tanks like Winston/Dva. These tanks are are also great nano boost targets under the right circumstances. Ana is decent at healing DPS, although it's not her primary focus. Her nano boost is a great pairing for ultimate combos with DPS like Genji, Pharah, and other high mobility heroes like Tracer and Genji. She is also decent at defending herself (if you're capable) with her sleep dart and biotic grenade.
Pick Ana with tanks that require high resources, in situations where you need to defend yourself, combo nano boost, and to make high impact plays with anti nade. She is weakest in bunker comps as she doesn't have the "spam damage" compared to Zen and Baptiste.
Baptiste: Baptiste is another great versatile support hero as a hybrid between Ana, Zen, and Moira, but with vertical mobility. He absolutely shines in deathball or bunker comps where he can get the most out of his AOE healing. When played in these situations he can build his ultimate after almost every team fight. He can also dish out a ton of damage and can be used to defend himself against flankers or as a 3rd DPS. His biggest weakness is playing in dive as he'll have a hard time healing his teammates. You'll end up using your abilities on yourself, and if you're not getting full advantage of immortality field then may not be worth it to play Baptiste.
Pick Baptiste in static bunker or rush comps. Avoid playing him with dive as there are better options like Zen, Mercy, or Ana.
Lucio: Lucio is a relatively weak pick at the moment as his biggest strengths, speed boost and dueling are outclassed by ranged poke damage. He can be played in really strong boop maps like Lijiang Tower or Ilios but be careful on tunnel visioning on boops. He is still decent at peeling for your fellow support but Brig is the number one option at dealing with flankers. Dueling potential as a 3rd DPS, while getting teammates into position with speed is the only way I have found success with Lucio. He pairs well with heroes like Rein, Reaper, Mei, etc who require to be in close range to be effective.
Lucio is an average pick in the moment as the strength of range damage is more valuable than speed boost. However, he can work with rush comps, but engagement timings have to be decisive. If you end up being a healbot Lucio then consider playing Moira or Baptiste instead as they output more AOE healing than Lucio.
Zenyatta: Zen is a glass cannon, but what he lacks in survivability, he makes up for in a shit ton of damage. I personally try to play Zen as much as possible, but he doesn't work well it tanks who require a lot of resources. If that happens then I would pick Ana, Moira, or Baptiste. If I do find that my tanks are feeding or playing too passively that it doesn't matter how much healing I pump into them then I will switch to Zen. His harmony orb works well with flankers like Genji, Tracer, and Echo who can utilize that 30HPS for being more aggressive.
Zen works great in dive comps and bunker comps. He's still playable against 1 or 2 flankers (if you can land your shots) but if the enemy team is 3+ man diving you and you aren't getting any peel then I would consider switching off.

Summary

If I were to boil everything down to key points to improve on how I was able to climb as support it would be this

1. Know your role and priorities in a team comp.
2. Always think in the back of your head who on the enemy team might kill you.
3. Position yourself with cover and to see the entire picture of a team fight.
4. Don't waste abilities.
5. Finally, don't waste ultimates if a team fight is decisively won or lost.

Follow those 5 steps then apply that to any support hero and you should be able to climb with practice and actively learning. Hope this helps you guys. Remember, it takes time to actually apply knowledge in game. Sometimes you need to take one step back to move two steps forward. A lot of you guys are making constant mistakes so it's important to slow that down, build good habits slowly, so that over time you can make good decisions quickly. Comment down below if you have any specific questions about Overwatch or how I was able to climb and I would be happy to answer them.
Here is the link the Part 2 where I go over specific support heroes.

Outside Resources

Workshop Codes
Practice Range 2.2: AJERA
Healing Trainer for Baptiste and Ana: A9B2N
Aim Trainer 1: KAVE5
Aim Trainer 2: 9SM5N
Flanker Duel Practice: MXCB3
Genji Sleep Dart Practice: ZKMC1
Doomfist Sleep Dart Practice: 8Z23K
Wrecking Ball Sleep Dart Practice: ASHZS
Ana vs Pharmercy: T7CB6
Ana Nade Tool: EBAXM
Ana
Ana Gamepedia Information
ML7's Ana Guide
ML7's Ana Unranked to GM
KarQ and ML7's 1 Ana tip vs Every Hero
KarQ's 1 Nade for Every Map
KarQ's Platinum Ana VOD Review
ML7's Platinum Ana VOD Review
ML7's Silver Ana VOD Review
Hayes VOD review of ML7
Baptiste
Baptiste Gamepedia Information
MajorMidget's Baptiste Guide
ML7's Baptiste Unranked to GM
KarQ and ML7's 1 Baptiste Tip vs Every Hero
Fran's Baptiste Tips & Tricks
Lunar's Baptiste Tips & Tricks
ML7's Platinum Baptiste VOD Review
Gunther's Baptiste VOD review via PECO Overwatch Coaching
Lucio
Lucio Gamepedia Information
KarQ and FunnyAstro Lucio Guide
KarQ and Rammy's 1 Lucio Tip vs Every Hero
Eskay's Lucio Rollout For Every Map
KarQ and Eskay's 1 Lucio Rollout for Every Map
SVB's Diamond Lucio VOD review
FunnyAstro Lucio VOD Review
Zenyatta
Zenyatta Gamepedia Information
MajorMidget's Zenyatta Guide
Epicenzo's Zenyatta Unranked to GM
KarQ's 1 Zenyatta Tip vs Every Hero
Epicenzo's Zenyatta Primary and Secondary Fire Guide
Jayne's Zenyatta Platinum VOD Review
Hayes Zenyatta VOD Review of Kaan
Jake's Zenyatta VOD Review of HTP
Edit: so I accidentally deleted a lot of the post when I tried editing something. This is the restored version and a little different from the original post I made. I tried to make it as close as possible, but if anyone who read the original post found something I missed please let me know.